My Life in a Nutshell
by tripping over isolines.x
Summary: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. With karma-induced days, "Siriusly" twisted moments, and a new James Potter that leaves her speechless, Lily's mind is spinning. Dizzy, much?
1. A Faint Pact

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

ENJOY!

* * *

Imagine a perfectly innocent 17-year old (if you can) running into King's Cross, her trunk and cage (with complimentary owl) rattling dangerously in her trolley. She's extremely late; 8 minutes before the train that she so highly depends on leaves its station. Her stomach is in stitches and she's panting furiously, but she can't be late.

Now imagine, if you will, that this is me.

Yes, me, Lily Evans, the responsible, organized, newly elected Head Girl rushing into King's Cross.

I'm ashamed too.

I barreled into the station, and tried my best to sprint to the platforms, narrowly avoiding many disastrous crashes. Once I'd arrived at platform 9 I realized that I was smack dab in the middle of a small inconvenience. The wizened man on the bench by the clock was observing me warily, as is wondering if I was going to explode. There weren't many people in the station, and the old man wouldn't stop staring at me. How was I supposed to enter platform 9 and 3/4?

So I stood next to the barrier I was supposed to sort of...melt into, desperately wondering what I should do. I was allowed to legally practice magic; maybe a quick Disillusionment charm? But before I could draw my wand I was given a rough push and found myself falling straight through the brick barrier, my trolley, trunk, and owl soon following me. I immediately stumbled into something rather large and hard.

Spinning around and nearly knocking myself over, I stared up into a pair of twinkling hazel eyes, peering at me from wire-rimmed glasses. I gaped like a fish for a few moments before hearing something faint in the distance.

"See, Prongs? All she needed was a push in the right direction." The chortling of a certain Sirius Black came from behind me. He had also just come through the barrier, and I assumed was the person who had shoved me through. I scowled at him and tried to gather myself before walking away, but then saw a flash of gold out of the corner of my eye.

I looked at Potter. He looked at me.

"You're...Head Boy."

A smirk was slowly spreading onto his face.

"So it would seem."

"I'm...Head Girl," I said dizzily, the platform beginning to swim before my eyes.

"Oh, really? How pleasant!" he responded cheerily.

I promptly fainted.

* * *

"Geez, Evans, I know women will swoon at me, but I thought you were resistant to my charms," a chipper voice commented as I slowly came to. I opened my eyes and realized that I was on the train. Fields were already speeding by, so I assumed that we had left the platform a while ago. A surge of misery flooded through me when I remembered; James effing Potter was the effing Head Boy.

"Stop with the prick-ishness," I snapped at him, sitting up and still feeling a little disoriented.

"Now, Lily, don't go telling me that you're vocabulary has decreased so drastically over the summer hols," Remus Lupin commented, smirking slightly. Sirius was lounging carelessly next to him and Peter Pettigrew was squished up against the window. James was sitting next to me, and I realized that my head had been in his lap.

Urgh.

"You created quite a scene back there," James said, a big grin plastered on his face. "What a perfect swoon, really- it couldn't have been more dramatic."

"Tell me James, didn't she put a hand to her forehead? Fall into your arms?" Sirius volunteered.

"Why yes, Padfoot. That was exactly what she did."

"I refuse to believe you!" I countered, narrowing my eyes viciously. However, my glare did not help my situation. The four boys continued to smile stupidly.

"Tell me, Lils- why did you faint?"

Head. Boy. Potter.

Potential violence.

I voiced my opinion out loud and their eyebrows raised.

"Head Boy, are you, Prongs?" Peter Pettigrew glanced at the gleaming badge pinned to his robes.

"Never thought I'd see the day," Remus said wistfully.

"Personally, I'm ashamed. It's an omen, I tell you." Sirius was quite obviously disgusted.

"As much as I'd like to stay here and converse, I have friends. Good day," I cut in, and with only a slight wobble in my step, I stepped out of the compartment and slid the glass door shut.

"LILY EVANS! Where in the WORLD have you been?"

A small, skinny form launched itself at me, nearly knocking me over. Miranda! At last, proof of decent civilization. She quickly dragged me into her compartment and sat me down across from her. Miranda was still the small shrimp she had been, but had grown up considerably. Her jet black hair now possessed several ice blue streaks that matched her eye.

Eye, yes. Not eyes. One of her eyes was dark; so dark, in fact, that I'd never been able to get a glance at its pupil. The other was the same blue that matched the streaks in her hair. Her appearance, while sounding a little disconcerting, was actually quite attractive. So much so that she could be considered the female counterpart of Sirius Black.

This fact sometimes had me concerned, but I tried to overlook it.

"You likey?" Miranda asked me, pulling me out of my slightly concerned thoughts. She gestured to her hair. The light blue streaks were almost shimmering in the warm glows cast through the compartment window.

Alice and Marlene sat beside her, eyeing her streaked hair in a rather exasperated way.

"We're not very impressed, you know," Marlene commented.

"Oh, what do you sods know?" Miranda asked, rolling her eyes and slumping in the corner.

"Remember, Miranda? We were trying to change your image. Didn't we decide last year that you were too...intimidating?" Alice said, her tone a little anxious. She didn't want Miranda to lash out.

I was still feeling grumpy from my fainting spell, so I decided to support Miranda and her streaks.

"Oh, she can keep the bloody streaks if she wants," I said, my irritation clear in my voice. Miranda beamed at me and crossed her arms confidently as if my vote settled the situation. From the look that Marlene gave her, it certainly did not. Alice gaped at me.

"Lily, you're the one who suggested for Miranda to change in the beginning!" Alice argued.

"Bah, humbug" was my articulate response.

"By the way, how come you were gone for so long?" Marlene asked, catching on to my agitated mood.

"I..." My voice faltered.

"Go on," Miranda volunteered.

"...fainted."

"Oh, really. How'd you do that?" Alice said, clearly amused.

"You know, if you squat and take forty deep, heaving breaths, then hold the last one and stand up quickly, you'll faint," Miranda interrupted.

We stared at Miranda and her odd blurt of information.

"Ignoring that, why did you faint? Unless you did it on purpose?" Marlene asked.

"I fainted because Potter's head boy."

There was a silence.

"Say that again."

"I fainted because Potter's head boy."

Another silence.

"You know, that joke really isn't funny," Alice told me.

"It's not a joke. James Potter is the fucking Head Boy."

Dead silence.

"It's the apocalypse," Miranda whispered, awed.

More silence. Why was there so much silence?

"Well..." Alice said, drawing out the word as long as she could. "I think I understand how you fainted. Shock, right?"

"Do I really have to answer?"

"Here, have a pasty," Marlene offered, drawing out a pumpkin pasty from the pile of sweets next to her. I took the pasty gratefully and swam around my own thoughts.

"Lily, this is bad. Really, really, bad."

"You think?"

"I can't believe it! Do you know what you'll have to do together? Rounds, meetings, dorms..." A large grin took residence on Miranda's face. "Ha. Perfect."

Alice smirked alongside Miranda, and Marlene wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Dorms. Just plain perfect."

Before I could yell at them to shut their traps, several taps were heard from outside the compartment. Fearing the worst, I dove underneath the seat to accompany several lost chocolate frog cards and many, many discarded wrappers.

Miranda immediately came to my rescue and shot up from her seat, opened the door, and said, "'Ello, James. Greetings, Groupies." She cocked an eyebrow. "What brings you dimwits here today?"

"Come to fetch my lovely Lilyflower," James responded, deliberately using the name I hated. "Prefects' meeting, remember?"

Miranda searched wildly for an excuse and blurted out, "Lily's in...BARCELONA!"

This phrase received a lot of blank stares.

"Yeah, Barcelona!" Marlene piped up, looking nervously in my direction. "She's...uhh...working on her tan!"

Alice muttered, "Lily doesn't tan, she burns." Unfortunately, the marauders caught her phrase. James' face appeared underneath the seat right in front of me.

"Go away," I said sourly.

Chuckling, he reached out and before I knew it I was sliding out from under the seat and being hoisted onto his shoulder. He carried me fireman-style towards a compartment near the end of the train.

I looked up and saw the prefects, looking mildly surprised at their head boy and girl. I struggled quickly out of James' arms and nearly fell on my bum. Several Slytherins giggled at my predicament. I shot them a dark look. We entered the compartment and attempted to break the rather embarrassing silence.

James cleared his throat. "So, you might be wondering why exactly I'm here. Personally, I'm wondering too." This comment received several nervous laughs. "But, just to console you, you shouldn't have any worries. At least you won't get a dry, humorless fellow who'll get you nowhere. I'm planning on flexibility."

A little surprised at James' slight act of maturity, I picked up from there. "It's really nice to see you all here; I was a prefect, so I have a little bit more experience than Potter-"

"James."

"Oh, alright then, James. I know how it's a little disconcerting to keep up with the responsibilities that come with your new positions, but I'm positive you'll do perfectly. 6th and 7th year prefects, you already know the drill, but I'll repeat it. First of all, you have the ability to take off house points, but use it sparingly."

"It's wrong to accuse someone of not matching their pants with their shirt," James volunteered.

"Second, please don't get distracted during patrols. It doesn't make me feel so happy when I catch two prefects-"

"Snogging the life out of each other in broom closets," James suggested.

"You know what, Potter? Just pick up from there."

"Will do, my dear Flower. Also, on the topic of patrols, we need to arrange a schedule. Do you think you can handle patrols if you pick out your partners?"

"Might not be a very good idea," I intervened, but several people groaned.

"Well, Lily the Living Sack of Fun, it seems as if they have another opinion," James said, smirking slightly.

I shrugged and said, "You may pick out your patrol schedules and partners, but, as before, please behave."

"I also think we should make several goals for the year, so we don't just rush headlong into things," James added. "The meeting's almost over, but we'll address these goals next time. Make sure to think up some ideas and write them down so we can actually progress from there."

The prefects nodded and stood up, lingering a little bit. Several of them struck up conversations outside the compartment and Remus hovered slightly, waiting for James. However, James gave him a slight nod and he left.

"I'm actually quite surprised," I commented in Potter's general direction. "This might actually work out."

"So keen to spend time in the dormitory with me, then, Evans?"

"Just when I'm impressed you have to ruin it all with your little acts of maturity."

James grinned and straightened up. "How about this- we make a pact. We'll cooperate as needed, and try to avoid huge blow-up arguments. And you have to try to stop fainting all over the place."

"I'll miss our little spats," I said sarcastically, but held out a hand in agreement. He took it and shook my hand firmly. However, he didn't let go.

"James."

"Sorry."

I laughed and exited the compartment.

* * *

Love it? Hate it? Review and tell me what you think.

Yeah, this is going to be another one of those long Lily/James fics- I just recently became obsessed with them because their love/hate relationship is too good to be true.

Review, my dear readers! The button is _just right there!_

_-.x._


	2. Chicken Fight

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Most of this chapter is, in all intensive purposes, a bitch fight. I find them very entertaining, and like making funny remarks when I'm in them.

Read, review, you know the drill.

* * *

"You're not dead."

"What an exceptional observation," I replied sarcastically to Marlene's obvious remark.

Miranda smirked, however. "If I'm not mistaken, she seems a little bit more than alive. She, dare I say it, is happy."

I looked at my accuser and frowned. "I'm certainly not happy. I'd never be happy in a situation like this. But at least he's not a total prat when it comes to his responsibilities."

"Come again?" Alice said, dumbfounded at my commending statement.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my robes closer around me as we rode to Hogwarts. The night was unusually chilly and my shivers nearly had me in convulsions.

"Hehe, she looks funny. It's like her eyeballs are rattling," Miranda said, pointing at me.

Oh, sometimes I really could not stand her.

The towers looming above us, the chariots slowed to a stop and we gathered our belongings. I couldn't wait for the feast and my warm bed; it had been quite a long day and I was eager for it to end.

A blast of warmth came as we entered the dimly lit Great Hall. So many bodies were pressed together that it was impossible to feel the remaining cold from outside. I shoved my way through and slowly made progress toward the house tables. Once there, I plopped down and looked at my empty plate expectantly. I continued staring for several minutes, solely concentrated on the porcelain plate (and, hopefully, the food that would soon be filling it).

"Dinner, I'm starving. I'd like some chicken, yeah?"

I looked up across the table and saw a, once again, grinning Miranda. However, the smile disappeared and turned to utmost horror once Sirius Black sat down next to her. Letting out a huff of air, she scooted down a seat. He followed. She scooted. He followed...

I chuckled at their antics, and heard another laugh come from next to me. Turning around, I realized that James Potter was sitting beside me. I sniffed haughtily, but decided not to scoot down a seat. I didn't want to repeat Miranda's show of immaturity.

He was obviously thinking the same thing, because he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "If you move, I'm moving with you."

See? It's not even worth it to attempt running away anymore.

"Oh, shut it. The only reason why I'm staying here is because I know it's hopeless to avoid you. But, seeing as we made a pact, it might be a bit more tolerable."

"That's my darling Lily Flower!"

"Say that again and all previous promises will be broken."

"That's my-"

"I said, shut it."

James smiled at me and I reluctantly smiled back. When did he get that dimple?

However, there were soon more distracting subjects than unexpected dimples. Because, lo and behold, two of the most unwanted characters in history were turning their steely gazes toward me.

Eva Kimble and Jane McCleef were already on the prowl, and something told me that I was going to be their first victim. Maybe it was instinct, and intuition, from the flashing glares they were sending in my direction. Perhaps it was a haphazard prediction from the years they'd spent tormenting me. But I knew, just knew, that they were coming for me. My suspicions were confirmed at once as an unnaturally sharp stiletto began to step in my direction, followed by another, and another...

And all the while, Potter just rattled on about his summer, under the impression I was paying attention to him. However, he obviously didn't see the dire situation forming in front of me - I was the one that needed the attention. I didn't just need attention, I needed HELP.

C'MON, JAMES! THERE IS A LADY IN DESPERATE NEED RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME?

"Lily? Are you hyperventilating?" Now that's more like it.

"I am in fact hyperventilating, James," I said, panicking as the two frightening girls came closer. They were staring- no, glaring. Ferociously.

The year hadn't even started yet! Why, oh why were they directing their moody PMS symptoms to me?

"Lily, red alert; two terrible, terrible people, just three meters away." Miranda's voice appeared right next to me, urgent and aggravated.

"Yes, Randy, I know that," I responded huffily, using her much abused nickname.

"Do NOT call me RANDY!"

"Well, that's alright then, love. I'll just call you Randalicious instead," Sirius said, appearing next to Miranda once more, stealthily slipping an arm around her waist. Her pupils dilated, making a very interesting effect with her different colored eyes. "Oh, no," she whispered. "Quick! Brutes! You, James and Sirius, get away! Go with your Marauder friends!"

"But-"

"NOW!"

James and Sirius shot us very confused glances before sauntering off to their buddies; at this, both Eva and Jane gave us sneering smiles before turning in the opposite direction to the boys who had just left our sides. I heard Miranda give out a small "phew" and I turned to see her, her expression and posture as if she had just fought a battle of a thousand nights.

"A tad overdramatic there, don't you think?" I asked her.

"The drama was effective and very well needed. Think about it; we've only been here for what, fifteen minutes? And to have those two clawing our eyes out at this time would be a record. If there's ever a time for me not to be feeling rebellious, it's right now. Plus, it killed two birds with one stone- we got rid of the prats."

I nodded and had to admire Miranda's quick, albeit odd thinking.

Alice and Marlene came up from the crowd, Alice looking cheerful and Marlene a little disgruntled.

"What's up with you two?" I inquired.

"I'd like to say the same. Eva and Jane are glaring daggers at you from over there."

"Oh, yes, we're quite aware of that- extremely aware, in fact. We just got rid of a potential start-of-year bitch fight."

"Admirable."

"That's my name," Miranda responded, grinning.

I sighed, shaking my head. The sad thing was, the name Miranda did indeed mean "admirable".

"So, you never told us why you guys were held up," I said. "What, get cornered by some Slytherins?"

"No, Alice just came across her lovely boyfriend Frank," Marlene said with all the annoyance she could muster. "It was a public snog-fest that I really wish I hadn't seen."

Miranda laughed openly at Marlene's situation, and I smiled sympathetically. Frank and Alice were in love, true love, and it was slightly intoxicating to see them around each other.

"I thought you two saw each other over the summer, though," Miranda piped up.

"What's your point?" Alice said dreamily.

"Don't pay attention to her, she's lost in Ga-ga land," Marlene muttered to us. I giggled.

Nearly all the students were settled down by now. Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling as always behind the half-moon spectacles, peered at all of us with a certain fatherly fondness. He stood up and everybody immediately quieted, looking at him with expressions of either solemnity or hunger, depending on whether they were eager for his speech or eager for the feast.

"Welcome, all, to yet another year of Hogwarts- and welcome the new batch of first years. I hope you will find it very accommodating in the castle, and look forward to your new classes. We have several announcements to make before we get to the feast that, I'm sure, all of you are waiting for," Dumbledore started off. I nodded in agreement.

"Now, of course, there are several rules to be enforced. For obvious reasons, the Forbidden Forest is forbidden and I trust that you won't wander there this year. Mr. Filch also has several new objects on the 'banned' list, and if you wish to read it you may take a look outside his office. Curfew, banned items, and disrespect are common mistakes made here, and to enforce these rules and keep the school as best as it can be, we have two new Head students." I flushed with pride. Miranda snickered next to me and it took every ounce of my will power not to slap her.

"Ms. Lily Evans and Mr. James Potter-" several gasps were heard throughout the hall "-yes, I know, it might be a surprise-" plenty of laughs echoed around the stone walls "-will be here to assist you.

"Now, I think that is all- welcome back to another year, and tuck in!"

As the dishes began to appear along the table I attempted to grab anything within reach. Miranda wasn't much better than me, but she was picky. She had nearly taken the whole bowl of rice before I stopped her and tugged it out of her reluctant hands.

"Rice-stealer," Miranda muttered.

"Pig," I said simply.

"Speak for yourself. Pass the steak, would you?"

I rolled my eyes at Miranda's odd eating habits but handed her the plate anyway.

"I thought you'd gotten rid of them!" Alice hissed to me. It was only then that I realized that Eva and Jane were, once again, heading in our direction. I shrugged and went back to my meal, still ravenous.

"It's no wonder they're so huge, look at how they eat." The cruel sniggers interrupted my food-scarfing process,

I looked up from my food and raised a questioning eyebrow. From beside me came Miranda's smart remark: "It's only-" she checked her watch "-45 minutes into the new school year. As far as I know, we haven't done anything to make you even remotely annoyed."

"And what pleasure do we owe to you that you come to us?" I added.

"Can't miss an opportunity," Eva said, smiling devilishly. She flounced over to me and put a bone-thin arm around my neck. Peering closer at her, I realized that she didn't look so good. She was even a little skinnier than usual.

Showing an unusual amount of concern, I offered her my chicken leg.

She promptly slapped me and said something along the lines of me ruining her new and effective diet, and then went on into a rant that had everybody in a 3-mile radius staring at her as if she was stark-raving mad.

Two things happened after this, and it was so fast that I could hardly hear more than this:

"You're such a bitch, you and your SLAGGY friend Miranda Goshawk, how dare you-"

"Er, I can sense something coming on. Anything I can do to help?" James had magically appeared, securing me with an arm around my waist. I didn't feel very comfortable plastered up to James' person- for some reason, I kept on getting shocks. But no matter how I struggled, he kept his tight hold and I couldn't break it.

Eva's eyes widened, then narrowed. I could've sworn her irises were red at this moment.

She lunged at me, attempting to claw my eyes out, but James held me even tighter than before.

Miranda rose from her seat, shaking a turkey leg in Eva's general direction. She looked slightly mad. Next to her, Jane grabbed the chicken leg and threw it down Miranda's shirt.

An earsplitting shriek, a blinding flash of light, and then a tentacled, red-spotted Jane appeared in front of the whole school. With a few more simple flicks of her wand, Miranda had Jane dancing an Irish jig, quick little limericks spilling from her lips.

Needless to say, I unwillingly gave my first detention of the year.

However, very willingly, I handed one out to Eva Kimble too.

* * *

Soon to be updated. REVIEW! Takes 15 seconds at the most.

-.x.


	3. Call It Karma

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: J.K.R.O.W.L.I.N.G. What does that spell? Not me!

I'm back! I had fun writing this chapter, and it's very interesting all in all. It's like a hyperbole of some of the suck-ish days I've had. Except not at Hogwarts...damn, wouldn't that be awesome?

Read and review!

* * *

Have you ever woke up in the morning of your own accord, then groaned and fell off your bed?

It's on mornings like that when I know for sure that the day's going to be hell.

After being introduced to the warm, cozy Head dorms last night, James and I had gone our separate ways without much to say. There had been pleasant, slightly awkward chit-chat, and I sensed that something new was beginning to boil. This year was going to be different.

As if on cue, the difference started on my first day of NEWT lessons, foggy and gray with the metaphorical rain clouds following me to and fro.

I am an early bird. I wake up at 6:00 to get ready, carefully setting my alarm for just the right time. However, this morning I woke up to a horrendously cheerful "Morning Lily flower!" that I oh-so-intelligently decided to ignore. To add to the confusion and misery, I finally woke up again at 8:00, giving me one hour to brush my teeth, take my shower, and eat breakfast.

Screaming with early-morning rage (it sounded more like a mad bullfrog's croak), I tumbled out of bed and dashed around my room, slamming my trunk once I had picked out my uniform. I headed towards the Head's bathroom, still furious at my tardiness, and swung open the door to find a whistling James tousling his hair in front of the mirror, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

I nearly fainted again.

Clutching the doorknob, I managed to get out "Sorry, sorry, I'll come back later..." before feeling my face go up in flames. I slowly shut the door and leaned against it, trying to calm my wildly raging hormones.

Merlin, that boy had such a body...

ACK. NO. YOU ARE LILY EVANS, AND YOU DO NOT FEEL A MILLILITER OF ATTRACTION TO JAMES POTTER. THAT IS VERY, VERY, VERY, AGAINST THE RULES!

Rules? What rules? But my delirious mind was interrupted as the door I'd been leaning on struggled to be opened. I shot straight up, forgetting that my clothes were on my lap, and saw James come out of the bathroom, this time fully dressed.

"Fancy seeing you this morning," he smirked, then glanced down at his feet where my white, lacy bra was lying so innocently.

I groaned.

"I'll get that," I whispered, mortified. Picking up my clothes that were strewn all over the floor, I resolutely marched into the bathroom, closed the heavy wooden door, and slid onto the cold tiled floor. What a start! I should've known from the beginning that the first day was doomed.

* * *

"Morning," Alice grumbled as I slowly slid into my seat next to her. "You're extremely late."

"Yeah, I know that," I whispered to her, still embarrassed and slightly paranoid of the next thing karma would throw at me. Marlene looked incredibly sleepy, like Alice, but Miranda looked like Christmas had come early. She was bouncing up and down in her seat as if she were a toddler waiting for the horde of presents sure to be delivered by the beloved St. Nick.

"Why must you be so mean? Stop jumping," I said grumpily while she continued to bounce up and down.

"I had chocolate. I had a feeling today was going to be hell, so I ate my entire stash of Honeydukes'."

I gawked at her, staring at her with wide eyes. "Miranda, you're going to be higher than Merlin's hat today," I said. She nodded up and down eagerly. I could do nothing but sigh, so I did, and then went back to my waffle.

"Get a good glance this morning, did you, Evans?" James Potter slid into the seat next to me, whispering seductively in my ear. I froze up and felt the regular blush creeping up on my cheeks. Curse my fair-skinned genes.

"That wouldn't have been a problem if you had just locked the door!" My voice was a bit louder than I intended it to be and everybody around us heard. James grinned devilishly.

"So, Evans, liked what you saw this morning?" he announced to the entire hall.

No! You said that too loudly! Now everybody's staring...

The only way to react to this was my witty comment. Waiting for my witty brain to come up with said witty comment, I opened my mouth.

Damn, no witty comment. Just that awful blush.

So, in the absence of the witty comment, I just slapped James' arm. However, it wasn't very effective, and he continued to smile at me. Now everybody was laughing.

"You're a stupid twit. And for your information, it's not like I meant to walk in on you. As I said before, it was your damn fault you didn't lock the bloody door," I said, the witty comment finally making its way out. In retrospect, however, it wasn't very witty.

"You shouldn't curse, Evans. It ruins your innocent appearance. And don't pretend that you didn't appreciate it," Potter said, throwing an arm around my shoulder. I immediately shrugged it off.

"You are very, very bothersome, and I am this close to hexing you into the next millennium. Care to push my tolerance further?"

Sirius plopped down next to the jumpy Miranda and began to inhale the pancakes on his plate. "You might not want to, Prongs. She looks like she's about to blow up," he remarked.

"Sirius Black!" Miranda shouted. We all stared as she jumped into Sirius' lap. Sirius, however, looked pleasantly surprised.

"Hello, my lovely morning glory," he said, a wide grin beginning to spread across his face. Then he looked up at us. "Who gave her crack this morning?"

"Nah, she's under the influence of Honeydukes' best," Marlene said, her fork missing her mouth because of her sleepy daze.

"Oh well, you don't see me complaining," Sirius said, the grin now plastered on his face and seemingly irremovable.

Alice groaned and whispered in my ear, "They're both going to do something they're going to regret."

"That's for sure," I answered.

And at that very moment, Miranda placed a kiss right smack on Sirius' lips.

"And that is our cue to head on out of here!" James said, rising from his seat and beginning to walk into the great hall. Disgusted, Marlene, Alice, and I followed him. But before we could leave, Jane McCleef stomped up to the snogging couple and proceeded to pry Miranda off of Sirius, then slap her across the face.

Feeling a sense of déjà vu, I watched another explosion of light and this time saw a polka-dotted, boil-ridden Jane, singing Phantom of the Opera at the top of her lungs.

I once again shelled out the necessary detentions.

* * *

Potions is no good.

Don't get me wrong, I'm ace at it. I even out-potion slimy, smelly, Sev.

But, however, subjects tend to make me unhappy when:

a. The professor flirts with me.  
b. When said professor claims that I belong in the worst house known to Hogwarts.  
c. When said professor pairs me with arch nemesis, James Potter.

I might be exaggerating a bit. He might've gotten a bit better. At least it's not Snivellus.

We were working with acids today, and he had given us warnings (about 53 of them).

"Remember, when you mix the essence of wolfsbane and the acromantula venom, you will get an undiluted, highly dangerous acid that you must handle with extreme care!" Slughorn announced for what seemed the millionth time. "It is a spreading acid and, unless you want to become a pile of cinders, do not on any circumstances get any on your skin!"

"And remember, acromantula venom is highly valuable stuff that took a lot of effort and galleons to get. So please, please don't waste any," he continued, shaking his head sadly while watching a small silver drop fall onto the floor, creating a small, perfect circular indent in the stone.

"Hello, my dear Lily flower. May I be your partner on this fine day?" James greeted me, nearly apparating over to where I'd set up my cauldron.

"No, Potter, bane of my existence. However, you can accompany Sirius Black over there," I responded lightly, beginning to prepare the potion ingredients.

"You see, Sirius Black already has a partner. Your hyper little friend Miranda Goshawk has claimed him as her own."

"Chocolate has no good influences on anyone."

He smiled at me and said, "But I thought it was a woman's prerogative."

"It might be our right to pig out on it, and it may be stereotypical, and it may be the best thing to ever bless this God damn earth, but there's such thing as too much of a good thing," I retorted.

James began to get closer than was really necessary and bent down, whispering, "I don't think that's true. I've never had too much of you."

I replied calmly, "Crappy moments are at my heels, so I'd appreciate it if you found your partner and left me alone. Remus is open, isn't he?"

"Nah, partnered up with Peter."

"Why am I not surprised."

"You should know by now, Lilykins. And seeing as-" he counted the heads in the room "-we're the only ones without partners, it looks like Fate brought us together."

"It also looks like Fate desperately wanted you injured. Work alone, if everybody's taken."

"JAMES!" Slughorn's voice boomed over the quiet simmering of the cauldrons and the murmuring of voices. "Please, get started on your potion!"

"You see, sir, I'm afraid I don't have a partner," James replied innocently. I narrowed my eyes.

"Nonsense! Lily there is right next to you- she'll be an awful lot of help to you, and you couldn't find a better potioneer in this class." Slughorn beamed at me. I could see Snape bristling with anger out of the corner of my eye.

"Of course, my dear, lovely, heavenly professor," I muttered flatly. I moved my stuff with slightly robotic movements and waited patiently for James to gather his books and bring them to the desk.

"Hey, I can't be that bad, right?" Potter said, throwing me a quick glance.

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Depends."

"Then I'll stay silent for now."

He grinned at me, and I smiled back reluctantly. However, this little action only caused his grin to widen and his eyebrows to wiggle. I rolled my eyes in response and picked up the acid mixture I had just created.

And that's when the Laws of the Bad Day got to me. I knew they would eventually.

The vial, full to the brim of acidic liquid, cracked slightly at the bottom for who knows what reason and a small, smoking drop seemed to fall in slow motion.

Onto my skirt.

So, what do you do when you're holding a cracked vial of acid, tolerating an Annoying Potions Partner (let's call them the APP), and watching your skirt slowly but surely disintegrate?

Why, you dump the acid carelessly into the cauldron, throw the vial onto the table, and hyperventilate. Then you desperately shake the APP's arm.

Finally, the APP catches on.

"Merlin," James whispered, his eyes widening as he watched my skirt disappear.

"Don't just stand there and stare, you fool! Tell me what to do!"

"You're better at potions than I am! Don't you know how to get rid of acids?"

"I don't deal well under pressure! Acromantula venom can be countered with a simple solution...water! Some water! Merlin, James, HELP!"

The next thing I knew, I was drenched with a blast of water from his wand. Shaking my now sopping hair and shivering slightly, I took several deep breaths as I calmed myself down. I looked up to finally see the entire potions class staring at me and a bewildered (and slightly scared) James, with his wand still pointed at me. He slowly lowered it and stared. At my chest.

I cast James a quizzical glance.

"Lily, you-you're wearing a white shirt," he stuttered.

And white underwear.

Oh, Merlin, no. Oh, for God's sake!

I moaned pitifully.

"Just give me your cloak," I ordered James quietly. He quickly obliged.

"What's there to stare at?" I demanded of the rest of the class. Their eyes widened as I glared at them. "Go on! You have potions to make!"

I sighed as the rest of the class reluctantly went back to their cauldrons. James was very flushed and his hand was about to go up to his head to ruffle his hair before I stopped his arm.

"Don't," I said through my teeth. "You don't know how much that irritates me."

Looking at me in confusion, he lowered his arm. "I'm really, really sorry, Lily. I didn't know the charm would be so strong!"

I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to control my anger, embarrassment, and all the other emotions that were rolling around inside me.

"It's...not your fault. 's mine. Should've been more careful," I said, once again through gritted teeth.

He nodded and said, "You know, if you want, I could help you dry-"

"Like you said, James, you're charms are powerful. I'd rather not be blasted to Wales, thanks," I said. I managed a smile at him. "Thanks for helping. I wouldn't have wanted to go around school-"

"-without a skirt. Yeah," he finished for me, and grinned back.

So. Things were going pretty well after all.

As well as they can go for a temperamental, accident-prone, 17-year old redhead girl on a day filled with concentrated bad luck.

* * *

Yup, I've kept my promise about updating every week or so- I like this story, and like writing it. Lots o' fun.

Next chapter...Miranda finally regains her normal personality, Sirius becomes Undesirable no. 1, and Lily and James begin to kindle a new, unusual friendship. And _everybody_ begins to notice.

Tata,

-.x.


	4. Relentless Fate

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: I'm Asian, not J.K. Rowling. And not an Asian J.K. Rowling (idon'tevenknowlolwut)

A/N: Karma Day continued. Enjoy!

* * *

Miranda was finally beginning to sober up. The shine in her multicolored eyes had gradually dimmed and the scowl on her face had begun to get more and more pronounced. Finally, by the last lesson of the day, she was a raging hormonal tornado- step out of the way, or you'll be wrenched from the ground and thrown willy-nilly over the rainbow.

Marlene, Alice, and I were patiently putting up with her seething anger. Sirius, however, was oblivious to her complete change in mood in the past two hours, and strode right up to her, armed with a pick-up line and a smirk. No matter how much we waved frantically to him over Miranda's back, he ignored us, and ploughed right on with his flirtations.

"So, Miranda," he started off, his eyes sweeping up and down her body. She narrowed her own eyes back at him, teeth gritted, fists clenched. I shared a quick glance with Marlene- we knew this wasn't a good sign.

"Heard you're good with a wand. How about you try mine?"

Oh. No. He did _not _just say that. Sirius grinned at his use of innuendo and settled back down for the retaliation.

To the people's surprise, Miranda slowly grinned and straightened up, a confidant gleam on evident in her irises.

"Oh, I'll show _you_ what I can do with a wand," she said brightly, and quick as lightning grabbed her wand and sent a variation of jinxes and hexes at Sirius.

* * *

_A Few Hours Later_

* * *

"Where's Goshawk?" asked Remus. He was sitting beside me, lounging in his chair. The arithmancy lesson was about to start, and we had always been partners- despite his choice of friends, he was a nice person. That is, unless his inner Marauder began to show. We, as in the collective students of Hogwarts, knew that every single one of them was potentially dangerous, and Remus was no exception. He was, however, a little bit more tolerable than the rest of them, and I found his company enjoyable.

"Where else? McGonagall's office, of course," I answered shortly.

"Ah, yes, I see. She does have quite a problem, doesn't she?" he responded airily.

"Judging by the fact that it's barely been 24 hours, and she's already caused three injuries, I'd say that things aren't starting out so well."

"Perhaps I should pass on the word to Sirius to back off?"

"Yes, you should probably do that, before he ends up in the hospital wing. Again."

What fate in the universe was causing my terrible day?

Maybe it was karma. Merlin knew that I did enough horrible things on a daily basis (by accident of course) to rack up a few points on the karma scale.

Karma-induced days, contrary to popular belief, will linger. Instead of lasting the morning, or merely staying the hour, they'll continue for the whole time. But karma was all about Newton's law- every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The only problem was, what was I doing to deserve such karma?

In that case, it was just bad luck that as I sprinted down the stairs my bag caught on the railing. It broke open, my stuff flying through the air and tumbling down the steps. I groaned as I saw my arithmancy text book, full of my notes, inserts, and marginal doodles, disappear into the trick step. To top that wonderful moment of such luck, my bag strap, which had been previously holding me back from a similar fate to my arithmancy text book, decided to let go of me and I tumbled down the flight of stairs.

Straight into the arms of...an undetermined person.

"Amos!"

I attempted to regain my dignity and tried not to hyperventilate. Because, in all his glory, Amos Diggory was standing in front of me, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow and a charmingly crooked smile.

"May I help you, Lily? Seems you're in a bit of a situation."

Help! Being offered by Amos Diggory, no less! I gave him a silly smile and said, "I'd be honored."

As soon as all my stuff had gone back to their proper places in my bag, I remembered my disappearing Arithmancy textbook. "Oh!" I said, and frowned. That book had my life in it- it was a memoir of doodles, quotes, and notes, the ultimate book of Lily Evans.

Amos looked at me questioningly.

"My arithmancy textbook," I explained. "It somehow...disappeared down the trick step."

"I assume you're looking for this," another voice called from the end of the hallway. There was a smirking James, holding my battered, well-loved textbook. "It fell on my head while I walking past Gregory the Smarmy."

"MINE!" I cried, leaping up and rushing to get the textbook. However, James moved his hand at exactly the wrong time, and I overestimated my sprint, and I ended crashing into him in my attempt to get the book back.

"Whoa," he said, catching me as I fell back on the rebound. Merlin, his chest was hard as _rock_.

Well, I already knew that, didn't I? I had (accidentally) seen it this morning.

"Sorry," I muttered, grabbing the textbook from him and cradling it in my arms. Soon, I had two confused 17-year old males staring at me as if I was a sort of enigma. Realizing my current situation, I blushed and quietly walked over to my now organized bag.

Awkward silence followed, but was broken by an unnatural cough.

"I was wondering, Lily..." Amos trailed off. I held my breath.

"Hogsmeade weekend is coming up, isn't it?" James interrupted loudly. My gaze switched to him and quickly became an accusing glare.

"Well, _yes_, I was just going to mention that," Amos said, irritated. "And I was wondering if you'd like to come."

James gave a half-hearted smirk and said, "Well, Amos, you're great and all, but I just don't feel that way toward guys."

"I wasn't talking to _you_," Amos said angrily. He turned all the way to me and stared at me, his blue eyes penetrating my green. "So?"

Uh.

Uhh...

My mouth began to regain control, even if my brain hadn't. That was how this next sentence came out.

"Miranda likes you!"

No, no, _no, _was that me?

"Oh, really?" Amos said thoughtfully. "Well, I'm really interested in you," he continued. "Are you sure you'd rather not?"

It was all I could do to nod.

"Well, then. Miranda. Miranda Goshawk, you say?" he asked absentmindedly.

I nodded again.

"Very well, then, I'll see..." He trailed off once more.

"You can't," James said, his voice slightly defiant.

"Excuse me?" Amos said.

"You can't ask Miranda to Hogsmeade," James pressed.

"Well, why not?" Amos asked, surprised at James' tone of voice.

"Because, in that process, other people will feel terrible- keep in mind other's hearts, right?" James said again in the same defiant voice.

"Well, in the process of asking somebody out, there is always a likeliness of broken hearts," Amos said argumentatively. "Miranda's decent. Thanks for the suggestion, Lily," he said brusquely, and began to walk down the hall.

The silence was just as thick as before, and I felt funny feelings boiling in my stomach. I was going to be sick, right? Something like that.

Because, well, that was jealousy, wasn't it? Potter was jealous. Of Amos. Why else would he be so insistent on Amos not taking Miranda to Hogsmeade?

Quite a turn of events, my brain hummed quietly. My consciousness seemed to be faltering, most likely due to shock than anything else.

But...wow. Potter liked _Miranda_?

Something...something's not right here.

It took me a while to realize that James had left, but snatching up my accursed bag and speeding down the corridor, I caught up with him. Damn his long legs- I was panting now, and unable to get out a coherent sentence. He glanced at me and smiled at my obvious overexertion.

"It's nice to see that you like her," I babbled. "She's quite a nice person, and everything, but I think you should let somebody else have her- I mean, Sirius likes her, doesn't he? And Amos does too, you really can't compete with them. Not to say that you're ugly or stupid or anything of the sort, but they're...they're her type, I guess you could say. Not to say that she only goes for looks, Miranda is quite a deep person-"

"Slow _down_, Lily," James said. To my surprise, he was laughing. "Start from the beginning again. I couldn't understand a _thing_through that speech."

No! I didn't want to repeat myself!

"I said," my voice calm and collected (or, at least, more so than it had been a few seconds before), "it's not a bad thing you like Miranda. But she's too...up for demand, I guess...maybe...you should just leave her alone?"

James's quiet laughter turned raucous and I flinched at the echoing sound of his guffaws.

"_Like...Miranda?_" he choked out, nearly doubled over.

"Well, seriously, it's not that funny!" I said, taken aback.

"Are you kidding me? It's hilarious! Lily," he said, calming down a bit but letting a few chuckles come through, "you should know by now that I've only got eyes for you." I avoided his gaze at this sentence. "I'm just concerned about Amos because of Sirius. Like you said, he _does _like her, and it's sort of amazing- he's never tried so hard to get a girl before."

"Doesn't seem like trying to me," I muttered.

"That's because Sirius is like the kiss and forget guy," James said patiently. "He never really cares for girls, it's all sexual tension and that sort of bogus shit." He smiled and said, "He's just starting to see what will happen if a girl he likes doesn't like him back."

Once again, I pointedly avoided his stare.

"At least he's getting lap dances," James said airily, and began to laugh again. "I'd give anything to get a lap dance from _my _girl."

This time I met his gaze, despite my efforts to look away. I blushed and he began to laugh all over again.

"You know, Evans, the way you plunged into that nonsense- I'd say you're jealous if I didn't know better." James grinned cheekily at me. "And I also picked up a few words...not ugly or stupid? That's new. I think you've made my day."

And, that infuriating grin still plastered on his face, he strolled down the hallway and turned the corner, disappearing from sight.

It was late- nearly 11:30. Having finished my homework hours ago, I was staring into the fire. The flames flickered and the sparks flew. It then occurred to me that fire represented love in so many ways. How many books had I read that said, 'the sparks flew'? How many romance novels had talked about the heat of love, burning passion, and all that other junk?

"I've always loved the fire," a quiet voice said from behind me. I jumped about a foot in the air before realizing that James had been standing behind the couch the entire time. Luckily, the only light in the room was the glowing embers of the fire, and my blush was not visible in the orange light.

"Same," I said quietly, resting against the back of the couch.

"A little late, isn't it? Shouldn't you be in bed?" Potter asked.

"Shouldn't you?" I retaliated, but my comment was ruined with a following yawn.

"Come on, go. Or I'll carry you," James threatened.

I grinned and said, "Then I best be heading up now- knowing you, you'd probably bring me to _your_room instead of mine."

With a wink, I stretched and left him staring at me in wonder by the fireplace.

Something was wrong, something was right...but wasn't that how karma worked?

* * *

A/N:

Hey...that ending for the chapter was a little calm and peaceful, good for the ending of Lily's intense day.

On a side note, I assumed the trick step was like Hogwarts' vanishing cabinet, and that it spewed the things that fell into it out of nowhere. So that's how James, by chance, got a hold of Lily's textbook.

Read and review, people! This is chapter four, but I have few reviews, no matter how many favorites or alerts I have! It takes 15 seconds or less! One word, even, is all I ask!

-.x.


	5. Of Exposure and Detention

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: The almighty J.K. Rowling owns everything ever.

This chapter is one of those stuck-in-limbo writings that I occasionally come up with for no reason whatsoever. It's probably horrible, but there isn't much I can do about it at the moment- I still see fit to post it.

* * *

It was 7:00 A.M., hardly a regular time for a person to be up and about, considering lessons started at 9:00.

Trying to avoid another embarrassing incident like what had happened yesterday, I quickly got to the Head bathroom and showered. Too late, I realized that I had left my change of clothes in my room. Scanning the bathroom for a towel, I saw none except for the hand towel; a small thing, it would hardly cover me.

But it was either skimpy towel or nothing at all.

So carefully wrapping myself up in the towel, I stuck my head out of the door to check the area.

No James. Goodie.

I scampered out of the bathroom and across the common room, but my towel slipped; I quickly attempted to adjust it, but it didn't seem to want to cooperate. I felt so exposed.

A knock on the window alerted me to a watcher.

Will Kerrigan, the cocky, arrogant Ravenclaw Seeker, was casually floating on his broom by the window, watching me struggle with the tiny towel. He winked slyly and a smirk began to slowly spread across his face.

My scream was enough to wake the people within a 10 feet radius. Which it did.

Which explains why James rushed out of his bedroom, hair madly tousled and eyes bright with surprise.

I really don't have to explain what came next; all that followed was a loud yelp, a running streak of flame-red hair, and a loud slam of the door.

And a very, very deep blush.

* * *

"Geez, Lily, you've been having problems with way indecent exposure," Alice snickered while I stared determinedly at the wall in front of me.

"You look like a freak. At least stare at a painting, or something- the wall's so plain," Marlene informed me.

"I am a freak. I big, big freak, that has a very, very bad amount of stupid, stupid karma." I banged my head on the wall repeatedly.

Miranda's face twisted a little bit. "I still can't believe you, Lily- you, forgetting something? You never forget anything! Lily Evans does not forget anything, ever, at all, especially her clothes."

"I do now."

There was an awkward pause, and we descended the rest of the stairs in silence. The Great Hall was already filled with the regular amount of chatter; morning classes had just ended and people were wandering about, grabbing bites of lunch before their next subjects. I sat down on the bench and moaned pitifully, burying my head in my arms.

"Brisket, Miranda?" A voice said politely from across the table. I looked up in surprise to see a stony-faced Sirius, holding out a porcelain plate.

"No, thank you," Miranda responded icily. She avoided his intense glare and said offhandedly, "You know what, guys? I'm afraid I'm not very hungry right now. See you later."

Without another word, she stomped out of the great hall.

"But Miranda never leaves without her brisket," Alice said concernedly.

Right at that moment, Miranda appeared once more next to us.

"Arnf," she grumbled, and grabbed the plate of brisket before disappearing again.

In response to this odd little display of anger, Sirius also threw down his fork and stalked off in the opposite direction. Marlene, Alice and I shared confused glances before turning to our dishes. I felt a body slide into the seat next to me.

An arm slipped around my waist. I stiffened.

"Flashing the world is not something I'd expect out of you, Lily Evans," an unfamiliar voice purred in my ear.

I narrowed my eyes at Will. "Get your filthy hands off of me. What are you doing, by the way, riding your broom at 7:00 A.M.? I suppose you're just playing Peeping Tom on all the girl's dormitories?"

Will chuckled slowly and continued his dirty flirting. "Only interested in you, Missus," he whispered, and his lips lightly brushed my neck.

Two things happened at once.

From different directions, two spells bounced off of Will Kerrigan simultaneously. He jumped up and went rigid; immediately, his hair began to grow longer and longer, until he could no longer see. Out of the hair came two enormous front teeth. The people around watched with growing fascination as the hair-teeth creature stumbled out into the hall and right into Professor McGonagall.

"Lily? Are you alright?"

James still had his wand out, eyes cloudy.

I glanced down at my own wand. I had cast the Densaugeo spell, and watched as Professor removed the hair and stopped my curse. I shivered; two Heads, both using magic unsupervised. What would become of us?

I quickly learned when McGonagall strode toward us, grabbed us roughly, and began marching us up to her office.

"Despicable. I would've expected better from two Heads, let alone you, Ms. Evans." The disappointment in her voice rang in my ears. "I have nothing more to say, except that you will join me in this office tonight before your rounds to discuss your detentions."

"Detentions?" My voice was louder than I had intended. "But Professor, I've never had a detention before!"

"Congratulations, then," McGonagall said, nodding curtly in my general direction. "However, this detention is well earned. You should know better than anyone that it is against school rules to use magic in the hallways."

"Our actions were provoked, Professor," James spoke up. He seemed to be determined to get us out of this. "Kerrigan was touching her."

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "Touching?"

"Violating my personal space, entering my bubble, etc.," I muttered underneath my breath.

"And you didn't think to just tell him to stop?" Professor McGonagall continued to question.

I responded, "...I guess casting a spell was more of my impulse reaction."

"Then, please, Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter, learn to control your impulses," McGonagall sniffed. "My office, 8:30." She paused slightly and then added, "I'll make sure to talk to Mr. Kerrigan about this, too."

More silence.

"Well? You're free to go," McGonagall dismissed us in an agitated tone.

After the double doors to her office closed, James mumbled, "Bloody teacher and their one-sided decisions."

I remained silent.

"Lily? Are you alright?"

I paused before answering.

"I have detention. Detention."

"Honestly, it's not all it's worked up to be. So you clean a few trophies or scrub down the dungeons- unless you've got something against cleaning supplies, you'll be fine," James assured me, but I was already starting to freak out.

"Detention? Detention? Oh, when Mum and Dad hear this they're going to be so mad, darling perfect Petunia never gets detention, detention, stupid bloody fucking detention..." I wrung my hands and paced back and forth across the hall. A pair of firm hands stopped me mid-step and I nearly tripped and fell head over heels.

"Calm, Evans. You're overreacting."

I looked up at James' face with wide eyes. A funny little grimace passed over his face, but quickly disappeared.

"I'm not dead, am I?" His voice was calm and serious. I knew he was trying to comfort me.

"I don't think so," I responded shakily.

"And, I bet you can count how many detentions you yourself got me into," James continued.

"It's just the right thing to report the wrong," I mumbled.

"That's not the point, Lily. What I'm saying is that you'll be absolutely fine. You're going crazy over nothing; when the detention is over and done, you'll see that your overreaction is like getting excited to watch flobberworms."

"I don't believe you."

"Ask your friend, then," James said, taking his hands off of my shoulders. A weight lifted off of me. "I bet Goshawk knows plenty about detentions."

"She's still alive," I added thoughtfully.

"That's it, Evans," James grinned. "Just mellow it out, okay? Nothing's gonna happen."

I nodded and for some reason felt a smile slipping onto my face.

Hmm. Apparent delirium.

James and I attempted to slip quietly into the charms classroom, but Professor Flitwick barked at us the moment we stepped through the door. I froze.

"Ms. Evans and Mr. Potter, if you would please sit down!" For some reason, Flitwick's expression was unhappy, for whatever reason I couldn't imagine. I ambled over to Marlene, but Flitwick piped up behind me once more- "No, no, not there, Ms. Evans! We're working in partners today, and Ms. McKinnon is already paired with somebody else.

Alice waved sheepishly at me. I glared.

"However, you and Mr. Potter may take the vacant seats over there." Flitwick directed me toward the two desks at the back of the room. A shudder passed through me. Was that a spider that had just crawled over the desk?

Or, was that a six inch black widow?

And was I going to be partners with Potter? Again?

Terrible teachers tortured the terrified teenager.

Ooh, alliteration.

"I thought Flitwick would at least give you some credit," James whispered in my ear. "I thought you were his 'star pupil'."

"Evidently, that title has been robbed from me along with my spotless detention record," I huffed as I planted myself down on the chair. Examining the desk closely, I realized there had been a spider there- however, it scuttled off toward the window once I took note of it.

"No worries, Evans. No worries," James chuckled. I gave him an angry harrumph in response.

The lesson went by fairly fast- Protean Charms, no matter how "difficult" they seemed, were actually much easier in retrospect. I picked up the charm immediately and decided to watch James struggle.

"You know, you're supposed to help me," he said after attempting and failing the charm yet again.

"You're doing it wrong."

"Obviously."

I grinned at his frustration and picked up my two perfectly copied rocks; each had the same etching on it, an engraving of a lion. I smiled to myself as I changed one rock; the other one immediately changed with it.

"Here," I said, and made another copy of the rock. I handed it to a surprised James.

"You're supposed to say 'thank you'," I told him.

"How come you're helping me, Evans?"

"Aren't I supposed to, James?"

A funny look passed across his face and a crooked smile appeared. "Well, then, thank you, Lily."

"You're welcome. Truly, truly, welcome."

* * *

Ok, that chapter sucked eggs.

However, no major worries; I've started the next one, and hopefully it won't be as disappointing as this one.

And I blame my supreme suck-ishness on the fact that I'm sick with STREP THROAT during my damn vacation! I never get sick during school! Only. During. Vacation.

The irony. Oh, the irony!

REVIEW AND I SHALL FEEL BETTER. At least, emotionally.

-.x.


	6. Questions

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Thy tis not J.K. Rowling, but merely a lowly olde scullery maid with a 21st century "laptop" and too much timeth.

This chapter is A LOT better than the last one. I don't blame you if you were utterly blown off by the last one; I'm even considering taking it off, but I thought Lily needed a detention somehow. I don't know, I'm crazy, don't listen to me.

Here we go! Read, and REVIEW. Please?

* * *

Imagine my surprise as I walked out of the charms classroom and into the hallway, to see my best friend getting a little _too_close to a very attractive certain someone.

Amos Diggory and Miranda were snogging in the empty hallway.

"Merlin," I whispered, and immediately took a detour, only to run into the full Marauder gang.

Slowly, my mind began to piece things together.

_Sirius+Miranda=In Lurve._

_Miranda+Amos=Lust._

_Sirius+Amos=Potential Enemies._

_Sirius+(Amos+Miranda)=Romantic Catastrophe._

I had to plan. And I had to plan _quick_.

So I did the only thing that came to mind.

I lunged at James, tackling him to the ground and effectively halting the Marauders in their gradual advancement toward The Corridor. Knocking over James seemed to have a domino effect; it in turn toppled over Sirius, who crashed into Remus, who then finally fell onto poor Peter, who hit his head hard on the stone floor.

"Have you gone _mad_, Evans?" Sirius hissed.

I was a little preoccupied, seeing as my entire self was lying on James. His hazel eyes were wide and surprised, but they soon started glittering at the close contact. Blushing furiously, I hastily attempted to get off of him, but his arm caught me around the waist and with a small _oomph! _I was once again lying on top of him.

"Let go," I grumbled, however halfheartedly. I could feel the low rumble of his laugh underneath me.

"Get a room, you two," Peter muttered.

Remus was looking at the pair of us amusedly, and finally asked a sensible question. "Other than the opportunity to lie on top of James, how come you attacked us in the middle of the hallway?"

I struggled to straighten up and James sensed my action. But instead of letting go of me, he just adjusted me so I was sitting on his lap. Giving up with a final annoyed grunt, I looked Remus in the eye.

"There's...a ghost in the corridor," I improvised.

"There are ghosts everywhere around the school," Sirius said skeptically.

"But...the ghosts are reenacting the beheading of Queen...Kyle!"

Queen Kyle. Way to go, Lily Evans.

Peter raised an eyebrow and said, "Even I know that there's no Queen called Kyle."

" 'Queen Kyle'," James smirked. "Queen of the worst liars on earth."

"And anyway, we've all seen Nearly Headless Nick before. A beheading is nothing much." Sirius finished his comment and proceeded to walk toward the corridor to see exactly what was going on.

I launched myself at him, too.

"NO!" I shouted, dragging him back toward the rest of his friends.

He looked at me sourly and said, "Don't make me jinx you, Evans."

"I don't care. You can't go there. Consider yourself a voyeur if you do."

"You should know, I have a weekly subscription of-"

"Don't finish that sentence!"

I finally deposited him right next to Remus, who passed me an odd glance. I stalked over to James and knelt down to whisper in his ear.

"Diggory and Miranda are in there, and they are very, very busy," I hissed. An expression of comprehension passed across James's face and was then taken over by a look of determination.

"Right. Guys, c'mon. We _really_don't want to go in that hallway." He got up from the ground, brushed himself off, and started walking in the opposite direction.

"Why? I think that Evans is up to something," Sirius argued.

"She is," James agreed, "but this time it's for the greater good. For our greater good, actually. Mental scarring will be in order if we step a foot down that corridor. Now c'mon, I don't want to miss dinner."

I waited until the Marauder's raucous voices had disappeared, and then carefully stepped into the "forbidden" corridor.

Amos and Miranda were gone, probably off to a more secluded spot. I sighed; however awry the plan had went, it had still been effective.

Then something dawned on me. Was I conspiring? With _Potter?_

"So."

I turned my head to a very suspicious looking Marlene.

"I heard that you jumped James in the middle of a corridor today."

"Word sure does get around quick, doesn't it?" I responded airily. The smirk on her face grew more pronounced.

"So it's true? Pray tell, dear Lils, exactly _what _poor James ever did to deserve a full on tackling from you?"

"He probably enjoyed it," Alice sneered as she slid into the seat across from me. I shrugged and was about to tell my tale when I spotted a very giddy-looking Miranda entering the Great Hall.

I shut my mouth and whispered, "I'll tell you later. And I'm not the only one with stuff to spill."

Distracted momentarily, I glanced over at the Marauders, where they were attempting to talk up several 5th year fan girls. Wishing immensely that it was proper table manners to snort into ones' pudding, I noticed something.

Potter was usually the one flirting the most. However, he only gave a few secretive smiles, and went back to his food without another word. He caught my eye and winked, and I turned back to my dinner, clearly flushed.

Alice was watching this whole thing with a raised eyebrow.

"Be expecting a surprise from us tomorrow morn," she said eerily.

"No idea what you're talking about. Besides, you can't get into the head dorms."

"You told us the password, remember? It's very odd, though- who makes the password for the most exclusive dorms in Hogwarts _Polyurethane?"_

"Sensible heads who don't want urchins sneaking into their rooms at night."

"I hope that wasn't an insult."

"Keep on dreaming, then. Keep on dreaming."

"Are you going to speak up, or what?" Marlene waved hand in front of Miranda's face. Her expression remained dreamy and unattached.

"She's had quite a day," I told Marlene and Alice, before turning to Miranda. She felt my narrowed eyes on her and looked at me innocently.

"What did I do wrong?" she asked, genuinely puzzled.

"I suppose it's my fault. But you have plenty of explaining to do tonight," I sighed.

"After your detention, I suppose?" Alice smirked.

Detention. Detention. _Detention..._

My fork clattered onto the plate and I felt the blood drain out of my face.

"She looks like a corpse," Marlene commented.

Oh, thanks.

"What's this? Perfect little prissy Evans in _detention_?"

Oh, those horrible screeching voices! As unwelcome as nails against a blackboard. I looked up reluctantly and met the gaze of Eva Kimble.

"Never invited you to sit with us, did we?" Miranda said angrily.

"We don't need an invitation. Our presence is complimentary," Jane sneered back.

"Oh, just run off and play your flirting games," Alice grumbled. "I thought you had 'better things to do' than hang out with 'the likes of us'."

Jane shrugged and snatched a piece of roast beef off of Miranda's plate. She obviously hadn't learned; never, ever, _ever_, take away Miranda's beef, or you shall pay the consequences.

Before things could so elegantly blow up in our faces, I grabbed Miranda and pinned her against the bench. She snarled at Jane and looked quite deranged; I mouthed to Marlene, _Help me._

She picked up the message and disarmed Miranda quickly. After a matter of seconds, Miranda had calmed down. I glanced nervously around the Gryffindor table to find the entire house staring at us.

Leave it up to the four of us to make such an appropriate scene.

"But you have detention too!" I cried.

"Not with you, I don't," Miranda said coldly. "Minerva put me with Otto Perkins, that odd ball from Ravenclaw. See if I can get through _that_without him attempting to talk me up with a chat about Remembralls or the latest from Zonko's."

Miranda had several rather annoying traits; one, the fact that she so casually used the teachers' _first_names, and second, the way she could be so judgmental. We all knew Miranda's level of intelligence, and how she commonly conversed with the teachers after class, discussing the latest in spell advancements, charms, jinxes and hexes. For all I knew, she might've even been spell engineering with them every so often. However, her judgment issues always detracted from her personality. It was one of the main characteristics of Miranda that made her seem so cold.

"Lighten up," I muttered. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"If there's anybody who needs to lighten up, it's you. There's nothing about detention that you have to worry about, besides the fact that you have it with James Potter."

"I bet, Potter's going to do something nasty, I _know _it-"

"You've been all friendly as of late. Who knows? Maybe things will-"

"Hello, ladies."

We whipped around to see a grinning James.

"Potter," I acknowledged. Miranda nodded right next to me, not losing an ounce of her cool. However, I just knew that my face was fire truck red.

"There's no reason for you to be worried, by the way," James informed me. "I informed my fellow Marauders that we would be needing a distraction for tonight."

"A...distraction?"

"Yes, Evans, a _distraction_, to put it lightly. Something that will get us out of detention. They complied enthusiastically." He grinned. "However, I have absolutely no idea what they're going to do. But don't be surprised when it happens."

"You know that we're Heads, Potter," I said seriously.

"Yeah, I'm pretty aware of that."

"You shouldn't continue to issue out your pranks!"

He put up his hands defensively. "I told you, I've got nothing to do with it. The idea was actually all theirs. Sirius figures this might lighten his mood, also. It's a much-needed Marauder relief."

"Why would ickle little Siri need to lighten his _mood_?" Miranda chided.

"He's got a lot on his mind," James said through his teeth, not bothering to look at Miranda. She seemed slightly put out at the lack of attention and harrumphed before walking away.

"I'll be in the dungeons if you need me," she called out for no reason.

A couple of seconds passed in silence.

"I know she's your friend and all, but she can be a right bitch," James said.

"We've known that for years, now," I sighed unhappily. "You get used to it after a while, and learn to fend on your own. It's like she builds up defenses."

"...right."

We quietly walked up to McGonagall's office, anticipation for my detention coursing through my veins. It was a small, common thing, and I knew I wasn't in danger.

At least, any physically harming danger.

However calming my methods of thought were, I still felt a rush flood through me as I heard McGonagall say, "Take a seat, Ms. Evans, Mr. Potter."

A chill raced down my back, my knees became weak, and I immediately felt a head rush. Fever signs; maybe I could get an excuse to the hospital wing.

"Lily? You alright?" Potter's hand prodded my arm lightly. I nodded, my gaze unfocused.

"You'll be working in the flooded hallway," McGonagall said crisply. "Using no magic, of course." She handed a bucket and two super-sized sponges to James. "Have fun." With a lopsided smile, she exited her office.

I stood there for a moment and let McGonagall's words sink in.

"We're just...mopping up the hallway?" I asked faintly.

"Sponging it, more like," James said, wrinkling his nose while picking up one of the gargantuan sponges.

A grin broke out on my face. "YES! YES, YES, YES, YES, _yes!"_

James laughed at my relief and said, "Told you so. It's just muggle labor."

I passed him a dark look. "You make it sound like slave labor."

"I'm lazy; so sue me."

The hallway, it turned out, was so flooded that it seemed nearly impossible to soak up even with our huge sponges. A grimace twisted on our faces before we set out to work.

But the moment my sponge touched the floor, the water began to flow. It started out as a trickling, and then a gushing, but all the water was being..._dragged_, for lack of a better explanation, as if it were being magnetized.

"_Yes!_," James whispered elatedly as the water slipped past our fingers. A smile broke out on his face. I couldn't help but hold back one of my own.

"Follow it," I told him on a whim. He looked at me questioningly, but did so; I followed him, too.

The water seemed to be very fickle. It would twist one way, then change direction suddenly, and I was getting dizzy in my attempt to keep up. However, James seemed to know where it was going. The smile on his face was just getting wider and wider; finally, he grabbed my arm and broke out in a sprint.

Before I knew it, we had burst through the front doors to meet a huge crowd, the pursuing the water stream all the way. James dragged me into the block of people. At the head of the crowd near the creek stood a smiling Remus, a laughing Sirius, and a happy Peter.

The water began to swirl around in a spiral shape, rising into the air and mildly resembling glassy, transparent DNA. It slowly became a glass orb and then finally transformed into a condensed, watery lion that roared loud enough to make the ground tremble. Finally, it burst into a million glittering water drops that showered the entire student body.

Enthusiastic clapping surrounded us as the water drops rearranged themselves to spell out in careful cursive,_Courtesy of Yours Truly, the Marauders_. I laughed giddily, all prospects of punishment gone now that the deed had been finished, along with a supply of entertainment.

"Well, that worked," I said matter-of-factly, turning to James, my hands on my hips.

"So? Did you like it?" He raised an amused eyebrow.

"It's not exactly Marauder-esque, for your pranks usually involve more humiliation and are on a much grander scale," I started off playfully. "...but I liked this one. Effective _and_productive. There's no longer a mess in that corridor, right?"

James grinned back at me and unexpectedly picked me up and spun me around. I collided into him from dizziness; laughing, I scrambled to straighten up again, but he wasn't having any of that nonsense. He held me in a close embrace and I couldn't help but feel more comfortable than I had ever in my entire life.

What was this feeling?

Why was I feeling it toward _Potter_?

I ignored the nausea-inducing questions and stared up at the glittering cursive letters, letting go in the moment. I could answer myself later.

* * *

A/N:

Fluffy, wasn't it?

You better be expecting that surprise visit Alice mentioned to Lily.

Sirius and Miranda are going to create a spectacle, and things are going to get a little messy.

Lily's karma is about to turn positive; as you can sort of tell from this chapter, it already was pretty good. The return of Eva in the next chapter, along with a proposition Lily might not be able to refuse.

REVIEW BUTTON IS JUST! RIGHT! THERE!

-.x.


	7. Denial of Realization

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, will never, despite my many wishes.

Read and review, as always! I've been getting some reviews that say the particular reader is awaiting Alice's aforementioned surprise...I guess, for those paying attention, it isn't a HUGE surprise.

Enjoy!

* * *

You would imagine that I was confused when I woke up to see my friends hovering over me. I shrieked and jumped out of bed.

"You're not supposed to be here!" I cried.

"What's your point, you silly little Lily?" Marlene asked. She was fingering a bit of parchment and had a wicked gleam in her eyes.

"Take a look at this," Alice said smugly, snatching the parchment from Marlene's fiddling fingers and handing it to me. I reached for it hesitantly and read the words:

**"D**enial (this isn't _happening_to me!)

**A**nger (why is this happening to _me_?)

**B**argaining (I promise I'll be a better person _if_...)

**D**epression (I don't _care_anymore)

**A**cceptance (_I'm ready_for whatever comes)

-From Kubler-Ross**."**

I looked up from the list and frowned at my friends. "Aren't these the stages of grief?"

"Or the stages of _love!_" Miranda emphasized. Her eyes were bright with excitement and insight. However, I didn't have the foggiest clue of what they were talking about.

Clear as a crystal ball. Meaning, definitely NOT that clear to me.

"You arses better up and explain to me now or I will kick you out this window," I said, pointing threateningly to the window beside me, which inevitably led to a rocky, painful landing.

Marlene rolled her eyes at my scary statement, however, and just pushed passed Alice and read the list aloud again, then repeated Miranda's words: "The stages of love, Lily, the stages of love!"

"I have no love."

"Pity the poor girl," Alice mocked. "And you know that's a flat lie. Remember? You're the apple of James' eye."

I wrinkled my nose. "Potter, then? You're talking to me about love and _Potter?_"

They nodded in unison.

I narrowed my eyes until they were slits. "It's barely 6:00 A.M. I don't have time for petty things like romance."

"There's always time for love!" Alice shouted.

"There's nothing going on between James and I," I sniffed haughtily and stomped out the room. However, I caught Miranda's telltale voice before I slammed the door-

"You know what, Lily? I think that's one of the first times you've called him James out loud."

* * *

"It was _not _the first time. I've done it twice before," I argued, sitting beside Miranda at the Gryffindor table. I desperately needed some breakfast.

"I'm surprised you actually remember," Miranda snidely responded. We were arguing, once again, on the _Potter_matter, something that they were getting quite hyped up about. I myself was extremely annoyed that Miranda had gotten the last word this morning, and was keen on setting her straight.

"It's such a rare thing, I'd have to be idiotically oblivious in order to not remember," I huffed back.

"Whatever, Lily. Even while you're defending yourself, you're giving in."

And I knew that she was right. I was doing exactly what they wanted me to do- I was denying.

I decided to change the subject.

"You still haven't told them about Diggory, have you?"

Miranda's eyebrows folded together. "How did you know about him?"

"Oh, you know, I always happen across my friends shagging in the hallways."

Miranda's eyes went wide and she was about to protest, but I held up a finger. "I know, I'm exaggerating."

She went bright red.

"Unless I'm not?" I gasped, sincerely hoping that Miranda hadn't made such a shallow mistake.

"No, no, we didn't get _that _far," she mumbled.

"Well, you should be quite happy I was the only one who caught you," I said, stuffing some eggs into my mouth. Lessons would start in ten minutes. "The marauders were heading in the same direction, and _who _knows what in the world would've happened if they'd caught you?"

The blush from before had left Miranda's cheeks, but it rose again, this time so deep that she faintly resembled a tomato. "I'd rather we not talk about the Marauders."

"Weren't we doing that just a moment ago? The stages of grief, and all that crap?"

"Lessons," Miranda squeaked, hurrying out of the hallway without another word. I stared off at her until she disappeared from my vision.

"Lilly-bo-billy!" said an enthusiastic voice from behind me. To my surprise, Sirius was heading in my direction. He had a determined gleam in his eye and I could only _imagine_what he was up to. Squaring my shoulders and narrowing my eyes, I glared up at him from my seat.

He raised his hands in a defensive way, as if to say that he meant no harm. "I come in peace," he said resolutely before cracking into a grin. "I just need some help."

"When would you ever ask help from _me_, Black?" I scoffed.

"The apocalypse has come," he said, flashing his straight white teeth. A distant voice in the back of my head quoted the phrase Miranda had said when I'd told her about James' Head-Boy-ship.

"Make it quick, lessons are starting soon," I snapped, grabbing my transfiguration textbook from the table and stuffing it into my messy bag.

"Understood," Sirius said. "It's just a quick question."

"Shoot."

"Do you, my fiery little charms master, know any spell that will help with the controlling of birds?"

"Is this a plot for another one of your pesky pranks?"

"It depends on your perspective."

"Look it up, ask somebody else- I'm not going to involve myself in any bit of your 'marauding'," I said stubbornly.

"It's for the best," Sirius pleaded. "And anyway, as you say, I'm going to get it eventually- why not just give it to me now, and save me the trouble of searching?"

"No!"

Sirius glared at me for a moment, but then a slow smirk spread across his face. "Alright then, Evans. See you later. Say hi to Jamie for me," he said casually, picked up his stuff, and walked toward the Entrance Hall.

The morning had passed without any event worth mentioning, and I was slowly sinking into a stupor as Professor Binns droned on in his usual monotone. The air was hazy with humidity and the day was unusually warm for fall, making my robes stick to me as I struggled to keep consciousness. Though I had purposely chosen a seat next to the window, there was no breeze to speak of and the sun beat down on me relentlessly.

My nearly unconscious mind then began to hallucinate.

I was in a stone room with no doors and no windows, with grey carpet and brick walls. Dressed in my uniform but without my robe, I was dancing madly to the warbling voice of Celestina Warbeck. Wobbling wildly around the room and appearing as if I had a dysfunctional Jelly Legs Jinx cast on me, I hummed and sang to the tune of the song.

"I'm lonely," my imaginary self said. I began to think of it as my Conscience.

"I _said_, I'm lonely!" Conscience shouted out again.

"I need a dance partner," Conscience said matter-of-factly.

There was a quiet pop, as if somebody were bursting a bubble, and James Potter appeared in the room, dressed in his uniform as well but also without his robe.

"Hey! Get out of here, this is my daydream!" Conscience shouted.

Hypothetical James just shrugged, decided to say nothing, and sat down criss-crossed on the floor.

"I don't _like_you," Conscience whined. "Please get out."

Hypothetical James stared at Conscience Lily for a little bit, shrugged again, and leant back against the wall in a reclining position.

"Oh well," Conscience sighed, exaggeratingly exasperated. "I need a partner. You'll do."

Conscience Lily grabbed James' arm violently, tugged him to his feet, and the two mirage-like figure began to twirl and step in the brick-walled grey-carpeted room.

They square-danced, they Irish-danced, they ballroom-danced, and they kept on dancing, and dancing, and...

_Poke_.

No, no, go away! I want to watch the two figures dancing. They're so beautiful.

_Poke._

I SAID, go away!

_Stab_.

Ow! That...

"Lily? Is there anything in the UNIVERSE that I can do to wake you up?" the real James roared angrily from next to me.

I shot up out of my seat and took a step forward, still not fully conscious. I ended up tripping over my bag, arms flailing, and falling into a pair of strong arms.

"Th-tha-thanks," I stuttered, a yawn distorting my word.

"No problem."

An awkward silence settled around the room. I decided to break it by reaching for a parchment that had fluttered to the ground- it seemed old and crumpled, a doodle sketched on it-

"No, that's mine," James said sharply, snatching the scrap of parchment from me and stuffing it into the depths of his bag. I looked at him questioningly but he avoided my gaze.

"Whatever," I sighed. "What do we have n-n-now?" I yawned once again.

"It's a free period," James informed me.

"Brilliant." I sighed and ran a sweaty hand through my hair. "And thanks, by the way, for waking me up. I'd never have expected it from you, Jamie."

He grinned and then stiffened immediately, looking at me with wide eyes. I gazed back confusedly, until I realized what I'd just called him and clapped a hand to my horrible, _horrible_mouth.

"Did you just call me _Jamie_?" he laughed incredulously, taking a step toward me. I shook my head violently and screamed, "slip of tongue!" from behind my hand, but he could barely understand me. He pulled my hand away from my mouth and stepped toward me once more. I backed up against a wall, my eyes shocked and my entire being crumbling to pieces.

I had called Potter _Jamie_.

"It's all Sirius' fault!" I shouted in a desperate attempt to regain my dignity. "He said your name that way, it got stuck in my head, and I was delirious so I was too _confused _to be myself—"

"You're constantly rambling," James said, now so close to me I could glimpse the gold flecks in his hazel eyes. "A waste of time, in my opinion." He stepped forward again.

"Back off, Potter," I said sharply, becoming very uncomfortable with our close proximity. He ran a hand through his hair and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"Never mind," I muttered, then stalked down the hall, embarrassed by my name slip-up and my crazy daydream.

Daydream.

I had danced with POTTER?

"And you're a horrible dancer!" I shouted to Potter from over my shoulder, leaving him bewildered and utterly confused.

Later after recounting my story, my friends had only one thing to say: "Denial, clear as day."

* * *

Lily's finally getting somewhere.

Review! Think about the wonderful feeling it'll give you of making someone's day.

Till next time, thou wonderful readers,

-.x.


	8. Proposition

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: *Singing* I don't own it, never will.

Sorry, this chapter took a little longer to write. Review as always, please!

* * *

"I'm officially freaked out," James said as he plopped down next to me on the bench.

"I can't help but agree," I said solemnly, looking down the Gryffindor table to see our usual batch of friends whispering and hissing in furious voices. They seemed to be having a very heated argument, and every now and then they would glance our way. We looked back bemusedly, completely befuddled.

"Any idea why _my_ marauders and _your_friends seem to be arguing...about us?" James asked curiously.

"I think I have an idea, but it's so absurdly odd that it _definitely_couldn't be so," I grumbled. Alice and Marlene had repeatedly hounded me on the "denial clear as day" conclusion they'd made the night before. If I recall, they even came up with a song that went a little like this:

_"First, denial, the longest of all the trials. Second, anger, to which Evans is no stranger. Third, a bargain, to stay away again. Fourth, depression of the object of obsession. Acceptance comes along, the ending to this song, and look! Now you're falling in love."_

They had continued to sing the song on a loop, insistently out of tune, until I'd sent a banishing spell in their direction and locked the door the immediate moment they'd flown out of the Head common room. You gotta love magic, you really do.

James's voice pulled me back from my thoughts.

"Where's Goshawk?"

I found that a very good question, until I spotted her sitting upon Diggory's lap, wriggling playfully and giggling up a storm. I involuntarily gagged at this display of affection (open flirtation?) and hurriedly went back to my meal.

The other (conspiring?) friends also glanced Miranda's way, widened their eyes, and plunged into another discussion.

"They're plotting against us," James said amusedly as he watched our friends continue to whisper. Strangely, I found myself nodding in agreement once more.

"We're not the only ones they're plotting against," I responded grimly as the babbling group stared unabashedly at Miranda's current actions.

Pouring myself some pumpkin juice, I proceeded to scope out the dinner table. Despite everything I'd already eaten, my stomach was still complaining rather obnoxiously. Rice, check...soup? Check. I'd finished that already. Steak...damn, someone had taken that. What's a decent dinner without some healthy protein? It's not a decent dinner, I'll tell you that.

"Would you have any idea where the...oh, found it," I began saying to James, only to discover that he'd taken the steak platter already and was proceeding to deposit the last tidbits of deliciousness onto his already overflowing dinner plate.

"No!" I cried. "Mine!"

James cast me a quizzical glance. "Sorry, what?"

Past coherency, I just shook my head and insisted, "Mine." I then attempted to yank the platter out of James's hands, finally succeeding after a semi-violent tug.

"Don't grab something, it's impolite," James admonished. I rolled my eyes.

"And you would know about manners with your expert experience," I muttered darkly, scraping the steak onto my plate.

"You have to know something in order to hate it," James said proudly.

"Meh. Whatever. I wasn't being rude - _you _were. You were holding the food hostage!"

"And I was supposed to know you wanted the steak _how?_" James asked incredulously.

"I said I wanted it!"

"Er, no, you said 'mine'. Twice."

I sniffed haughtily. "Well, you ought to have known that I wanted the steak - "

" - because I can read your mind?" James cut in. "And don't take all of it, leave some for me, I _did _have it first - " he continued, tugging the platter out of my grip.

"Who's being impolite now?" I scoffed. I was content, though. My efforts to get to the steak had been well worth it. The house elves had done an _exceptionally _good job with the food tonight.

"Meh," James responded, proceeding to attack the mountains of food on his dinner plate. "Manners are for morons."

* * *

It took the combined strength of Marlene, Alice, and I to shove Miranda into the armchair in the Gryffindor common room. I conjured iron shackles that bound her to the piece of furniture and she glared up at us, her pupil in her blue eye slowly dilating.

"Good thing I disarmed you," I said casually, twirling her ebony wand in my hand.

A low growl emitted from Miranda's throat.

"Now, cooperate, Randy," Marlene said sweetly. " 'Cause you're not gonna go until you give us some answers."

"Honestly, you should have been expecting this," Alice said, shaking her head. "Do you really think that we'd be oblivious enough to not notice how much time you've been spending with Diggory?"

"Perhaps," I started, "I should tell you about your little romp with Diggory in the hallways yesterday."

"It was just a bit of satisfying snogging!" Miranda cried, all blood disappearing from her already pale face.

"Satisfying shagging, whatever," Alice said with a wave of her hand. "Give us the dirt, and now, unless you want to see what it feels like to handle the wrath of all three of us."

"I can do wandless magic," Miranda threatened, however feebly.

"Barely. I saw your attempt the other day- you've been making astounding progress, but I still don't think you can take on the three of us."

Miranda shook her head infinitesimally, but didn't say a word.

A voice spoke up from behind me.

"Evans! Flower girl, whatever, budge up, will you?"

Eva crashed down onto the couch with me, rudely sitting on my hand. She felt extremely bony and I could see that a few of her limbs were jutting out more than usual. Deciding to ignore this since I knew that she would just lash out at me for attempting to care once more, I scooted over and tried to turn back to the chained Miranda.

"I've got a proposition for you, girl," Eva hissed in my ear.

"What are you, a cowboy?" I retorted. "Who uses "proposition" in a sentence like that?"

"Ignoring that, I'm sure you've noticed that James and I are becoming closer everyday." She smiled wickedly at me.

"I'm sorry, but I don't really put my nose into everybody's social lives. Just get on with whatever you say; I'm in a situation right now."

Eva wagged a thin finger at me, her manicured nail threateningly sharp. "No need to be rude, darling. Just listen for a sec and I'll leave you alone."

She stared into my eyes maliciously and I glared back.

"I have a bet, of sorts. Something that'll help out _both _of us."

Alice and Marlene had caught on to our conversation and were not-so-subtly eavesdropping.

"It's Hogwarts _history_that you utterly despise James Potter. So what's a better way to get rid of him than leading him on?"

Eva sneered as I narrowed my eyes. I could see where this was going. Out of the corner of my eye, I could_also_see Miranda- the chains had somehow began to snake around her, unwrapping themselves and letting her free. There was a determined gaze in her eye.

"Of course, this isn't going to be just for _your_benefit. I thought that I'd just speed things up between James and myself. Perhaps, a little competition would be sufficient in this situation," Eva continued.

I stared skeptically. "So, in summary, you want us to compete for James, and if I win, he'll discover that I'm leading him on and he won't ever bother me again. And if you win, you get the guy, and he won't ever bother me again."

"You got it. So what's your deal, then, Evans? It's the opportunity of a lifetime."

I knew that. I so, _totally_knew that.

"_Define, James Potter: A total, arrogant prat who is set out on making Lily Evans' (see, Evans, Lily) life a total miserable hell. A total, arrogant prat who issues pranks, breaks rules, and passes classes with no effort at all. A total, arrogant prat who drives aforementioned Lily Evans out of her mind. The Total Arrogant Prat that changes in the 7th year of Hogwarts, and a boy, a certain Lily Evans can't deny, that does not need the worst heart-break of his life."_

As I ran through that self-made definition in my head, I knew what choice I was going to make. And from the looks of it, so did Alice, Marlene, and Miranda. Alice and Marlene were ecstatic; however, Miranda's look was stony and cold.

"No can do, buckaroo," I said snappishly to Eva.

She gaped at me.

Slowly, ever so slowly, her eyes became malevolent and her grin became a snarl.

"Listen, _bitch_," she emphasized. I widened my eyes. "Potter is _mine_, and nothing on this earth will change that fact. Nobody can deny the chemistry we have!"

"Keep on dreaming, Kimble," I rolled my eyes.

"You're just _jealous_," Eva hissed. I ignored her, but a sudden outburst distracted me.

"C'mon, Lily. You and I both know that this is the opportunity you've been _waiting_for," Miranda said, finally free of the chair and clattering over to me, the shackles still encircling her wrists. "You've hated Potter for ages. Take the chance! It's your ultimate revenge on everything he's ever done to you."

Everybody looked shocked. Miranda stared defiantly at the rest of us and said, "Well, it's the truth! There's no denying it! Wouldn't it just make life easier if there weren't airheads floating around our existences?"

I gazed long and hard in Miranda's eyes and she returned this action. It was a long battle between black, blue, and emerald green- but then I broke the connection.

"I don't know why you're being so huffy all of a sudden," I said snippily toward Miranda. "I don't know what has gotten into you about Potter and the rest of the Marauders. I know that they can be jerks, but it's mostly all in good humour. In my opinion, only the worst deserve that sort of heartbreak."

Eva looked astonished. She glanced at me, furious, and flipped me the bird before stalking off to Jane, who was impatiently tapping her foot.

There was an odd silence that settled around Miranda, Marlene, Alice and I.

"Why'd you go and be so up-ish about Lily and James?" Alice asked Miranda.

Miranda looked fiercely at me. "I don't know why, Lily, but suddenly you're changing. You've always hated James Potter, to his very core. And suddenly you're acting all chummy- it's...different!"

"I thought that you _liked_ difference, Miranda," I said coldly. I was getting really frustrated by her moodiness. "Weren't you delighted at the future 'romance' Potter and I could 'potentially' hold? You seem to be changing just as much as the times. I know you've never liked the Marauders, but seriously, you've been acting _horrid_toward them! If it's just a personal problem, don't go letting your anger out on anybody else! Nobody wants to stand your - "

There was a flash of bright light, and a searing pain on my arm.

I never finished that sentence.

* * *

Obviously, Miranda had been in a mood the entire day, and my defiance had just riled her up. I sighed, glancing at the clock in the hospital wing- I had been here for two hours, Madame Pomfrey treating the burns I got from the explosion of wandless magic Miranda sent at me.

"You okay, Lily?" I heard a voice say quietly from the door.

"Hey, James," I said, sitting up and flinching when the burn on my arm rubbed against the pillow.

He took several long strides and reached the side of my cot. "Here," he said, handing me a bar of milk chocolate. "It was Remus' chocolate, but he said you could have it. You probably need it more than he does."

He handed me the bar and I took it gratefully with a hesitant smile. For a second, James flinched again, like how he had when I had looked at him after we had received the detention. Passing him an odd look, I took a thoughtful bite of the chocolate.

"You know," I said, mouth full of heavenly sweetness, "you should watch out for yourself."

James glanced at me quickly and said, "What did I do now?"

"Nothing, and that's the problem," I said. "Just don't trust everybody who comes across your path."

"I'm listening. Are you warning me?"

"You bet it."

There was a beat of silence, and then James awkwardly rose from the seat next to my bed.

"Well, I'll see you tonight if you get any better," he said, leant over, and pecked me quickly on the cheek.

I flushed bright red and said shakily, "Thanks for the chocolate. See you, J-James."

I was about to rest my head and calm my nerves when Marlene and Alice exploded into the Hospital Wing.

"Lily!" cried Alice.

"Evans!" Marlene sniggered.

Alice and I both shot her an annoyed glance.

"Where's the bomb?" I said, referring to Miranda.

"She's upstairs in the dormitory, worried sick but refusing to visit you," Alice said. "Sometimes she worries me."

"She isn't the only person you should be worried about," I grumbled.

Alice and Marlene both came to my side and sat on either side of my bed.

"She explained...some things to us," Marlene hesitated.

"I already know part of it," I told them.

"How much?" Alice inquired.

"Enough to get the sense that Miranda is playing with both Diggory and Black's affections," I said. "And it's completely unfair. We all know she can act slaggy-"

"Especially at the best of times," Marlene muttered.

" - but this is _way_too much," I said, ignoring Marlene's interruption. "There's still one thing I don't understand. So Sirius likes her, alright, and she obviously has some sort of emotion toward him that's different - but did something happen that made them truly hate each other? They've been even more angry than usual tonight."

"Oh? So you didn't hear?" Marlene chuckled. "It happened hours ago. It's a wonder it hasn't reached your ears yet."

"Well maybe it's because my close friends completely forgot to tell me," I snapped. "Inform me now, before I implode from anticipation."

"After charms," Alice started, "Sirius cornered Miranda in the dungeons."

"Where was I when this happened?"

"I think you were somewhere, sometime," Marlene said with a wave of her hand. "If I remember correctly, you fell asleep in History of Magic. James stayed back to wake you up." She passed me a wicked grin. "And what sort of 'waking up' methods did he use?"

"It was an entirely innocent, if not annoying, prod of the arm," I said with a haughty sniff. "Continue, please."

"Well," Alice went on, "Sirius somehow conjured an army of birds—you know how the Marauders are, especially with their transfiguration, I think he made them out of the crumpled balls of paper on the floor—and sent them flying at Miranda."

I gasped, then groaned. "I should've known! He asked me about that charm this morning. But that doesn't explain everything—they were acting all dramatic since ages ago."

"That's just regular pent-up sexual tension, and nothing else," Marlene said. "You know how they are. They aren't satisfied unless they've got a good love-hate relationship. And I also heard that Black 'accidentally' walked in on Miranda and Diggory going at it like rabbits in an empty classroom."

"Eugh. That's disturbing," I shuddered.

"But still, Lily, you've got more to think about than that," Alice warned. "Eva's still on the rampage and I have a feeling she's going to do some damage. And since the burn paste isn't working nearly as fast as it should, you're probably going to have to stay the night."

"That's alright," I yawned. "The house elves will bring me breakfast tomorrow. Just tell James that I'm not going to be in the Head dorms tonight, okay? He can stop by again if he likes."

"Again?" Marlene raised a suggestive eyebrow. I felt the good ol' blush creep up my cheeks.

"Stop it," I groaned. "Curfew's in 10 minutes—you better hurry."

"Get better, my pretty!" Marlene giggled as she dragged Alice through the doors.

I sighed. When did life get so conflicted? I had an upset, two-timing best friend, a extremely angry girl-with-bad-intentions snapping at my heels, and a night of tolerating burns. And, last and most definitely not least, a confusing James Potter that was slowly, ever so slowly taking over every crevice of my mind.

* * *

A/N:

Hokay. There was that chapter; many conflicts and developments ahead.

To iMaj Enn, who reviewed "Top" Secrets and asked some questions: Miranda could or could not be an actual canon character by J.K. Rowling. I got her name from the books—you know the writer of all the Standard Books of Spells? That's Miranda Goshawk. But then again, I'm also in love with the name Miranda. It's got some meaning in my life...and, also, to answer your other question, Nutshells is nowhere near done. "Top" Secrets was just a little one-shot I came up with and turned out successful, so I posted it on Fanfiction. Thanks for the good review, by the way! Warms my heart.

I'll be updating my other LJ multi-chaptered fic, too. It's called So Wrong, It's Right. Of course, you can find it under my stories. They're a collection of one-shots, varying from humor to angst, based on an album by my favorite band, All Time Low.

Thanks! Review!

-.x.


	9. Misconstruing Actions

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter! Why! You're not my property.

A/N: You know the drill. Read, review. There. I just drilled it in a bit more.

* * *

I was quite surprised this afternoon when, after lunch and during our break, James came barreling through the halls.

"Whoa, whoa! STOP, James, stop for once in your life!" I hollered at him.

He stopped.

His hair was a disaster, as if the very wind itself had thrown a wild frat party on his head; his tie was awry and his glasses were crooked and slowly sliding down his nose. His shirt was half-un-tucked and he'd never looked more frenzied before.

His appearance, somehow, got me extremely hot and bothered; I fought to hold down a blush.

"LILY!" he roared.

"What?" I demanded. "Take it easy! If you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of the hallway. It's not a very good place to start a shouting match."

"Speak for yourself," he snarled. "How many times have you done that in decades past?"

"That's exaggerating," I retaliated. "We've only been here for seven years."

"Semantics," James cut in, "but that's beside the point. What the _hell_are you doing here? The meeting's supposed to start in three minutes!"

"Prefect's Meeting?" I said, my tone flat and my eyes wide.

"_No_, the inter-house chess championship meeting."

I stared at him blankly, and he let out an exasperated sigh.

_Oh_. So he was being _sarcastic_.

"YES, the Prefect's meeting, and we're LATE!"

I nearly screamed and grabbed James roughly by the arm; together, we sprinted up toward the third floor, coming crashing into the Prefect's lounge. I tried my best to halt to a stop, but James ended up crashing into my back. The confused students drank in our ruffled appearances, scrutinizing our compromised positions. Wild eyed and gasping for breath, I managed to choke out, "Alright." _Heave, gasp, sigh_. "Let's start-" _cough_"-the meeting."

The prefects stared at us disbelievingly.

Desperately straightening my sweater and fixing my collar and skirt, I went to sit down in one of the head chairs with as much dignity as I could muster. However, a faint swish of a wand through air was heard and my chair slipped right out from underneath me.

I hit the floor with a loud _thud,_ banging my head on the chair's edge. Letting out a sigh of frustration and rubbing my tailbone ruefully, I growled, "Who the hell did that immature little stunt? I swear, I'll grind you to_pieces_."

"...what she means, of course, is that actions like that aren't acceptable," James interrupted, covering up my outburst. "Really, I don't see why somebody would do that in the middle of a meeting, seeing as everybody here's able to give out detentions." He helped me back up and politely moved my chair back to its original place.

"Thanks," I said quietly, blushing at my indecency.

"No problem," James responded. He had an eyebrow raised in a cocky fashion, and a smirk was beginning to appear on his face. Holding back a scowl, I conjured up a scroll of parchment, ink, and a Quick-Quotes Quill, my favorite secretarial utensil. They hovered in midair, poised to take the meeting's notes.

"Alright. So, several matters to address..."

_PREFECT'S MEETING NOTES_

_Taken by the honorable_

_QUICK QUOTES QUILL_

_Of_

_LILY EVANS._

_Matters discussed: Inter-house relations, improved facilities, school theater possibilities (? Likely not possible, after the Disaster), patrol schedules, and extra-curricular opportunities (i.e., tutoring, extra flying lessons, popular activities with unofficial clubs)_

_10/1/78_

_Lily Evans: Alright. So, several matters to address...at our meeting last month, we came up with several ideas that we'd like to discuss today. I wrote them down right...here...aha! *reads off* 'Patrols, oncoming goals, and...rules.' Wow, we really didn't do much on the train, did we?_

_James Potter: I think it was enough. So, I know that as the collected students of the Hogwarts houses, you all have ideas of what you'd like to start or continue this year. So, instead of spouting off ideas with the lot of us, how 'bout you go into groups? You can write a list of possibilities...Lily? Could you conjure up more parchment and ink?_

_*Swish*_

_James Potter: Thanks. Alright, get to work...groups of four, and don't just group with your house! Spread out._

_-Interlude-_

* * *

The meeting was already halfway over, and I think I was about to faint. Again.

Potter was acting _insanely_ mature, even more responsible than _me_, the epitome of "snarky, prissy prefect perfection" (as quoted by Sirius Black).

So, because of his wonderful acts of maturity, I sidled up to him with an arched eyebrow and a smirk present on my face. He glanced at my expression and raised his own eyebrows, a glint of mischief appearing.

"You look evil," he stated bluntly.

"Not evil," I countered, "just curious. Did you read a manual or something? Last year you were bombing the girl's dormitories and sticking chicken feathers all over the walls. Now, or at least at the moment, you're the epitome of Head Boy-ship."

James grinned. "Who said that I wasn't still bombing the girl's dormitories and exploding chickens?"

"If that's a confession, think yourself as good as done. Alice and Marlene woke up with feathers all over their faces this morning."

"Mm. What a coincidence."

I shot him a withering look, but he merely grinned.

"If you think so highly of me right now, would you mind answering a question?" James asked.

"Can't say whether I mind. It's got to be whether or not I _like_the question."

"Well, there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up..."

Unawares, I had a sharp intake of breath and my heart began pounding, blood rushing to my ears and making that accursed blush flame up around my face and neck. Was he really, _really_going to ask me out for the first time since the year started?

And was I ready with my usual witty comment and biting rejection?

I could answer myself on that one. I was most definitely unprepared.

"Lily? Lily!"

Ooh, voices. Talking to me. I tuned in once more.

"Ehh...what?"

"I _said_, I was wondering if we could find a time where we can discuss the next Hogsmeade visit. You know, since that's sort of our job."

_How __**irk**__some,_I thought to myself, air whistling through my teeth as I let out a long-suffering sigh.

"Yeah. Tomorrow's alright with me."

"Perfect," he responded, flashing a white-toothed grin at me. I grimaced back, the blush slowly receding from my face. However, seemingly, not fast enough.

"You're extremely red, Lily."

"Oh really? I haven't noticed," I responded dryly.

"...well then, why is that?"

"Why is what?"

"Why are you blushing?"

"Was I blushing?" I said, purposefully avoiding the topic of sentence.

But my efforts were not enough alone, seeing as comprehension struck James and his expression swiftly became none other than sadistic.

"_You_thought I was going to ask you out, didn't you?"

I gulped, and tried to skip my high-pitched lying voice. I ended up with a voice that shot two levels down, a distinct alto compared to my regular pitch.

"No, I was wondering...about...ants."

Quite a lie, if I do say so myself.

"I-I mean, _antics_, of course. The antics that Miranda's getting herself into at the moment."

I had actually not talked to Miranda for the entire day, and quite frankly didn't care a bit about what she was doing at the moment. I was still angry with her.

He looked at me skeptically and said, "Stop lying to yourself, Lilykins. Now, I have another question for you- if I _had_asked you out, what would you have said?"

"I wouldn't have said anything, but done the polite-rude thing and turned away from you to attempt not speaking a word to you for the rest of the meeting. Then nobody's feelings would get hurt."

"You would've said _yes_."

"No, I never said that; I wouldn't have said _yes_, but yet I wouldn't have said no, either. It's a win-win situation."

"It's a loss for you, Lily, face it. In the long run you _know_, somehow, that I always win, even if I have to drill it into your 'thick skull'."

He poked at my head playfully.

"Shut it, Potter. You're coming awfully close to the cliff's edge, and I'm more than happy to push you off," I growled.

"So it's _Potter_again, isn't it, Evans?"

I scowled and childishly turned my back on him, arms crossed, letting out a huff and blowing my fringe out of my eyes. James laughed good-naturedly.

Seeing this laugh as an immediate end to our banter, I called out to the Prefects, resettled my Quick Quotes Quill on the parchment, and called the meeting to attention.

* * *

_-Prefect's Meeting, 10/1/78—_

_Lily Evans: Alright, lot! Let's get started. Hand the lists to me- I'll mix them up and read the ideas._

_Kelly O' Malley: Will you be offended if we said something as a joke? You know, not a serious idea._

_Lily Evans: Don't worry. Contrary to popular belief, I actually do have a sense of humor._

_James Potter: Actually, I don't think that's very likely._

_(Laughs from collected crowd)_

_Lily Evans: You shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you._

_James Potter: And how exactly would you go about doing that, my dear flower?_

_(Distant thundering, coming distinctly from Lily Evans' direction)_

_James Potter: Never mind, then. Let's not go off-tangent again, shall we?_

_Lily Evans: Best idea you've had all afternoon. Now, 'Ivy, Jacob, Theresa, and Collin' came up with several ideas. Care to read, James?_

_James Potter: Let's see...'extra flying lessons for those who need them,'...namely, Lily..._

_(Laughs from collected crowd)_

_Lily Evans: I'd appreciate it if you stopped poking fun of my person._

_James Potter: Poking? I've always loved that word._

_(James Potter leans over, pokes Lily Evans)_

_Lily Evans: Stop._

_James Potter: No._

_(Poke)_

_(Poke)_

_(Poke)_

_(Explosion)_

_James Potter: Yeah. We're off tangent again._

_Lily Evans: Let me see that list! 'flying, tutoring...inter-house groups and relations.' Excellent! We'll elaborate on that last one later._

_James Potter: Now, 'Kelly, Remus, Gideon, and Dorcas' came up with..."Quidditch, facilities, community projects, and weekly orgies.' Nice._

_(Group snickers. Lily Evans unexpectedly smirks)_

_Lily Evans: I admire your creativity. Congratulations, Gideon and Dorcas- I'm thinking that you came up with that wonderful final idea?_

_Dorcas Meadowes: It'd be fun, wouldn't it, Lily? And think about James._

_(Group snickers)_

_Lily Evans: No idea what the hell you're talking about, Meadowes._

_James Potter: 'Elizabeth, Xenophilius, Julie and Wendell' suggested additional clubs for activities like gobstones and exploding snap, organized field trips - there's an idea!, establishment of a theater club -_

_Lily Evans: Uh, maybe not, guys. Remember what happened last year with The Fountain of Fair Fortune?_

_(collective shudder)_

_Remus Lupin: Didn't Kettleburn lose an arm from that?_

_Jillian Lewis: Oh, the fire burned Eva Kimble's eyebrows off! That was a sight._

_James Potter: What a shame, her eyebrows are fairly lovely._

_Lily Evans: (snorts) How can eyebrows possibly be lovely?_

_James Potter: You tell me. You seem to have quite a lovely pair of eyebrows. Among other lovely pairs._

_(laughter)_

_Lily Evans: I will slap you._

_James Potter: Go ahead, I'm all yours._

_Lily Evans: Some of you mentioned inter-house relations. Groups, of course, can be applied to that, but I also was thinking about maybe having a dance -_

_(squeals)_

_James Potter: No. Bad idea._

_Lily Evans: Fine then, Debbie Downer. What's your excellent idea?_

_James Potter: Maybe a competition for school spirit, some more individual and collective house support? There are all sorts of...er...spirit-y things possible -_

_Lily Evans: Who wants a dance?_

_(Count: 18 out of 24)_

_James Potter: Inter-house competition? There are all sorts of excellent possibilities for that, you know._

_Lily Evans: Don't go promoting your idea, market-man._

_Ivy Prescott: Can we vote for both?_

_James Potter: Go ahead._

_(Count: 16 out of 24)_

_Lily Evans: Maybe both activities. They seem like they'd be pretty well recieved._

_James Potter: We'll look over some more lists next week, 'kay? You can try brainstorming a bit more too. Lily, would you take note of the lists on the parchment?_

_Lily Evans: Sure thing. I'll put it under 'Matters Discussed'._

_-End-_

* * *

I gulped and shook my head frantically. I had just _flirted_with Potter during the prefect's meeting, against my will. Or perhaps it had been instinct? But my flushed face and agitated feelings were pestering me. I decided to catch up with Remus and James who were a few steps ahead of me.

"Hey Lily," Remus greeted politely.

"Lils!" James cried, throwing an arm around my shoulder which I immediately shrugged off.

"Do you know who pulled my chair out from underneath me?" I asked Remus, ignoring James who was pretend-sulking in between us.

Remus pondered this for a moment. "I'm not sure, but I think it was Jillian."

I quickly defined Jillian in my head.

"Jillian: ex-best friend of Eva Kimble, the Bitch of Witches. Sucks up, gossips, lies, and will do anything to attract attention. Not very intelligent, but scheming."

Uh oh.

"Bloody bitch," I said dirtily. "Why the hell did she do that?"

"You know how she likes to suck up to Eva Kimble," Remus said rationally. "And, no offense...but..."

"Spit it out, Moony," James said, insinuating himself back into the conversation.

"Tell me what this looks like to you: two 17-year olds, one male, one female, mussed hair, un-tucked shirt, crooked glasses and messy skirt."

_Uh oh._

"Wow. It really looked like we had a broom closet escapade?"

"Not to mention that you two were holding hands," Remus added.

I groaned and struggled not to fall to the floor in my current misery.

"Also, and forgive me if I'm wrong, you were _flirting_. During the meeting. _Openly,_" Remus emphasized.

This time I did, fall to the floor in my agony.

Oh, what would become of me, the hypothetical Potter-stealing broom closet snogger?

Lily the Closet Slag. It had a nice ring to it. Maybe I could put in on business cards in the near future.

* * *

Tell me how you like the chapter. Review it! By the way, I'm very proud of myself for my "pairs" joke up there.

Admit it. Pretty funny.

-.x.


	10. Depth and Disaster

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Mm, mm, NOT MINE.

A/N:

Sorry that I've kept you waiting for a while- I've got several good ideas, I just didn't know how to put them into words. Therefore I've been lazing around Fanfiction, reading but not writing...call it a hiatus, if you wish.

This chapter gets a little more serious. I thought Lily should have more...depth to her life, since she grew up to be such an amazing person. Here's the introduction to Lily's slow contact with the dark, sinister world outside where a creepy anorexic albino with red eyes and a paranoid ability to speak with snakes will come into play.

Well, enjoy!

* * *

My head was spinning and my thoughts were jumbled as I flopped clumsily onto my four poster bed. Trying to comprehend what I had just witnessed, I carefully sorted the many shouts and exclamations in my head and tried to come up with logical reasoning.

'Cause that's what Lily Evans was, right? Logical.

Totally, completely, sane.

I had walked through the portrait hole alone, on account that Remus and James had taken a walk down to the "library." I presumed they were trying to impress me and at the same time subtly sneaking off to break some rules. I respected that, I guess; at least they were continuing their "Marauding" hidden from the public eye.

Imagine my surprise when I walk straight into a soap opera-esque scene, complete with the consoling friends and the sadistic blonde who _everybody _thinks is an angel sent straight from the Garden of Eden.

This time, the consoling friends were, list:

-Jillian Lewis (not a surprising factor) and

-Miranda Goshawk. MY MIRANDA.

I blinked once, trying to make the horrible hallucination disappear. However, I was forced to believe it wasn't a dream after pinching myself repeatedly and blinking rapidly, so fast that the images before me slowly started to seem vaguely similar to the style of stop-motion animation.

Eva Kimble, the current garden sprinkler (salty tear version!), looked up from the palms of her hands in which her face was covered. Her eyes were puffy and the mascara she had so meticulously applied was streaking down her cheeks. She looked vulnerable.

And I knew, for once, I had nothing to say to her. And maybe, just a little, I held about a cubic millimeter of pity for Kimble; it was odd feeling so emotional and torn at the time. But I still had enough space left in me to hear the echoing shouts of betrayal and to see the slowly red-tinted scene before me as I looked at Miranda, doing her best to comfort Eva.

I sighed, shook my head as if shaking my feelings out. I decided to quickly hurry past the sobbing/comforting girls on the common room couch and to sit down in the far corner and get out my books to study. Just like I had planned to do. Soon enough more students would filter into the place; Alice and Marlene were bound to come around sometime, right?

But obviously this plan didn't work. I took the first step and felt a bone-crushing force enclosing my wrist and twisting me violently until my arm was bent backwards and my face was contorted in pain. An indignant shriek was emitted from my captor, who was no other than Eva herself. Floods of tears still streaming out of her eyes, she screamed in my ear so loudly my eardrums felt like they were vibrating and on the brink of explosion.

"YOU NASTY FUCKING _WHORE_! YOU _KNEW! _YOU CHEATING STUCK-UP BITCH! HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU?"

The tears were coming more steadily now.

All I could stutter out was a, "Erm, I'm afraid I don't-"

"You _know_ what you did, Lily _Evans_. He's mine, he's got my CLAIM written all over him! You're stealing! You're nothing but a dirty thoughtless slag, a shallow self-absorbed PRAT!"

"It's nice to know you think so highly of me," I muttered. I swore I could hear a chuckle behind her, but it might've been my imagination.

"You SNOGGED James Potter! You stole him right out of my hands, and you're nothing but a _filthy thief!_"

"Calm down, Eva," I said calmly, trying to issue out mellow vibes. "I most definitely did _not _snog James Potter. I'd have to have pretty horrible taste to do that."

Eva raised an eyebrow.

"Don't turn that statement on me," I said before she could interrupt. "Seriously, there is _nothing_ going on between James and me at the moment. Actually, correction: ever. We are _friends_, in a _purely platonic relationship_. And what you _thought _was snogging-" I turned my gaze to Jillian Kringle, who coloured visibly-"-was actually the effect of running several flights of stairs and being late to a Prefects' meeting I _forgot _about because I was too busy thinking about the pudding we had for lunch. Understand?"

She eyed me for a moment, then sniffed. Sniffed again, then turned on her heel (slapping me with her outlandishly long hair and elbowing me roughly in the stomach) and stormed out of the room into the girls' dormitories. Jillian Lewis followed her up the stairs, her head bowed forward, still flushed red. Miranda stared at me, her eyes cloudy and unreadable.

"You thought Jillian was telling the truth, didn't you?" I asked Miranda stonily.

"It's not like it's unbelievable," Miranda said.

And at that moment Miranda's betrayal sunk in. It was a slap in the face, a stab in the back, the utmost insult. Miranda thought me low enough to use a guy's affections for a quick snog and forget. Miranda _knew _me. She knew my nuances, my habits, my guilty pleasures, my faults and my perfections - but apparently she didn't know me well enough.

I stared at her, gaping for a moment. Turning on my heel too, I stormed out of the Gryffindor common room, heading for the Head dorms, the terrible lump in my throat growing as I choked the tears back.

* * *

"Lily, your life has turned into this book," Marlene said, looking up from her latest violently pink trashy romance novel.

Sadly, I couldn't disagree- I was dealing with a betrayal, a Queen Bee, and a confusing guy all at the same time.

"My life needs to gain depth," I said sadly, slumping onto the couch. I was back in the common room and had recited the entire event that happened previously; they had both tittered disapprovingly and decided to console me in their special ways.

They weren't doing so great.

"That's it!" Alice exploded. I stared at her with a funny face, not comprehending her sudden epiphany.

"What's it?" Marlene sat up a little straighter.

"Lily's life right now is like the baby pool. She needs to take a plunge into the deep end," Alice said happily. "And obviously, we all have too much time on our hands, and we can work out a plan like this."

"What's the plan?" I said, feigning interest.

"We're going to create something," Alice said boldly. "With the aid of whoever we need. We could even consult Dumbledore on it if necessary. Or," Alice said, raising an eyebrow in my direction, "we could ask for aid from the Marauders."

"Are you suggesting some sort of immature little _club_? Like chess? Come on, Alice, the idea's a waste," Marlene snubbed.

"I think she has a point," I said, my feigned interest turning slowly to real interest. "All we have to do is find a serious issue to settle this thing over."

"I'll read the papers tomorrow," Alice said, a wave of her hand dismissing the conversation. "Don't worry, there's _bound_ to be something that'll give our lives meaning."

* * *

"I know you think we didn't _actually _go to the library."

"Oh, yes, amazing. You can read minds, James."

He laughed and ducked down to check the broom cupboard beside us. It was empty, and the action did not ruin the moment.

We were making our first patrols of the year, and they had gone more successfully then I had ever anticipated- James was entertaining me with his stories and adventures, and keeping my company in the dark, chilly hallways of Hogwarts. I, meanwhile, was finding this time a perfect situation to just listen and wind down. The day had been eventful, and this was the perfect way to relax.

"Wait a second," I said, putting a hold on our conversation. Running a little ways down the hallway, I picked up something gleaming silver on the ground. Looking closely at it, I saw that it was a locket, small and fine. While there was an intricately carved border around the pendant, it seemed normal and plain. I tucked it in my pocket; if the necklace was made of actual silver, then the owner would definitely be wanting it back.

"What's that?" James said, catching up with me.

"Something we can categorize as lost and found," I said absently. "Continue on with your story, then. Where did you actually go?"

"I don't know why you don't believe me, but I actually _was_in the library."

"If you were, then you were probably concocting an evil plan or something."

"I can't disagree with that," James sighed. "Am I really that predictable?"

"Even more so."

"Well, if you _really _wish to know, dearest flower, Remus and I were listing the different ways we could hook up Filch and Pince."

I gave him an admonishing look. "You all have way too much time on your hands."

"At least I'm not living a soap opera life," James teased. I froze in my steps.

"Who told you that?" I questioned suspiciously.

"Marlene," James said shamelessly. "She passed the hint that you're trying to give your life a little bit more meaning. I could help with that, you know," he said, doing the infamous double-eyebrow wiggle. I groaned and rolled my eyes, but he just laughed.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it. Something to distract me from Eva and Miranda, and you."

"Me?"

I hesitated before answering. Surely that hadn't come out of my mouth as well, right? I decided, then and there, to just tell James the straight-out truth.

"Well, you've changed."

James jokingly checked himself out. "Nice of you to notice," he teased.

"Oh, you know what I mean," I said, tapping him lightly on the nose. He looked a little bewildered.

"And if I don't know what you mean?" he asked slowly.

I tapped my own nose and giggled.

I noticed at that incredibly tense moment that we had been standing at the door of the Head's dorms for at least two minutes. With a breezy, "Goodnight," I entered the common room with what I sincerely hoped was a suave manner.

* * *

_I was running at full speed, my breath coming up in choked gasps and my legs turning into lead- bright flashes surrounded me at every angle and I desperately attempted to dodge and duck my way through the flurry of deadly curses._

_The castle lay in ruins before us. The walls that once held such a feeling of security, of safety, were completely obliterated and crumbling to dust as I took in the scarring image. Fire was blazing from open windows, shadows were screeching overhead- Hogwarts had turned into the setting for the darkest night terror._

_And there he was, pale and gleaming, ugly and so deadly, all red eyes and white limbs- hissing in that strange raspy baritone, looking upon the scene with nothing less than triumph in his eyes._

_He had won. Yet, here was I, running toward him, arm outstretched and wand at the ready-my soul screaming, my heart thudding, my consciousness slowly melting before my eyes..._

_The scene changed. _

_A warm, comforting voice that soothed my being, soft skin like velvet to the touch, and bright hazel eyes withholding unknown secrets and mischief. I drowned in the hazel; and he laughed good-naturedly, with a soft, soft, "See? I knew you'd always come around."_

I woke up in the dead of night, hyperventilating and clutching my stomach.

Dreams were dreams and nothing more, my mother had once told me. I touched my burning, sweaty forehead, knowing that being who I was, dreams would always be much more than bargained for.

* * *

A/N:

Review, as always! Tell me how I did on this chapter! Hopefully I'll update soon.

-.x.


	11. Beginnings and Middles

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: H-A-R-R-Y-P-O-T-T-E-R. What does that spell? J..

Enjoy this chapter, readers. I worked fairly hard on it because it's the beginning of several exciting things. Review, as always.

Bon appetit!

* * *

Shuddering out of a nightmarish hell, I came to, a pair of hazel eyes looming over my head.

It took me a minute to comprehend where I was, and why I was looking into two beautiful earthen-colored irises. Still a little out of it, I reached up and stroked the face in front of me, running pale fingers over the finely carved features, sculpted cheekbones, and gently caressing a pair of perfectly formed lips.

"Er...Lily?"

"GAH!"

He jumped nearly a foot in the air and I dove underneath my covers, my face flushing bright red. Why had I done that? Why had I listened to my stupid, stupid impulses? I felt like taking an anvil and dropping it from the ceilings above, directly to where I stood. Thinking about this, a little delusional still, I imagined the anvil dropping over and over, flattening me like a cartoon and then floating back up while I straightened out my comically flattened body.

"Er, Lily?"

I peeked out from behind my covers. I probably looked ridiculous, a pair of bright green eyes and a tomato red forehead protruding from billows and waves of white puffy sheets.

"Erm..._yes?_" My voice was hesitant, and the sound waves probably were absorbed by the feathery cushions surrounding my face. Luckily, though, James heard what I said.

Instead of acting like his usual suave self, he opened his mouth and closed it several times, giving me the image of a gaping fish (albeit, a good-looking one). (Wait, can fish be good-looking?).

Flushing bright red, he chose to mumble, "I'll wait for you outside," and stumbled his way out of the door.

Taking a moment to right the world so everything wasn't so topsy-turvy, I carefully hoisted myself out of bed, blinking when my vision blurred and blackened for a moment. Shaking my head as if to shake water out of my ears, I seemingly floated around the room, thoughts flashing through my head. Hazel eyes, defined cheekbones. Lightning and fallen turrets.

It was all too much to handle at once. Flinging myself out the door without exactly knowing what I was doing, I collapsed into a surprised James' arms and fainted.

It was only fifteen minutes later when I came to, James watching me nervously from the chair beside the fire. I noticed I was sprawled across the couch.

"I broke the faint pact," I said quietly.

He chuckled slightly, but there was a nervous edge to it. I could tell he was worried about my mental and physical state. I couldn't help but agree that the worrying was totally appropriate. I wasn't so confident about my current condition, either.

"Care to tell me why you fainted?" he inquired, his voice just as soft as mine had been.

"Maybe later," I said, stretching, staring into the flickering embers of the Head fire place.

"7th year is busy. There will be no later. Tell me now. I swear, Lily, I'm a very persistent person," he said. He arched an eyebrow and I sighed.

"I, of all people, should know that," I responded. "Remember the day I met you? I think you've been talking to me ever since, even if I jinxed you and ran away." I decided that I could trust James. He wouldn't tell

"Do you think-" I started off, but then a faint buzzing noise sounded against the window. Oddly enough, a snitch was hovering outside the window, tapping repeatedly at the glass panes.

"Sorry," James said. He eyed the odd little object for a moment before swinging the window open. There was a very faint creak as the rusted hinges gave way.

"James," I asked nervously. "Can snitches be jinxed?"

"Anything can be jinxed," James said gravely, watching the clearly charmed snitch zero in on the two of us. Suddenly, the snitch attacked me with an unexpected force, entangling itself in my morning hair. James rushed to help me, but I had managed to get the snitch out and clamped in my fist.

"Bugger," I said, as the snitch opened.

There, clearly inscribed in loopy, girlish cursive was several warning words.

_**You better watch out, Evans. If it's a competition, I'm going to win.**_

I had little doubt on who wrote the note. Furious, I tore the paper to bits, and left a bewildered James, taking long strides toward the direction of my dormitory.

Eva Kimble really needed to be taught a lesson.

* * *

I was all settled down, not a hair astray and my collar folded perfectly. I prudishly held my skirt as I sat down and wolfed down several mini waffles before looking up at James, who had taken the seat across from me. He was staring at me with an amused, if not slightly skeptical, gaze and I didn't know how to react.

I decided to ask the question that was nagging at my mind.

"Please, tell me why you were in my room last night," I snipped to James, who had been indulging himself on an early morning feast.

An echoing wolf whistle rang in my ears as Sirius Black took the seat next to James, making sly, innuendo-laced glances. "Getting it on last night, were you two? Wish I had been there to witness it!"

Thoroughly disturbed, I gagged. James actually turned tomato red and muttered, "Well, if you had been there, you just would've heard a lot of screaming."

There was utter silence in our portion of the table.

James broke the silence with a shocked, "Wow, _that_came out wrong."

Sirius cheered and clapped James on the back, causing him to double forward and nearly spill his morning pumpkin juice.

"Oh, you dirty-minded dog, he didn't mean it like that," I said sourly, swishing the leftover syrup around my plate.

Sirius waggled his eyebrows and James rolled his eyes. They were quite a sight.

Alice and Marlene came over, glanced at them, shrugged in unison, and sat down next to me. Miranda was nowhere to be found.

"Lily was screaming last night in her sleep," James was trying to explain to a smirking Sirius. His face was still slightly red, but he seemed to be recovering from his embarrassment.

"I was?" I asked, confused. I recalled my horrifying dream, and the series of images that had followed. Keeping back a shudder, I retained my blank expression.

"Yeah. You had a night terror or something, I heard you all the way across the hall. I came in and you were writhing around in your sheets and I couldn't wake you up, so I waited for the screaming to stop. You were quiet in a matter of minutes."

I remembered dreaming of him last night, too.

"Did...I ever wake up during that time?"

"Well, you opened your eyes after you calmed down. But a couple hours later the screaming started again. What happened?"

"Nothing," I responded a little too quickly. The joking manner surrounding our group of people had dissipated and been replaced with a gloomy, mysterious atmosphere. I didn't know what to make of my nighttime torture, but those hazel eyes that I had visualized had been so calming.

I couldn't quite place the feelings churning about in me, but I knew that if somebody had to be by my side during those nightmares, I'm pretty okay that it was James.

How strangely these feelings descend upon us, creeping into the corners of our minds, lining the edges of our hearts. I didn't know _what_was up with my emotions. However, I was positive that I was still too shaken, too confused, and definitely too delirious to process anything properly at the moment.

It being a Saturday, I had no other occupations as of now, and was lazing about the Gryffindor common room with Alice and Marlene. Marlene was painting her fingernails, charming each one as she went to make them spontaneously flicker and sparkle. When I gave her my opinion of them ("overly flashy"), she had stalked off into the corner, reached for her beauty spells book, and started figuring out the counter charm to remove them.

Alice and I were deep in discussion.

"I came up with an excellent idea for the club," I said excitedly.

"I'm happy to see you've made progress on the thought," Alice replied, sounding genuinely delighted. "What do you have in mind?"

I unfolded today's _Daily Prophet _to show her the alarming black and white headline: _**Mass Murder at Rowena's Glade: 18 Killed, Death Eaters Suspected.**_What followed was a fuzzy picture of homes and smoke, all foundations rubble. Fires still raged in corners of the photograph.

Alice shivered and her eyes clouded a bit; I had a feeling she would react this way.

"So?" she said, her throat closed-up.

"So, I was thinking we could form an anti-Death Eater organization," I whispered to her, anxious in my anticipation. I tried to gauge her reaction as I went on. "Because you _know_that Slytherins are probably already conspiring with You-Know-Who. And it's not like we're going to be going out and fighting those battles ourselves - it's just an idea, a support for the bright side."

Alice still looked wary of the idea. "Give me time to consider it, Lily. I don't think initiating a 'You-Know-Who Rebellion' club sounds like the sorta thing I had in mind. Why are you so aggressive? Why couldn't have it been, I don't know, gobstones, or something? Perhaps a friendly little pen pal group?"

"You're a wuss," I stated matter-of-factly. Alice raised her eyebrows.

"You're upset that I don't agree with you."

"Slightly," I admitted.

"Lily, the idea's wonderful, and it's noble and brave and all- but isn't it a bit, well, risky?"

I looked Alice tiredly in the eye. "Isn't _everything _we ever do risky?"

"Was that supposed to mean something?" Alice said blankly.

"Well, I was hoping you'd think I was deep and knowledgeable, and therefore would listen to my fabulous wit."

However, before she could respond, a 6th year boy had stumbled on the coffee table in front of us and had landed not-so-gracefully on the couch I was on. Quite surprised and blushing a bit, he straightened up and said, "Well! If you'll excuse me, lovely ladies, I have some important matters to address."

Alice and I stared off as the boy marched off toward the portrait hole, his face flaming in embarrassment.

"Ahh, Andrews. What a klutz," a voice spoke up from behind me. James's face was level with mine, since he was bending over the couch. Catapulting himself over the back of the couch and using it as a springboard, he landed next to me.

"Hello, James," I said stiffly, attempting to hide the Daily Prophet underneath a throw pillow. However, too late, James swiped the newsprint away from me. He examined the cover.

"Why would you ever keep this stored away underneath a pillow?" he asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Lily was considering it for a defense topic," Alice sighed without looking away from the fire. I passed her a furious glance; the Marauders were not supposed to know about this! Nobody else was supposed to even suspect it!

"Defense topic?" James asked, too curious.

I gave up and explained the anti-Voldemort support ideas I had. To my surprise, James actually took in what I was saying and gave it thoughtful consideration. He had a bold, strong look on his face as we discussed the matter. I had a feeling that this really was important to him.

"I like the idea," he said finally. "I think we should start as soon as possible."

I sent Alice a triumphant look. She ignored me.

"Alice doesn't agree," I pitched in.

"Prewett, c'mon," James wheedled. "You know it's for a good cause."

"We're only seventeen," she sighed. "We're still at Hogwarts. If we're going to begin this, right now, right here, then there has to be a directly related sign that will convince me that what we're going to do makes total sense."

"And I thought you were the logical thinker," James said, glancing at me. I shook my head fervently.

"I'll leave you two here, discussing your lovely death subjects," Alice said off-handedly. She stood up and joined Marlene, who was still working on her toes.

"Did you actually read this?" James asked quietly.

I nodded, feeling my head spin a little as I watched the burning flames flicker in both the newspaper picture and the fire in front of us.

Then something odd happened.

I felt a warmth move over my hand that was relaxing on the couch cushion; a rough warmth, encasing and enveloping, causing tingles to rush up and down my arm. In wonder, I stared at James's hand atop mine; tan skin covering pale, small fingers.

It was a little too much to handle. The feeling at my fingertips as his calloused hands entwined with mine, the strength and support that I could feel emanating from him, and his gaze, a gaze that was surely trained on me at the moment, anticipating my reaction with anxious, excited nerve. I avoided his stare and colored a little, and I could hear his low chuckle beside me.

"You're a right idiot," I muttered quietly.

"Yet, you still haven't killed me yet."

"Don't tempt me, Mr. Idiot. There's a strong possibility that I will, soon."

"I'll keep that in mind," James replied, his gentle hold on my hand tightening. I sighed.

* * *

Dinner had just ended, and I was walking back up to the tower with Marlene and Alice. I could see Miranda's figure ahead of us; she seemed almost shadow-like, and was very much alone. Every now and then she would glance back, her gaze holding surging remorse.

"I'll catch you guys later," I called to Marlene and Alice. "I need to return something."

I turned around and walked toward the hall where I had found the locket last night. Retracing my steps until I found the portrait of Og the Odd, I recalled that the locket had been near the Slytherin's common room. Shuddering in disgust, I walked in that direction, then tripped over a body that was crawling around on the floor, frantically searching for something.

"Sorry," I muttered, standing up and holding an arm out to the person on the ground.

He didn't accept my hand, and struggled to upright himself using the wall behind him. He was particularly scrawny with floppy black hair and familiar grey eyes. His features were refined and almost attractive, if not for the peaky look to his pale skin.

Regulus Black.

"That's mine," he said gruffly after a few seconds of silence.

Bewildered for a moment, I then realized that he was talking about the locket that was swinging from my wrist.

"Oh, really? I found it last night in this hall. Perhaps, it's what you were looking for just a few moments ago?" I inquired.

He gave me an odd, skeptical glance. "Please, give it _back_to me."

Feeling a little skeptical myself, I pressed on in order to determine whether or not the locket was his (he didn't seem the type for fine jewelry). "Do you have evidence that this locket is yours?"

He sighed, frustrated. A pucker appeared between his eyebrows. "Hand it back. Either that, or I'll have to take it out of your filthy hands before you contaminate it, Mudblood."

My vision turned red for a moment, and then I calmed. Picking up an icy tone, I responded, "I think I like your brother better."

Which really wasn't a compliment, because I thoroughly despised Sirius.

Though, right now, standing in the hallway with Regulus, I could see why Sirius was so spontaneously bitter when family matters came up; Regulus' eyes held a dark, hungry look, mixing with an odd element of something I couldn't quite recognize. Falsity? Hate veiled all other emotions. I knew Regulus' friends, if that's what he could call them. They skulked in shadows, formulating vicious plots and downgrading innocents. Right now, I was pretty convinced that next to his brother, Sirius was a saint.

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Oh, who cares about that blood traitor? Besmirching the family name, that's what Mum always says."

I got the drift that Regulus was talking to himself, but I couldn't help but let a tiny hiccup-giggle escape from my lips. _Besmirched_, I sniggered in my mind. What a funny word.

"Are you laughing?" cried Regulus, astonished.

"_Besmirched_," I giggled, muffling my nonsense with my hand. It seemed that I had a very extreme case of those always-awkward but never-ending church giggles.

Regulus rolled his eyes, but I swore I saw a glint of humor in them.

"You uncouth muggle-born Mudblood," he declared as he walked away.

"You're being redundant," I called to his retreating back.

After my unusual laughter subsided, I sat down and thought for a moment. Why did Regulus have a locket?

I think that it was about time that I consulted my "favorite" Black brother.

* * *

A/N:

I'm happy with this chapter, and like the author I'm supposed to be, have formulated something similar to a weak plot in my mind. Pride fills my being :)

I'm not going to be updating for another three weeks, maybe four :( Blame camp and vacation. However, as soon as I'm free, I'll attempt to whip something up just to satisfy appetites (however, I truly apologize if it ends up being horrible).

Review, as always, and have a great summer!

-.x.


	12. Riddle Me This

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Not mine, no, no, no...

A/N:

Enjoy, and review, like always. It makes me feel better.

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Sirius repeated for what seemed like the fifteenth time. "My brother, by accident, dropped a priceless Black family artifact, you happened to pick it up, and you didn't tell me _first_?"

"How was I supposed to know that it was a family treasure?" I said indignantly. "But that's beside the point."

"Actually, Evans, it _is _the point. My brother's the good son; he's not going to go dropping age-old silver necklaces in Hogwarts halls. That necklace should probably be in our Gringotts safe. He has it for a reason," Sirius explained darkly.

"I'm not sure," I faltered.

"You're not his brother. You don't know. He's faithful to...the family beliefs. He'll do anything to please them."

"Are you trying to tell me that you think your brother is working for the Death Eaters?"

Sirius considered this, his gray eyes clouding over with an unreadable emotion. "It could be true."

We both fell silent. James, who was watching over the conversation concernedly, chose this moment to speak up.

"Don't jump to conclusions, Sirius," James warned, clearly treading on thin ice with this subject. "Who knows- maybe Regulus isn't as bad as you thought."

"Or maybe he's worse," Sirius muttered, standing up abruptly and leaving James and I in the common room. We watched him head up to the boys' dorms, speechless, listening to his footsteps slowly fading away.

Sighing, James collapsed on the chair that Sirius had previously been inhabiting. "If there's one thing you have to know once you're close to Sirius," he told me, "it's that family is a touchy subject."

"I'm not close to Sirius," I said, clearly bewildered.

"You're close to me. And didn't you just have a conversation about his brother two minutes ago? Being close to me automatically means you're close to all of the marauders, and if Sirius will talk to you about his brother, then he's definitely trusting you more than he'll trust many."

I had always known that the marauders were close-knit friends, and that you nearly never saw one alone. When one was down, there always was another cheering him up; or, perhaps, helping him out, sometimes in not-so-peaceful ways. But I never knew that the Marauder's brotherly natures toward each other reached to such an extent, specifically James's and Sirius's connections.

Wait. What had he said?

..._I _was close to him. Huh.

"I'll tell you the truth about Sirius one day," James said quietly. "But I don't think today is the day. Enough's happened already. It's late, and we better be heading back to the Head dorms."

He was right. I rubbed my eyes, suddenly exhausted. "You lead, I'll follow. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'm going to get lost. I get oddly delirious at night."

"Don't I know it," James muttered, holding a hand out and hoisting me up out of the armchair.

* * *

I had a restful, dreamless sleep that I greatly appreciated. This particular Sunday morning was bright and cheery, but seasonably crisp; the leaves were turning golden brown and scarlet, crunching beneath students' trainers as they walked the grounds. Dressing quickly, I rushed downstairs to a nearly empty Great Hall, chugged some pumpkin juice, grabbed some buttered toast (with strawberry jam, of course), and walked quickly outside to meet the autumn air.

As I walked along, who should I come across but Marlene and Sirius.

Holding hands, and, dare I say it - gazing at each other quite passionately. They stopped in their tracks upon seeing me, and an awkward silence quickly made its way into the situation.

So I said something idiotic to break the silence.

"This is shocking," I said, looking at their intertwined hands. They immediately untangled themselves. Marlene's eyes were wide, while Sirius's expression was stony.

"Are you going to ask questions?" he asked robotically.

I thought about this. It would be ideal for me and everyone else to know what was going on, as soon as possible; however, looking at the two standing so still, the leaves circulating at their feet, I decided to let it go. At least for now.

"Carry on," I said airily. "I'll be curious later."

They both nodded stiffly in gratitude, and walked along the path toward the Forbidden Forest. Shaking my head slowly to clear out the muddled thoughts, I listened to the crunch of toast while absorbing the sunlight and shivering in the wind.

As the day was so inviting, people were beginning to emerge from the double doors and venture out into the welcoming sunlight. Soon the area around the Black Lake was crowded, but I managed to nab the leaf pile underneath the beech tree all to myself. Smugly, I pulled my knees up to my chin.

Alone, and presumably unnoticed, I began talking quietly to myself in mumbling mutters.

"How could...it's got to be a trick, some sort of deceit, for sure. Marlene knows better than...but does she? Track record, the both of them, can't know for sure - GAH!"

_crash._

Hopelessly dazed and confused, I shook my head to clear my sight, obstructed by my hair and the whirling leaves around me. My body was terribly sore and uncomfortable at the moment, and only after another moment or so did I realize that someone was lying on top of me.

"Get off!" I squeaked, more out of surprise than anything else. The leaves still hadn't settled, and I had no idea who (or what) was currently pressed up against me.

"Evans?" cried a voice incredulously, very close to my face.

"Potter!" I shrieked in astonishment.

The leaves had finally fallen back down, and I realized that I was in a most compromised position.

I had fallen back on my elbows at the impact of his fall from the tree, and he was arched over me, his face incredibly close to mine. I could see his eyes behind his gleaming glasses, hazel, wide and utterly shocked. I couldn't say I looked any better.

"Uhh..." he started, his face heating up in an endearing blush.

"Uh huh," I stated grimly, sense slowly dawning on my brain. "It's me. Get off. Now."

He obeyed quickly, scrambling to his feet, his hand springing to his hair and ruffling several leaves and a twig or two out of his messy locks.

"Morning, Lily," James said casually, as if he hadn't just fallen out of the tree and onto me instead.

"Are you alright?" I said, amused at his poorly disguised embarrassment. "Took quite a fall there, didn't you?"

"I'm in one piece," he reported. Straightening up, he looked at me haughtily. "May I have the pleasure of sitting beside you, dear madam?"

"You may, kind sir," I said, getting up myself. He bowed, I curtsied, and we laughed, our chuckles catching the attention of neighboring people.

I noticed Jane and Miranda, very near, arguing heatedly over something. Eva was sitting on a stone railing, looking very thin and slightly worried. However, once she caught sight of my stare, her expression turned murderous.

"Check it out," James said amusedly. "There's always time for a nice insult war." He had noticed the exchange between me and the other girls.

"I don't think early morning's an ideal time to talk to any of them," I said aloud, "but I'm curious to what's going on. I'm gonna go see." I started walking forward, only to have my arm jerked backward. James had grabbed my wrist in an attempt to hold me back.

"You're either really brave," James said, "or incredibly stupid. I think even I know enough not to talk to them if I were you."

"I'm curious," I said indignantly. "And Miranda is - or, at least, was - my friend, and she left me without an explanation. I think that could be an excuse enough to talk to them." I once again began walking forward, but James still had a tight grip on my wrist. I whipped around, my eyes narrowing.

"Let. Go," I said dangerously.

"I won't," James responded stubbornly. "If you're going over there, then I'm going with you."

"That'll just make it worse," I said.

"How come?"

The thought of Eva, James, and I all within ten metres of each other scared the pants off me. However, James seemed mighty persistent.

"Fine, you interfering busybody," I muttered grumpily.

"I'm not the one who was curious in the first place," he reminded me. He let go of my arm, but kept a close distance to me. I rolled my eyes and sighed, then began walking toward the trio.

Jane and Miranda immediately stopped arguing. Jane fixed me with a cool glare, and Miranda attempted the same but just ended up appearing guilty. She'd always been a terrible actress.

"Morning," I said casually, breaking the awkward tension. "What's going on, my fellows?"

Eva stayed silent, but glanced at James. He was studying her with concern, taking in her jutting joints and bony limbs.

"Are you okay, Eva? You seem sort of…hungry," James started, wincing once he processed his own words.

"It's my diet," Eva said protectively, but then her tone turned sweet. "It's really effective, James. I bet Lily should try it, she'd get _wonderful_results, she certainly has some to lose - "

I pursed my lips, but managed to stay silent. I could see James's eyes roll within my peripheral vision.

"I'm thin enough, thanks," I responded, then turned to Jane and Miranda. "Sorry, but I couldn't help noticing that you two were arguing from my spot over at the tree. Any problems?"

"It's none of your business, you-" Jane started.

"Jane's betraying Eva," Miranda blurted.

Eva looked at Miranda with wide eyes, but Jane feigned surprise.

"I would _never _do that!" she said, mock angrily. Her acting was also terrible.

"Don't even pretend, Jane," Eva said, her voice tired. She looked exhausted; there were deep purple circles underneath her eyes. "I already know. C'mon, Miranda." She stood up, and Miranda began to follow, but then she looked back at me.

"I'm doing this for a reason, Lily," she said, her voice the one I recognized - funny, kind, intelligent Miranda, the one that had the weirdest personality and softest soul. However, immediately after the phrase was uttered, her eyes went blank again and her face turned cool.

"I said, _c'mon_, Miranda," Eva repeated, her tone slightly angry. Miranda followed. The two walked into the castle, and Jane left in an angry huff.

"Well, that certainly was interesting," James said happily. "Thank you for forcing me to come over here."

"I never forced you to come over here!"

"Well, you wouldn't stay at the tree, so I _had _to follow you over here, right?"

"What are you, my dog?" I snorted.

"No, that's Sirius," James laughed to himself.

I stared at him. "I don't get it."

"Good," he replied, very content.

We stood there for a moment, watching an angry fourth year crumple up and toss her essay into the Black Lake. A giant tentacle sprang up from the depths and caught the parchment in mid-air, then launched it back toward its owner with ten times more force than before.

"Hey, Lily," James started.

"Eh?" I said, concentrating on the girl. She was now shouting indignantly at the tentacle, which looked incredibly entertained by her fury.

"Nevermind," James finished as an afterthought.

"All right, then," I said, observing as the tentacle began to stroke the disturbed fourth year's cheek. She slapped it away.

"Hey, Lily?" James started again.

"What?" I said, a little annoyed, paying close attention as the tentacle wrapped itself lovingly around the girl's midriff.

"Nah, forget about it," James finished, once again, a teasing lilt to his voice.

"I will," I assured him, the annoyance growing at his little game, turning back to watch as the squid, apparently incredibly attracted to the poor Fourth Year, dragged the girl toward the lake's shore. I gazed, transfixed, at the terrified girl's slow descent into the water. "Somebody help her!" a voice cried from nearby.

"HEY, LILY!"

"Fuck!"

Potter had grabbed me by the arm and jerked me closer. Yawning and stretching his arm casually over my shoulders, he began turning me away from the Fourth Year Tentacle Love situation in front of us.

"What - James, let go! I mean it, or I swear I'll - "

I was too busy trying to get his pesky arm away that I hadn't even bothered to see where we were headed. Before I knew it, I was launched unceremoniously into the pile of leaves from earlier.

"James! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I cried.

"I'm going to sing to you!" James proclaimed loud and clear.

"Are you out of your mind?" I screamed.

"Completely," James agreed. "But I made up the song last night, and I was looking for you today in order to sing it to you. You got so distracted by Eva and that troubled tentacle girl that I was forced to do this."

"So that explains why you were in the tree," I nodded understandingly.

"I wasn't supposed to fall on you though," he admitted.

"I guessed."

He clapped his hands, and all of a sudden the marauders materialized out of nowhere.

"What the - ?" I muttered. Sirius winked, and Remus and Peter smirked. "Are you ready for this, Lilykins?" Sirius called.

"No, I'm not! And what happened to Marl-"

"Let's start!" Sirius shouted with rather convenient timing.

All of a sudden the Marauders started up a "doo op, dee dop, doo op" in strangely catchy harmonies. They swayed back and forth, arms waving in the air, fingers snapping to the beat. Peter smiled and Remus…Remus winked.

Oh dear Merlin.

And James started up the verse.

"_The weather's nice and warm, but I don't feel it, no.  
I'm missing something special, but I don't know where to go  
To find the one that I, I Iiiiiii...need so."_

My jaw was more than dropped by now.

He had a surprisingly melodic voice.

_"But there she is awaiting, underneath the tree!  
Green eyes, red hair, and whoa! She's the one for me!  
Don't you see, Lily? We, oh we are meeeeaaant to be."_

Laughter. It was bubbling up inside of me, along with another emotion, one I couldn't quite place.

_"Lily, Lily, Lily, you're my only flower.  
And if it's necessary, I'll wait through every hour.  
To get you, get get get you...to be miiiiine. Mine, mine mine!"_

_"Doo op, dee dop, doo op, doo op, dee dop, doo op doo op, dee dop, doo op doo op, dee dop - Oh!"_

Uproarious applause met the end of their song, as everyone who had crowded around to witness the Marauders' musical act were beside themselves with laughter. Hoots and hollers and "ENCORE!"s met my ears, but I couldn't understand anything. Doubled up and choking on the leaves around me, I could barely breathe for the hysterical laughter escaping me.

The crowd thinned and Remus, Peter, and Sirius ambled away. James joined me in the leaves, taking a bunch of them and throwing them in the air every now and again. "So, you liked it?" James said conversationally.

"It was pure genius," I said, still chuckling. "Best prank you've pulled yet."

"Prank?" James said blankly. After a second, he shook his head and said, "Not exactly in that category, but pretty impressive, right?" His voice sounded a bit sorrowful.

"Immensely. Loved it," I assured him, trying to get his spirits back up. I leaned my head on his shoulder. It was incredibly comfortable. "Don't be sad, James. I've got no idea why you're like this. Why?"

"No reason," he shrugged.

"Tell me."

"Nah."

"C'mon!"

"There's nothing to tell!"

"Oh, there _so _totally is. Spill it!"

"Spill what?"

"Don't play the stupid card, just tell me already!"

"I atros evol uoy ylil."

...

What?

WHAT?

"_What?" _I hissed in utter confusion.

"Figure it out." James was beside himself with happiness. He had that oh-so-irritating smug smile plastered on his face. The smile that I hated. Somewhat hated, at least.

I thought for a second, and then shook my head.

"...what?" I repeated, feeling idiotic.

James sighed. "I was speaking backwards."

"You can _do_that?" I asked incredulously.

"Learned," James said proudly. "It's how we communicate - Sirius, Peter, Remus and I, that is. When we don't want people to understand us."

"They don't understand you anyway," I muttered under my breath, my brain conjuring an absurd image of the Marauders in the corridors of Hogwarts, arguing heatedly in fluent Nonsense.

Maybe it wasn't as absurd as I thought. In fact, it seemed just ridiculous enough to suit that lot.

"Repeat that, then. Let me get a quill," I decided, patting myself down to see if I had the said writing utensil at hand.

"No repeats," James said sternly, that ridiculous smile still on his face. He was obviously incredibly pleased with himself; he had told me the truth, but I wasn't able to understand it.

"Tell me what it means!" I said, jumping up and down in frustration.

"Nope," he said joyfully. He tapped me on the nose devilishly, and strode off in the opposite direction.

"James! James Potter! YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANT!" But I knew my shouting was to no avail. I could even hear him singing as he walked away.

"_Lily Lily Lily, you're my only flower..."_

* * *

"And he just tapped me on the nose and walked away, _whistling_!" I shouted angrily. I was pacing quickly in the Gryffindor girl's dormitories, Alice and Marlene watching me and holding back giggles.

"It's a shame you don't have a prodigy-level memory," Alice said, smiling.

"Or speak backwards," Marlene added. "Who knew? Merlin, what a talent. Imagine if that's how you talked. And the singing, too. Wish I could do that."

"Well, anyway, that was just a fraction of my morning," I said to Alice. Marlene looked worried; she was clearly afraid I would tell Alice that I had caught her and Sirius holding hands.

"Well, I'm all ears. And I've got nothing to say about the James situation, except you two are clearly head over heels for each other," Alice announced.

"That's not true!" I cried.

"Oh, c'mon Lily, you were doing so well," Alice chided. "We were clearly already onto the 'Anger' stage of love- now you have to go back down to denial."

"We'll wait for 'Acceptance'," Marlene sighed.

I glared furiously at them. "This again? Those ridiculous 'stages of love'? Anyway, that's not the point of what I was going to say."

"Well then, do continue, dear friend," Alice said giddily.

"I will," I said huffily. "Miranda and Jane were having a fight at the lake; Eva seemed extremely tired and exhausted, not to mention bone thin. Says it's a new special 'diet', or something, and she tried to insult me in front of James. And, obviously Jane betrayed Eva."

"We already know all that," Marlene said, seemingly relieved that I hadn't spilled about her and Sirius.

"Yeah," Alice agreed. "You miss a lot, since you stay up in the head dorms; all the action happens down here."

"Well, hoo-ray," I grumped. "Why didn't you two bother to tell me, then?"

"What are we, the Hogwarts gossip mill?" Marlene asked.

"Well, now you are," I proclaimed. "I need to stay updated. So what happened between Jane and Eva?"

"Jane's been selling Eva and Miranda out to all the guys at Hogwarts. Obviously, she's jealous of Miranda for taking her spot in Eva's posse; and she's a right bitch, so I guess she just wanted to deal with Eva, too. Miranda handled it in stride, but Eva blew up; she thought Jane has said something to the Marauders, as well," Marlene spilled.

"Did she?"

"Actually, she only told Remus. Didn't have enough time to tell the others before Eva caught on. I don't know if Remus told the rest."

I considered this. "And Eva's diet?"

"We're not sure," Alice began, glancing at Marlene, "but we think she's becoming anorexic."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. "As much as I dislike the girl, I think she needs some help," I admitted.

"So do we," Alice agreed, "but we're too scared to give her any."

"Then I'll help," I announced.

"No, you won't!" Alice and Marlene shouted.

"You know she already has something against you, and 'helping' her won't help at all!" Marlene cried.

"Who knows? Maybe if I help her, she won't hate me as much. It's worth a try."

"It's your life," Alice shrugged. "I don't know about you two, but I'm hungry. I'm going to get a quick bite. Want anything?"

"I'll pass," I said. Marlene agreed, and Alice walked out of the room. We watched her figure disappear down the staircase. I turned to Marlene, giving her my all-knowing, yes-this-is-about-to-go-down look. She looked at me innocently.

"Got anything to say to me?" I asked Marlene quietly. She sighed, knowing what I was talking about.

"Yes, I do," Marlene finally said. "First of all, erase all thoughts you currently have in your head, because I can assure you that they're probably wrong."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh, just take the fact that you're wrong for once, alright? Anyway, there's nothing going on with Sirius and me. It's just..." Marlene paused before saying, "I don't know if I should tell you."

"Because you don't want me to know?" I said, affronted. Marlene and I had been friends since the first week of first year. We had always trusted each other with everything, no matter what the circumstances were.

"No, because Sirius might not want you to know," Marlene clarified.

"Oh," I said, mulling this over. I thought back to the conversation I'd had with Sirius earlier today about his brother. What had James said? _"...if Sirius will talk to you about his brother, then he's definitely trusting you more than he'll trust many."_

I wasn't sure if that sentence meant much.

"Feel free to not tell me," I told Marlene, trying to sound as honest and earnest as possible. I didn't want Marlene feeling guilty (even though I knew she wasn't quite the type).

"No, I'm going to tell you," Marlene stated. She seemed to have gotten over her previous concerns. "The thing is, Sirius came to me after his big fight with Miranda the other day - you know, the one with the Bird Missiles - "

"The one that I missed," I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah," Marlene said. "Well, he's trying to get revenge on her. That's how Sirius works, you see? He doesn't go all emotional and sob-worthy on people, he just turns to defensive maneuvers. So we sorta...came up with a plan of revenge."

"Oh, kay..." I said, trying to see how this connected to Marlene and Sirius holding hands this morning.

If they didn't actually have feelings for each other, what was the reasoning there, then? If Sirius liked Miranda, and if Miranda obviously fancied him back, why'd he go and get with Marlene?...

Oh.

_Oh_.

"MARLENE MCKINNON!" I yelled. "I can't believe you resorted to such low, dirty tactics - "

"Entirely his idea!" Marlene blurted insistently, trying to get me to calm down. "I'm just going along with it, someone needs to put Miranda in her place - "

"But by resorting to using _jealousy? _By manipulating feelings? Tell me, when has a plan like that ever worked?" I snarled.

"Well, see, I'm not exactly sure when a plan like that has been executed - " Marlene started.

"Have you seen the soap-opera lives of Emmeline Vance and Fabian Prewett?" I asked her.

"Fabian? You mean Alice's cousin?" Marlene asked curiously.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "He tried using Hestia Jones in order to win Emmeline over - not only did it not work, but he was practically hexed to an inch of his life before someone pulled Hestia off his unconscious body."

Marlene winced. "Oh. That. I remember that."

"Is that what you want to happen to you?" I reasoned, trying to keep the high and mighty tone out of my voice, unsuccessfully.

"You don't understand, Lily," Marlene said. "Sirius isn't using me, for one, and we aren't going to be all public and touchy-touchy."

"Merlin forbid," I muttered.

"We're just trying to show Miranda that Sirius isn't utterly attached to her, and that he has options, as well," Marlene continued. "Miranda needs to understand that Sirius won't be waiting around forever."

I tried to process this. "So...you're just, you know, gonna show her what she's missing out on, but...not? As in, well..."

"Sirius won't always be there, and Miranda needs to know that," Marlene clarified, as I was having trouble using my words.

"Yeah," I breathed out, still relatively confused. Marlene shot me a knowing glance, along with a smile.

"Come here and hug me, you great big overreacting lump of fluff," Marlene simpered. I quickly obeyed, and we proceeded to walk down to the common room and out of the portrait hole to find Alice.

* * *

A/N:

What do you think? I've got my own song stuck in my head. Seems like a self-centered thing to happen. Review!

-.x.

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama! (Palindrome)


	13. Flaming? Or Flying?

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Oh, alas. I had a dream of Hogwarts last night! I was casting a banishing spell on a book because I was too lazy to walk and return it to the library. Too bad I don't own Harry Potter.

**Hey! I'm back again.**

**So, yeah. I have a lot of ideas since I've let this story go, and I'm going to try to get them to fanfiction as quickly as possible. This chapter, for all intents and purposes, is a bit of a laugh and a break from all that dramastical (yes, I did mean to spell it that way) stuff I've dished out lately. So this chapter's got no plot, it's just funny.**

**Yay for pointlessness! Read on, my dears.**

* * *

Another bad day.

I could feel it brewing in my bones – it was to be expected, of course. I had to have bad days on Monday. It was like the law of the universe. Or my universe, at the least.

My alarm clock startled me awake, obnoxiously blaring in my ears, whistling a wandering tune –

Wait. My alarm clock didn't whistle.

It was _James_whisting. In the shower. Loud and clear, his whistling defied the soundproof walls of Hogwarts, ringing clearly in my ears. I desperately tried clinging to my sanity by shoving my pillow over my head but it was to no avail.

Glancing over to the clock on my bedside table I received quite a shock. It was a jarring 4:30 a.m., the ungodliest of the ungodly hours, and I nearly screamed in frustration. Whistling? At the break of dawn? Ruining my _well-deserved, extremely necessary_sleep?

Potter would _pay._

Damned whistling.

I stormed violently out of my dormitory and rapped loudly on the bathroom door.

"You better stuff it, Potter! Or I swear, you're not getting out of that bathroom any time soon." A plan was already formulating in my head, and I grinned wickedly to myself.

"I do believe I hear my lovely Lily calling to me," Potter sang, his words graced with an unlawful morning cheer. "I'm coming, my darling!"

Before he could make it out of the bathroom, I took out my wand with a flourish and locked the door from the outside.

I smirked to myself as I saw the doorknob rattling as Potter repeatedly tried to open it, and then the shaking of the door itself as he tried to shove it open.

"Lily?" He called. "Hey, Lily!"

I smiled giddily.

"Evans! I'm locked in!"

"I believe you are, Potter," I giggled.

"Damnit, woman! You can't do this to me," James cried, pounding on the door. The windowpanes rattled, but his efforts were in vain.

"Oh, but I can, James," I countered with the air of a lecturing professor who'd just proved his colleague wrong. "You see, certain punishments are well-deserved if one finds themselves woken up at _bloody_ _4:30 a.m._ on a day that is doomed. You see, your whistling has doomed me. So, the way _I _see it, it's only fair that I doom you in return by locking you in this bathroom for, say, the rest of the day."

"Lily! I don't have my wand!"

"Then you're not getting out. You woke me up, I lock you in."

"Honestly? I was just whistling, no harm done – " he pleaded.

"Say that to my measly 4 hours of sleep!" I shrieked nearly hysterically. I did not manage ungodly morning hours very well.

"Calm down, Flower. I'm sure there's a way we can sort this out without resorting to desperate measures," James said, trying to maintain some sort of control in this ridiculous situation.

"In case you haven't noticed, I already _have_resorted to desperate measures. You're locked in the bathroom."

"Oh, I've noticed that," James said dryly. "Could you please let me out?"

"No."

"And why not?"

"Because you woke me up at fucking 4 am."

"Is that all? Because, really, I don't think you want me in here for that long," James replied.

"What? Why?" I was very confused. I could hear James scrambling around the bathroom, crossing it, and opening up a cabinet.

He shouted through the door, "Well, seeing as this is a _shared_bathroom, perhaps I could just go and use your lovely – " - he paused for a moment, as if to read something aloud- "- 'Lily Nectarine Bliss Body Wash', or perhaps the 'Honeysuckle Exfoliating Face Scrub' – "

How. _DARE. HE!_

I gasped in horror. "Potter! Put my stuff down, NOW!"

"Not until you let me out of the bathroom," James said calmly in reply. "And there's always the 'Raspberry Rain Shaving Gel' or the 'Peach Blossom Body Lotion'. Merlin, Evans, how many frilly products do you need?"

"Would you rather I smell like you do?" I retorted.

"You mean the smell of manliness?" James boasted.

"If manliness is a mixture of stale sweat and dust, then yes," I lied. James actually smelled quite nice, a bit like pine, mint, and a wonderfully delicious hint of spice...

"You lie," James declared, seemingly reading my mind. "It's Peter that smells like stale sweat, and Remus that smells like dust, because of those books he always surrounds himself with. Now, what is this?" James asked, genuinely curious as he continued to peruse my part of the bathroom. "It's a box, and inside it looks like…a little plastic tube? With a string –, Evans, why the hell do you have this contraption? "

Oh, _dear God_, no.

"NO!" I cried, absolutely mortified. "Don't – "

"Tampons? What are…oh," James trailed off as he realized what he was holding. There was a soft _thump_as the box fell to the floor, and a heavy silence settled upon us.

After a few seconds, James squeaked, "Could you please unlock the door?"

I wordlessly performed the charm and he sped out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. I was so embarrassed I didn't even pay attention to the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and that his hair was tousled and glistening from his shower.

Oh, bollocks. Maybe I did pay attention to that. But my face was as red as a fire truck as I glanced down at the box of tampons, lying so innocently on the bathroom carpet.

"What happened?" Sirius said at breakfast, glancing between James and I. We had eaten in silence for the entire duration of the meal so far. "Lover's quarrel?"

"More like a mountain of embarrassment that brought down an avalanche of mortification," I muttered.

"Nice analogy," James said appreciatively from across the table.

"Oh, do shut up."

"So there _was_a lover's quarrel," Sirius cried, jumping giddily in his seat.

"Stop, you're shaking the table," I replied, shooting him a steady glare that he pointedly ignored.

"Never mind that," Sirius said excitedly. "What did he do? Did ickle little Jamesie finally get further than his wishful fantasies about you?"

"…that don't exist," James growled, also glaring at Sirius.

I rolled my eyes. "Shut your trap, Sirius."

"You should very well know, Evans," Sirius continued pompously, "that James has been quite frustrated lately. See how he's gripping his fork? It's all the pent-up frustration there, just being taken out on that poor eating utensil."

I glanced at James. He was still glaring murderously at Sirius, but I could clearly see Black had a point - the fork was just about to bend from the pressure of James's obviously tense grip.

"I see what you're talking about, Sirius," I agreed, deciding to play along with his charade. James sent me a look of deep offense.

"And furthermore, Lil-ums," Sirius said, shoveling an omelette in his mouth before swallowing dramatically, "it's a special kind of frustration, too."

James raised an eyebrow.

"Sexual frustration?" I smirked.

"Certainly, my friend!" Sirius cried out in glee. "And guess who must remedy that?" He raised his eyebrows insinuatively towards me.

"Well, himself, of course," I smiled charmingly before turning to my pancakes.

Sirius laughed appreciatively. "Of course, my dear wanker Prongsy-poo here," he cried affectionately, before snatching James and tousling his already mussed hair.

"Sirius, geroff, I mean it, or merlin help me I'll - "

"Do be quiet, James dear," I said, elegantly sipping at my morning's pumpkin juice. "This is quite entertaining. I'm enjoying these antics here."

James sent me another look of deep loathing. "Well, don't you have some nerve after locking me in a bathroom all morning - "

"Well deserved! And you looked through my stuff!" I retaliated quickly. Sirius was watching us with a satisfied smirk.

"Oh, just stop grinning and eat your bacon," I snarled at Sirius, and he pouted in return.

"No," Sirius countered childishly. "Actually, I was just going to relay something to Prongsy here."

James, a bit roughed up and peeved, looked up from his toast and quirked an eyebrow at Sirius, prompting him to continue.

"So," Sirius announced quite loudly, his voice echoing down the table, "even if you didn't get far with Lily last night, I've got quite a bit to tell you about Marlene – "

I heard a small gasp and out of the corner of my eye I saw Miranda's shell-shocked expression.

"-got to second base, almost made it to third if we hadn't been caught by McGonagall," Sirius continued, still shouting. James seemed quite alarmed, before realization dawned on him. He frowned. Sirius had obviously told him about his master plan on Manipulating Miranda's Emotions Via Marlene.

A surge of anger filled me and I lashed out at the undeserving bastard before me.

"No one gives a flaming fuck about your latest escapades," I bit back at Sirius defensively.

For no reason that I knew, I felt guilty and angry for Sirius's actions. However, moments later, one look at Miranda's devastated face told me that I knew exactly why.

I needed Miranda's friendship back. And seeing her sadness was just as upsetting, if not more so than it had been when we'd been on good terms.

Meanwhile, James and Sirius were discussing more important matters.

"A flaming fuck? Can you imagine?"

Oh, dear merlin. I was regretting ever saying the phrase to begin with.

"It's impossible, you'd just burn up while you're doing it – "

"Well, yeah, but there are countercharms for that, right? I mean, there's the whole witch burnings way back when, they cast charms that made the fire null and void – "

"Yeah, you're right. I also distinctly remember the textbook saying that it resulted in a pleasant, tickling sensation."

"Now _that_would really add to the experience of it all, that would – "

"Are you talking about a flaming fuck?" I sighed reservedly.

James and Sirius glanced at each other, and then turned to me. "Duh," they said in unison.

"Don't you agree with me, Lily? I mean, think about it – the pleasure of a partner, in addition to a soft stroking along your sides from the fire – " Sirius smirked, adding vague and disturbing hand motions to follow his words.

"Stop, Padfoot," James said, looking slightly pained. I raised an eyebrow, and he blushed.

"Right, frustrations, sorry," Sirius quipped.

I decided to partake in their conversation, thinking to myself, _if you can't beat 'em, join 'em._

"Well personally," I started, "a flaming fuck, while it sounds fun, is a little too much trouble. I mean, there'll already be the heat of the moment, why just add more heat to that?"

"There's never enough heat, Lily," Sirius replied…seriously.

"I disagree," I said. "There's such thing as too much of a good thing."

"I believe I've heard you say that before," James piped up.

"You probably have," I smiled. "Now, a flaming fuck is one thing, but what about a flying fuck?"

The conversation paused for a moment while James pondered this, but Sirius interrupted his thoughts as he stated, "Oh, been there, done that."

I gaped at him. James was quick to follow.

"What?" he cried defensively. "I wanted to be experimental."

I cringed. "Well, then, Sirius, please spare us the details."

"How would _you_think a flying fuck would feel like, then, Evans?" Sirius questioned.

I thought on this for a moment, and James watched me carefully as I mulled this over in my head. "It would be quite fun," I decided, and both James and Sirius's eyebrows shot up a mile, disappearing underneath their fringes.

"Fun?" James gasped.

"Well, yeah," I said, a bit confused. "There's the whole thing of being in the air. If you just floated there and did the deed, I think it'd be quite interesting. You know, no holds barred or anything, no restraints, just the feeling of the moment right then and there…"

James made a small noise.

"Right, frustrations, sorry," I apologized quickly, turning to my breakfast and stuffing the contents of my plate into my mouth.

* * *

**Next chapter coming up soon. It'll contain a bit of bad luck, the return of the mischievously mean Sirius and James, and a sincere apology.**

**Read, review, you know it.**

**-.x.**


	14. Apologies, Apologies, And Then Some

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: I wish.

**I. CANNOT. STOP. WRITING.**

**Carry on.**

* * *

There are times in life where you just want to open a window and throw your head outside to scream to the heavens.

And what do you scream to the heavens when this little feeling passes?

Well, why not go with the classics: "AAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHH!"

Combined with some other dirty phrases here and there, you've got yourself a good little tantrum that no one will know about (not counting, of course, anyone within a 10-mile radius who heard your clever little outburst).

But that's besides the point here. What could possibly have gotten me in this terrible trifle of a mood, are you wondering?

It's not so much a thing, as several things. And they all decided to attack right. At. This. Moment. And while today, like I predicted, was doomed from the start, my unhappiness really came down to one thing.

I got a D.

In Transfiguration.

I got a _D_.

D as in Dreadful, D as in Desperately Demanding the Dunce Cap.

And then stupid FUCKING life-is-so-easy James Potter, that idiotic SCOUNDREL, that absolute SCALLYWAG…

Oh dear, I sound like a pirate.

Continued.

"Bloody, FUCKING, godforsaken BASTARD!" I screamed the moment class let out. McGonagall had waited until the last minute before the bell to hand out our essays, congratulating us on our work in general, and suggesting that if we HADN'T done so excellently, to come see her after class.

I swear, she'd been looking at me when she'd uttered those words, her sharp eagle eyes boring into my forehead. But, of course, silly oh-so-confident Lily didn't take these matters into account, oh, NO. Lily actually was under the impression that she'd done TERRIFICALLY on the essay that she'd spent FIVE FUCKING HOURS revising.

Well, Lily was wrong. Hellishly, hellishly wrong. Third person interlude over.

I had received a considerable shock upon viewing the scrawled, scarlet "D", inked upon my paper as if scratched upon my skin. It certainly stung like a scratch would, and it took me a while to register the paper in front of me, trying to convince my eyes that there was something wrong. But up and down the paper I saw the red marks and corrections, hastily scribbled, almost frustrated, even.

Honestly, Transfiguration had never been my forte. But I hadn't been_ so_terrible at it, for there had to be a reason behind me being in the NEWT class, no? But there it was, right in front of me, the sharp, cutting "D" scribbled deep into the parchment. I almost sobbed right then and there.

And, to make matters worse, Sirius Black decided to pop up behind me and snatch my essay away from me, with little hoots and hollers.

"My, oh, MY, is that a D I see here?" Sirius shouted gleefully, successfully gaining the attention of the rest of the class. I could see, out of the corner of my eye, Alice and Marlene looking at me sympathetically, along with Emmeline Vance looking downright angry from across the room.

"Black, stop teasing her," Vance demanded, but of course her requests fell on deaf ears.

Good girl, that Emmeline Vance.

"A _D_? Could it be?" James gasped, playing along with Sirius's mood, grabbing my essay from Sirius's slimy fingertips.

"Give. It. BACK." I hissed, trying my hardest to sound threatening but failing miserably. Tears were choking up my throat already and I knew it was only a matter of time before they'd be spilling over my eyes, running down my cheeks. I would _humiliate_myself.

I was already humiliated.

"Oh, golly gee, it IS!" cried James, waving my essay about in the air like a flag. The other students were giggling, if at my dismal failure or James's foolishness, I had no idea.

"Potter, you give that back, or I swear, I'll hex you dead!" I hissed.

"Don't, Lily dear, think about our children," He winked.

The laughter of my classmates rang in my ears and I saw red.

"Fuck it, Potter, you slug! Give the essay BACK!" I screamed, grabbing my wand.

"No," Potter pouted, then smiled again. "Hey, Evans, do you want to know what I got? Do ya, do ya?"

"No, I don't bloody _care_– "

"He got an O!" Sirius chirped delightedly, rubbing the paper in my face, waving it before my eyes. "O, as in Outstanding," Sirius furthered, as if I was an idiot.

"I know what an O stands for, I'm not stupid," I bit back.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Because this essay speaks otherwise."

The laughter of the classroom echoed off of the stone walls, pounding into my skull. It hurt.

And, oh no - I could feel that terrible lump in my throat, the pressure building behind my eyes, and my vision slowly blurring as my eyes welled up with tears.

I was NOT going to cry.

Well, maybe a little.

The moment the first tear slipped from my eye, James's entire mood changed. His face fell and instead of delighted, he looked devastated, and he bent down and suddenly scrambled around in search for his wand.

What was the idiot _doing?_

I couldn't exactly see what happened next, and only heard James mutter quietly to himself, but the next thing I knew he was standing up again, holding his essay in his hands.

"Hold up, Sirius," he proclaimed loud enough for the listening class to hear. "I think there's been a mistake."

"What?" Sirius replied, his laughter dying on his lips.

"I didn't get an Outstanding. Lily did," James confessed, holding out the essay that had been his, an essay that was written entirely in –

My handwriting? But it couldn't be! Sirius had all but shoved it in my face before, the O had been clearly marked on _James_'s paper.

"And, well, fuck," James said, looking at the essay that was originally mine. "It seems I got a D."

Sirius spluttered and snatched the parchment away from him. Upon it was McGonagall's clearly written D, standing out against James's spindly scrawl.

"But – mate – I swear, this was Lily's – " Sirius began.

"I guess not, James shrugged, frowning. "Huh, the essays got mixed up."

I was immensely confused, if not a bit relieved. It seemed that all the students were confused as well, Sirius especially.

James's essay had _clearly _been an Outstanding. I had seen it the first time around, examined the handwriting when Sirius had first showed it off to me. It had definitely been James's.

And I had the D. Right? But, well, I hadn't exactly thought to check the name…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and then it dawned on me.

Potter had used a forging charm!

The tricky cockroach! That terrific pest!

That…nice…person.

Why? Why would he do that? Just like the inconsiderate bastard, to go and make fun of me and then confuse me with a shining ray of gallantry in the end.

_He _caused my problem. So what if he fixed it in the end? The shite had still messed things up in the beginning. Utter arsehole.

Still thoroughly upset, my embarrassment heating up my face, I waited anxiously for the bell, tearing out of the classroom before leaning against a wall and cursing like a sailor.

Which brings me to where I am now.

"Bugger, shit, FUCK – "

"Whoa there, Evans," Black said from behind me. The Marauders had approached, and they all looked quite nervous.

"YOU!" I screamed, turning and stabbing my wand at his throat. He shrank back in terror. "YOU, YOU SLIMY, DASTARDLY WANKER! YOU UTTER WASTE OF SPACE AND TIME! YOU GIT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?" My screeches rebounded off of the castle walls, enhancing my words.

Sirius and the rest of the Marauders looked as if they'd been blown backward by the force of an explosion.

"Now, Lily, calm down, we can sort this out – " James began.

"As for YOU!" I continued, and James stumbled backward, terrified. "WHY I OUGHT TO – "

"Lily?" Peter squeaked, cowering back. "Erm, Evans?"

"_WHAT_!" I thundered.

"Well, um, here's your, your essay," Peter whimpered, tossing the parchment to me. I caught it deftly in my hands, snatching it out of the air and opening it to make sure that it was indeed mine.

Reading it, I realized that this time my essay neither read O, nor D – in fact, it had a pleasant E written across the title.

"Wh-what?" I asked, thoroughly bewildered. "But I thought I had a D."

"I thought you had an O," Sirius said, just as puzzled.

"I used a forging charm," James explained, at the same time that I exclaimed, "He used a forging charm." James cast me an odd look.

Understanding dawned on Sirius's face. The stupid, slow moron.

"Clever save, Prongs," Sirius said in awe, clapping James on the back. James grinned.

"It was a clever save," I agreed, my tone a little less hostile but still threatening. "And if not for that clever save, you, Sirius, and both your souls would be prancing about with monsters at the moment."

Sirius cringed, but James just winked cheekily.

"You knew you'd regret it," James replied airily.

"There's still one thing I don't understand," I said quizzically. "Why do I have an E, then?"

"There was an actual mix-up of the essays," Remus clarified. "Peter got the D."

So I_ had_been wrong, someway or another. Oh, I was such a complete and utter imbecile. I deserved the D if I hadn't even checked to see whether or not it was my own name scribbled across the top.

"Oh," I said, still baffled. Peter blushed slightly. Remus shrugged.

"So…everything's good? James asked sheepishly, his eyes hopeful.

This had been the first truly terrible thing the Marauders had done to me in a while. Truthfully, I'd been expecting it for weeks now. I was spending a lot more time with them than usual, and their tricks were to be anticipated and tolerated. I guess we'd both just been waiting for things to blow up like they just did.

I could live with it.

Right.

The Marauders, meanwhile, were waiting for my response with bated breath.

"Never in a million years," I snapped, my words followed by their disappointed exhale. But then I smiled, and their expressions turned hopeful once more. "That was a decent save though, Potter. Props for that."

I walked away, waving behind my back, my stomach growling for lunch. I could feel James's grin behind me as I turned the corner.

* * *

"Well now, that can't be it," I said to myself, vexed, looking at Colin Cresswell's potion. It was turning a sickly green when it should've been pearly white for several minutes now. Glancing down at the Potions textbook and up again at Cresswell's cauldron, I sighed, defeated. I could see Cresswell's shoulders slump sadly out of the corner of my eye.

"I'm hopeless, aren't I?" Cresswell moaned dejectedly, drooping over onto the table.

"Slightly, I'm afraid," I answered honestly, and he lifted his head to glower at me before rolling his eyes.

I turned back to my potion. It had been simmering for the required ten minutes, and I'd taken up the waiting time by attempting to help Cresswell with his hopeless potion. I carefully dipped a ladle into the white sheen of my potion and emptied its contents into a vial stopper before placing it gently on the rack. I turned back to Cresswell.

"Let's fix this up, yeah?" I started, once again determined to actually have some effect on Cresswell's miserable failure. It seemed as if I wasn't the only one having a bad day today.

A small, familiar voice spoke up from behind me.

"Erm, Lily? Could I have a word?" Miranda asked nervously, tapping my shoulder. Cresswell glanced at her oddly, as if analyzing her.

"Aren't you Diggory's flavor of the week?" Cresswell asked her rudely, a small smirk on his face.

"The week's over," Miranda answered coldly, turning back to me with a pleading look in her eyes. "Please, Lily? A word?"

I had been wanting to talk to Miranda, eventually, though "eventually" had actually meant "in another century or so", but I guess this was as good a time as any.

"Sure," I replied calmly. I put out the fire underneath my cauldron with my wand, bringing the cauldron and its leftover contents up to the front of the room to a pleased Slughorn.

Walking back, I turned to my despondent potions partner. "Shut your trap and try not to make anything explode, Cresswell. Please."

Cresswell raised an eyebrow. "No promises."

I shook my head and sighed, and followed Miranda to the corner of the room where she and Robert Fawcett had been attempting to brew the potion, too. Miranda's, while not yet finished, looked passible. Robert's looked positively dreadful.

"Lily!" Robert chirped, brightening upon seeing me. "You're such a dear, our beautiful goddess, our intoxicating enchantress, our sexiest presence! Our absolutely _divine_expert little potions master – could you possibly - ?" He gestured to his Cauldron Catastrophe.

"Not a chance," I snapped, and Robert glared. Miranda tugged on my sleeve. "Lily," she cried exasperatedly. I reluctantly turned to her, and our eyes met. We stared at each other suspiciously for a moment.

Then Miranda began crying.

Horrified, I could only stand still as she launched her tiny frame at me, wrapping fragile arms around my waist. I held her close, patting her back awkwardly as her hysterical sobs racked through her body.

"Oh, Lily, I can't believe what I've done!" she wailed. "I've lost everyone, I really have – "

"Calm, Miranda," I reassured her, trying desperately to maintain some sort of sense and control in this situation. We were already getting a good amount of stares. I could see James, across the room and next to Black, looking quizzically at me over Miranda's shoulder. Sirius, however, didn't even spare her a glance.

"But I c-can't!" Miranda blubbered, removing her head from my shoulder for a moment. Her eyes were wide and her makeup slightly smeared. "Oops, hang on, let me get that – " she said, her crying stopping immediately, whipping out her wand and drying my shoulder of her soggy eyeliner-mascara enhanced tears.

There was an awkward pause.

"Sorry." Miranda bit her lip, all signs of madness now gone, replaced by hesitancy and nerves.

"You're going to have to be a little bit more specific if you want any semblance of forgiveness," I said somewhat cruelly.

Miranda frowned, but took this all in stride. "I have a lot of explaining to do."

"You bet your skinny arse you do," I agreed.

From behind us, Robert remarked, "It may be skinny, but it's still quite fine – "

Both Miranda and I turned around and cast silencing charms on Fawcett's big mouth. As a result of the two strong _silencios_, Fawcett began scrambling at his throat, desperately trying to indicate to someone that something was wrong. Before we knew it, sparkles began to flutter from Fawcett's lips.

"Is that…glitter?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah," Miranda replied, just as amazed. "I never knew a _silencio_could do that."

Fawcett continued to gag on the fine powdered glitter he was emitting from his mouth. Miranda and I made it a point to ignore him.

"I need to apologize for everything I've done in the past month or so," Miranda confessed. "I've been nothing but a bitter, bothersome little pest – "

"How right you are," I smiled.

Miranda made as if to retort, but reconsidered. "I'm sorry for ditching you for Eva and Jane. I'm sorry for being so inconsiderate to everyone's feelings lately. I had a plan, you know, reasons for all my actions – but then it just spiraled out of control, and turned into something completely different."

"We all have good intentions," I replied, "but when it comes down to it, people aren't going to pay attention to what you mean – only to what you do."

"Lily," Miranda whispered, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly. "I was trying to _help_you."

"By betraying me?" I accused, wriggling out of her grip.

I was dimly aware that Fawcett was now coughing up concentrated clouds of sparkles, twinkling puffs that coated his surroundings in shimmering dust. I heard someone cry, "Help him!"

"Not by betraying you," Miranda shook her head. "By trying to get others to reason with you. By protecting you."

"I'm not following this," I said, puzzled.

"Eva and Jane have been plotting against you for ages, you know that," Miranda explained, and I knew that I was about to learn the whole story. "There was a reason to why Eva was trying to get you to agree to that scheme of hers, the bet. She wanted you to agree, so she could expose you to James, so James would break and go to her for comfort."

"But I didn't agree," I snapped. I knew this all already.

"She was going to tell James that you did, though," Miranda continued. "She had a plan. And, honestly, at first I just wanted to get rid of the Marauders, and figured you did too. We've hated them all these years, haven't we? That's why I was originally swayed over to Eva's ideas, but then I began to realize that what she was doing would hurt everyone, including you, but not just you. It would hurt Potter, it would hurt his friends, and all of us, too."

Sparkles covered the table and Fawcett's cauldron. The air around him was so dense with glitter that I almost couldn't see him, but I could certainly still hear his wretches as he continued to choke.

Miranda, absolutely oblivious to the scene in front of us, went on. "So I went into the enemy front lines for us. I was going to try to reason with Eva so she'd give up the game, and perhaps resolve the tensions we've had with them – I should have known it was impossible, I should've never attempted it. But I did, and then I got in way over my head."

Miranda began whispering. "Those girls have terrible, terrible problems. Psychologically, and socially, they can't handle themselves – we look at them as the banes of our existences, but they have just about as much control over themselves as we do over the rest of the world. Eva has her eating disorders, and Jane's just all around messed up. She can't live a moment without a conflict on her shoulders."

Robert was _still _choking. Sparkles coated his tongue.

Miranda, still ignoring him, had more to say. "Jane began to see through my plans, and decided to expose Eva's bet with you and start Eva's original plot before I could sway Eva over to my side of reason. Eva began to feel betrayed by Jane, and Eva looked to me for support because Jane's really the only friend she has. Jane will tell anyone anything, and Eva was afraid of that. So I was stuck with them until I just couldn't take it anymore. I told them to stuff it two days ago." She grinned at the memory.

"And how did that go over?" I responded, relatively amused by this whole thing if not increasingly annoyed by these problems. I chanced a glance at Robert to see him on the floor, gagging, gleaming dust now full-on pouring from his lips.

"Not very well. I'm afraid they hate us even more now," Miranda said, mystified and disgruntled.

"Miranda," I started, then stopped, trying to think of what exactly I was going to say. Of what I _could _say. "We – Alice, Marlene and I – are your best friends. We've been this way since the beginning, and you know we always will be. I don't see why you couldn't have just told us your plan all along. Then maybe we'd have less of a mess on our hands. But I do understand that you wanted to try to mend things – it's just, sometimes you can't do that on your own. And that's where mates come in." I smiled supportively at her and she smiled weakly back.

"But there's still one thing we have to discuss," I continued. "Diggory."

Miranda actually collapsed on the glitter-coated ground in displeasure. "No! Please, anything but that."

"Not now, you dimwit," I teased, helping her up. "But soon, I assure you. Now, I'm afraid we've got a certain Robert Fawcett to take care of – he's still choking up glitter, as far as I know. And his potion looks absolutely appalling. Not to mention Colin Cresswell's, I still need to help _him_, too," I added.

Robert glared at us for the rest of the period despite our enthusiastic help to his potion disaster, and turned in a vial that was considerably more sparkly than the rest of the class's.

Today had been a productive day, it certainly had.

* * *

**Read and review, please. I've got the next chapter lined up as well.**

**-.x.**


	15. Schemers

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Never, no, never! and, by the way, "glitter is herpes" belongs to the magical Mr. Demetri Martin.

**Oops...I meant to do that.**

**I'm reposting this chapter as a new chapter so people know that I've updated with the latest. I think I'm going to delete the repeat chapter so it won't confuse others.**

**Sorry about the mixup! Please forgive!**

* * *

Miranda and I were lounging by the Gryffindor common room fireplace, stretched out across the sofa and successfully taking up all the space. People were either too afraid of us or too lazy to ask us to get up, so the rest of Gryffindor house settled along the uncomfortable wooden chairs and tables, some even going as far as sitting on the ground when seating became scarce.

"Why do you think they do this?" Miranda asked me amusedly as a sixth year shot us a good glare before sitting down on the worn carpet.

"Because of you," I replied easily. "What are you staring at?" I called as yet another student pointedly looked our way.

"You're taking up the couch," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Why, yes I am," I answered.

"Well, could you possibly move?" the fifth year pressed on.

"Respect your betters," Miranda admonished. "She's Head Girl, you know."

"You're exploiting your position," the fifth year cried.

"Not like you haven't done so. I see you during the prefect meetings," I countered, scrutinizing him with a careful gaze. He almost withered under my glower. "You and Katie Moffit make a habit of snogging in the corner of the room when you think Potter and I don't notice. We've been kind enough to not call you out on it, so please, give me a break. Let me sit where I please."

The fifth year left for the boy's dormitory with a decidedly disgruntled look on his reddened face.

Miranda cackled wickedly. "That was brill, Lily. I don't think they're afraid of me – you make threats as if you're actually going to carry them out."

"I love me some blackmail," I relished. At that moment Alice and Marlene entered the portrait hole, looking worried and a bit anxious. Upon seeing me and Miranda sprawled over the Gryffindor sofa their anxiety was immediately replaced with confusion and a bit of suspicion.

"Hey – Miranda," Alice said hesitantly. Marlene made a small noise in the back of her throat.

There was an awkward pause, and silence fell over the entire Gryffindor common room, punctuated by a crash as a student, previously precariously sitting on the edge of an armchair, tumbled to the floor.

Miranda leapt up from the couch and the room slowly began to grow back to its usual decibel level, people watching us carefully out of the corners of their eyes. I immediately took Miranda's place with my legs. She wouldn't be getting that spot back. Ever.

"Alice, Marlene," Miranda began a bit desperately, looking from one emotionless face to the other. "I've already gone over everything with Lily, but you guys deserve an explanation, too."

"You bet your skinny arse we do," Marlene sniffed haughtily.

"It may be skinny, but it's still quite fine – " started a sixth year from the staircase.

Whoa, talk about déjà vu.

Marlene and Miranda once again simultaneously cast silencios, but I quickly shouted "Protego!" before the spells could reach their intended target.

"We don't want glitter in the common room!" I shouted at Miranda and Marlene.

"What?" Alice asked me, giving me the you-are-most-definitely-out-of-your-mind stare.

"Glitter," I explained. "The herpes of the arts and crafts world?"

This time my statement was followed by an indignant "what?" from all three of my friends.

"Never you mind, no one understands my brilliance," I whined childishly, collapsing back on the couch. Alice, Marlene, and Miranda settled on the floor in front of me.

"Alice, Marlene," Miranda started off cautiously, "I never meant to betray any one of us. I thought that our lives would be better off without the...bothersome, irritable, soul-sucking - "

"Get back to the point," I barked from my position in a bored tone.

"Well, you know. The Marauders. I thought that by siding with Eva's plan we'd be able to get rid of them for once and for all," Miranda finished uncertainly.

"Eva's plan? You mean that idiotic bet between her and Lily about James?" Marlene snorted.

"Why didn't you tell us this, then? We could've talked about it," Alice argued. "We could've sorted things out before completely messing them up."

"We're friends, Miranda. That's what friends do," Marlene agreed icily.

"I don't know! I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to solve all of our problems, the issues with Eva and Jane, the troubles with Potter and Black, it just…at the time I couldn't tell you. I couldn't even tell myself what I was doing," Miranda finished ashamedly.

"Well." Marlene bit her lip.

"But then I got way in over my head," Miranda said. "They're messed up, they really are – every minute of their lives is hostile gossip, shallow reflection, just the worst pile of shit you could ever imagine. I got sick of it."

"Serves you right," Marlene said self-righteously, "for ever associating with those two clods – oof!"

Miranda had thrown herself at Marlene in a rib-crushing bear hug.

"FORGIVE ME!" she wailed. "FORGIVE ME, PLEASE! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'D I DO IF YOU DIDN'T – "

"Oh, shut your face, silly," Marlene soothed. "Of course I forgive you."

And that was that.

It was amazing, in retrospect, how we all got over the matters so quickly. But I guess we were holding out for Miranda forever, and we knew something wasn't right in her mind when she joined Eva and Jane's living nightmare. It felt settled to have our group back in place, everyone's mind at ease, guilt free, apologies taken and actions forgiven in words and expressions.

If only life was always this easy, this natural.

I was about to ruin the happy resolution by sing-song-ing "Diggorryyyy" to our refreshed company, but I was interrupted before I could even so much as get the first syllable from my lips.

"Now, what did you mean by glitter being herpes?" Alice asked me inquisitively.

"Erm – "

"Herpes? Oh, that STD is a devilish little blighter," James said, interrupting our conversation as he entered through the portrait hole with Sirius and Remus.

"You would know," I remarked.

Remus gave us a casual wave and settled on the floor. Sirius, taking one look at Miranda and Marlene side-by-side, widened his eyes and fled immediately to the boys' dormitory.

It was quite hilarious. He tripped over three tables and two people before flailing his way up the stairs.

"Wonder what's gotten into him," Marlene commented, voice strained. Miranda glared at her.

"Back to the point," Alice interrupted before things could get worse. "Why is glitter herpes?"

"Glitter, the herpes of arts and crafts," I proclaimed, waving my arms around authoritatively. Or stupidly. There was a fine line between the two.

"And why would that be?" Potter said, lifting my legs and sitting on the couch before resettling my legs on his lap.

"Meh," I said, righting myself again and scooting as far from Potter as possible. He rolled his eyes.

"You wouldn't budge up," he explained, and it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Glitter? Herpes?" he prompted.

"They're herpes because they never come off," I said. "Seriously, once there's glitter, there's always glitter."

"That sort of sucks," James commented.

"That could come in handy, though," Miranda mentioned thoughtfully. "If you really wanted to annoy someone, that is."

"Don't give him any ideas," Remus warned Miranda, but James's face had already lit up with excitement.

"Hey, you shouldn't be concentrating on pranks, James," Alice said. "The quidditch game's coming up in less than two weeks."

"The team's fine," James assured her, but Marlene shook her head.

"You've got to be kidding me," Marlene argued. "MacDonald's been in a terrible state lately, she just broke up with Finn Wiley yesterday. When's the last time you had practice?"

"Two days ago," James said, now a bit worried. "The two did seem on edge."

"Well, now they're gonna be off the edge," I warned. "You might want to get some counseling for the two. They've refused to even so much as look at each other for the entire day."

"Since when did you care about quidditch, Evans?" James said teasingly.

"Since the Holyhead Harpies beat Puddlemere United last fall," I rattled off. "The wronski feint that Rhea Hawksmith pulled was quite something, and the chasers were at their absolute best. I'd never seen a better play before. It was almost like their hands were magnetized to the quaffle, and they knew exactly how to get past Puddlemere's keeper."

James gaped at me while Remus rolled his eyes and Marlene, Miranda, and Alice smiled smugly.

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" I asked uncomfortably.

"You…you follow quidditch?" James gasped, amazed.

"Well, of course I do, you idiot," I responded, flushed slightly. "I love the sport."

James's expression was now positively euphoric.

"Oh, marry me now, Evans, before I explode with love!" James cried.

"I'll take a rain check on that one," I responded dryly.

"But…I thought you always hated quidditch!" James gawked, still surprised, that silly grin plastered on his face. It looked slightly…cute.

What? Just being honest here.

"I just hated quidditch players," I corrected him, sending him a pointed stare.

"That's besides the point!" James hollered, catching the attention of the entire common room. "That's – you're – I LOVE you, Lily!" James shouted at last, snatching me off the couch and swinging me around in the air.

"James – Potter, put me down! I swear – "

"Aw, look at them," Marlene sighed happily. "What a pair."

"That is if they don't kill themselves or each other first," Remus muttered appreciatively.

* * *

It was moments before dinner, and trouble was brewing.

"Do you have the bucket?"

"Yeah, it's right…here."

"Good. Engorgio."

There was the sound of air being sucked into a vacuum and a metallic twang.

"Excellent, that should do it."

"Did you get the glue?"

"Mister Masque's Finest Ultra-Stick Adhesive. Got it from Dervish and Banges over the summer in case the need ever arose."

"And look, it did! I've got the ten bags of glitter – a lot heavier than you'd guess, actually. Do you have the feathers, Pete?"

"Yeah. We still had some leftovers from the Girl's Dormitory joke, so I brought those, too."

"Brilliant! I seems we're all set then – "

I stepped out from my corner.

"Hello, Potter."

James froze, his back to me. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all gaped at me, horrified, and all four simultaneously threw whatever suspicious objects they'd been holding into a gigantic bucket directly in front of them.

It was seriously gigantic. I'm talking massive proportions here. A troll could've used it to bathe.

Maybe that should be the Marauder's professions...making troll-bathing buckets...

"Lily!" Remus squeaked, bringing me back to the scene. "I thought you had a break right now – "

"I was just coming back from the library," I said sugar-sweetly. "I was actually under the impression you'd be there. Emmeline Vance was looking for you, saying something about a one-on-one study session."

"One-on-one, eh?" Sirius said, turning to Remus with a smirk.

"Stuff it," Remus blushed crimson. Meanwhile, Potter was up to something.

"James, what are you doing?" I asked frostily.

James stopped in the middle of unloading a bag of glitter into the gigantic metal pail.

"Er…nothing," James said, letting go of the bag and immediately running a hand through his hair repeatedly. I sighed, a bit frustrated. The action no longer annoyed me. In fact, I was beginning to realize that maybe James had a point – he did look a tad sexier with his hair messy.

No. BAD LILY.

"What's in the bucket?" I asked innocently. James and the Marauders moved automatically in front of it, doing their best to shield the thing from view. They were, however, extremely unsuccessful seeing as the bucket was about a head taller than James, the tallest of them.

"Feathers," Peter answered honestly.

"A bit of glue," Sirius replied smoothly, albeit shakily.

"And maybe, oh, I don't know, maybe several stones of glitter?" Remus whimpered, triggering a vicious elbow-to-the-ribs from James.

"The herpes of arts and crafts," I said dryly.

Without warning James leapt from the bucket to my feet, groveling on the stone floor, tugging at my robes.

"Please, don't tell anyone, don't castrate me, don't hurt us!" James begged, all pride and dignity left to rot. I desperately wanted someone to take a picture of this sweet, sweet moment. I could imagine the headlines._'This just in! James Potter, recently seen becoming a subservient puddle of goo at the Great Lily Evan's Feet. Read more about his impending slavery on page 8.'_

"I'm not going to do anything, James," I said humorously. "Carry on with your misdeeds."

"I – wha?" James stopped begging long enough to ogle me for a second, mouth agape. His glasses had gone slightly crooked, and his hair was messier than ever due to his nervousness.

"You heard me," I said, covering my giggles with my hand. "Carry on."

"But – don't you want to know why - ?" James spluttered incoherently, gesturing to the gigantic bucket and its contents.

"Do I?" I replied, arching an eyebrow.

There was a silence, and then James's face split into a fantastic grin.

"Merlin, you're wonderful, Lily!" James cried, leaping up from the ground and snatching me up, hugging me tightly and pressing a quick kiss to my forehead.

I blushed deeply. "Stop it," I mumbled begrudgingly, trying to hide my embarrassment (and happiness) in his shoulder.

Wait. Happiness.

I wasn't happy.

No, not at all, and I didn't like Potter holding me.

Why was Potter still holding me?

Why?

"Oh, look at the bird, she's blushing!" Sirius called triumphantly.

I gave him the finger before wandering outside.

I could imagine the headlines now.._.'This just in: Lily Evans is once again a hormonal pile of goo at the Great James Potter's Feet. More on her impending demise in an upcoming special issue.'_

What did I just get myself into?

* * *

In the middle of the Great Hall on this quiet Monday night, amidst the chatter of mates, the hum of the day's end, and the comfort of good dinner, terror struck.

I dropped my spoon in my soup with a quite splosh and turned to Alice, horrified.

Alice, however, was a bit preoccupied. Frank had just sat down and they were busily engaging in conversation and other, erm, romantic actions.

I turned to Marlene to express my horror. Marlene would have none of it – she was in the middle of arguing heatedly with Mary MacDonald over next week's quidditch game.

I turned to Miranda, but she wasn't there.

So, to no one in particular, I shouted, "Halloween's next week!"

"That it is, Lily dear," Remus said from across the table, looking up from his meal and quirking a skeptical eyebrow.

"You're Head Girl," Peter commented from beside him. "Shouldn't you keep track of these sort of things?"

"You two." I muttered, narrowing my eyes viciously. I then repeated myself, a bit louder. "You two."

"Yes?" Remus said expectantly.

"I see through your plans," I exclaimed triumphantly, pointing an accusing finger in Remus's bemused face. "The Halloween prank! That's what it is, your scheme, your practical joke -_ impractical _joke! Glitter, feathers – buckets, glue!" I cackled madly, throwing my arms in the air. "I know the plot!"

By now Remus and Peter were staring at me, with transfixed but horrified expressions akin to those who'd just witnessed a terrible accident.

"I'd say you've gone bloody mad, Evans," Peter exclaimed.

"Do you have a fever, Lily?" Alice said, detaching herself from Frank, her hand fluttering to my forehead.

"Never mind," I mumbled in to my soup, fishing for my lost spoon. "No one understands me anyway."

"Truer words have never been spoken," Remus smirked.

My soup somehow ended up on Remus's lap, but if you ask me, I had no idea what happened.

* * *

**I'm going to be at camp for the next month-ish, so don't be expecting updates for a very, very long while. Meanwhile I'm going to plot out the skeleton of the rest of this fic so I'll be filled with ideas when I return.**

**By the way, if you didn't catch my disclaimer at the top, the whole "glitter is the herpes of arts and crafts" idea belongs to the moste hilarious Demetri Martin!**

**Review, yeah? Makes me happy :)**

**-.x.**


	16. Astonishing, Attractive Catastrophes

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Nah.

**Filler.**

* * *

I eyed him suspiciously from around the bookshelf. He seemed to be pretty intent on studying, a little frown etched on his face, lines of concentration forming on his forehead. Every now and again he muttered something to himself and checked over his work with the textbook.

Or _was_it a textbook? For all I knew, it could've been the Marauder's Guide to World Domination and How to Annoy Lily Evans Along the Way.

(It's a highly popular volume.)

I'd been spending the whole morning trying to sneak around James, and find out as much as I could about the Halloween Feast Prank. Potter was an easy Marauder, at least for me. I could break him.

I cautiously peered at my surroundings before returning my gaze to the messy mop of black hair situated at the table in front of me. Leaning out awkwardly from the bookshelf as to get a better look at what Potter was reading and what exactly he was doing, I strained my limbs and my neck, precariously leaning out from my bookshelf at an angle.

I hung there several seconds, concentrating on James, until –

"Lily?"

To call me "surprised" would be an understatement. I let out a little shriek and, of course, let go of the bookshelf, toppling down to the ground in the oddest of ways as if I'd just been shot with a full body bind.

From the ground I saw James's head shoot up from his notes and swivel around the air, searching for the source of the small scream I'd let forth. However, as I was at present making friends with the floor and James was looking around in the air, he didn't spy my rather bruised form lying just a few feet away from his seat.

"Jeez, Evans, someone would think that you're actually up to something suspicious by the way you're acting right now."

I looked up to see Sirius Black, the one whose call had caused my disastrous plummet to the ground. "Just help me up, Black," I grumbled, reaching out a hand, which he took, chuckling all the while as he heaved me up from the floor.

"Glad to be of service," Sirius replied, still giggling a little. "So, do tell. Why were you spying on my best mate, there?"

"Research," I said in a clipped tone.

"Taking pictures for your scrapbook?" Sirius teased.

"In fact, yes," I responded. "Wait here, still as a statue, while I go fetch my camera." I proceeded to make my quick escape, but it was interrupted as Sirius flung out his arm and nearly clotheslined me.

"Hold it, Evans," Black said suavely. "You're not getting away so easily." He slowly drew me back towards him and hid me behind the bookshelf, peering around it as to see James, too.

"You're not getting a word out of me," I said stoutly. "Unless, of course, you're willing to give something up in return." I sent him a pointed look which he returned with a baffled gaze.

"No idea _what_ the ruddy hell you're talking about," Sirius said, a voice that almost convinced me that he_hadn't_been fooling around with my friends for more than a week.

"Do the names 'Marlene' and 'Miranda' ring a bell?" I asked sternly.

"…that." Sirius sighed, letting out a disgruntled huff. "That's besides the point. What are you doing, sneaking up on James here? Planning an attack kiss, perhaps?"

"Never you mind," I replied. "I just want to see if he's planning anything suspicious."

"Already skipped past the lovey dovey phase of the relationship, then? Moving on to neurotic overprotective mode?"

"Would you quit it with the relationship talk! James and I are friends, and hardly that, even," I hissed.

Sirius just raised his eyebrows knowingly at me. I almost blushed.

"Why don't you just give the bloke a chance for once? You obviously love him," Sirius said as if it were the simplest matter in history.

"There are no 'chances' and I do not _love_him," I disagreed haughtily. "James and I have a very level, mutually agreeable relationship. He is not anymore interested in me than I am in him."

"And you honestly believe that?" Sirius said in shock.

"Well, of course," I affirmed.

"You," Sirius started, "are clueless. Mutual, my arse. You're beginning to mess with his head, you know that? Not that you haven't already, Merlin knows he's impossibly screwed – "

"What _are _you rambling about?" I said a bit keener than I had intended.

"Marauder code," Sirius muttered to himself before shaking his head, then turned to me and said, "Things that you should be aware of and aren't, because of all the wastes of knowledge taking up the rest of your brain."

"Are we quite done here?" I said sardonically, upset that my spying session had been interrupted and that Sirius was confusing me.

"Not yet," Sirius said. "Why were you spying? You haven't told me yet."

"I told you," I insisted. "I just want to see what he's up to."

"…he's studying," Sirius said skeptically, than straightened up and gave this some thought. "Though that does seem to be a bit out of character."

"Something suspicious is going on!" I insisted. "And…I think _you're _in on it too."

"Wha - ?" Sirius frowned for a moment, before looking over at James, a look of realization dawning on his face. "Never mind, I know exactly what's up. You'll just be on your way now, then, Evans, don't waste your precious time here – "

"Sirius, no – wait – " but he was pushing me out through the library doors. "This isn't over!" I called as he succeeded against my struggles and walked back toward the bookshelves. "I still have to talk to you! About my friends! And…this!" I was waving my hands like a ruddy idiot at this point.

"Bloody gits," I muttered as I began to walk down the hallway. "Keeping secrets like a bunch of children, fools, the lot of them."

Honestly, all I'd wanted to do was find out why James hadn't been in the Head common room lately. I had been trying to weasel out information about the Halloween Feast Prank for the past few days, and while he did seem surprised and rather pleased at my misleading advances, he hadn't given me a word that could stop their hideous prank from coming into play.

I trooped back to the Gryffindor common room where I knew I could find some friendship.

"Come back so early from the library, love?" Marlene asked, and I turned around to see her lounging by the fire. "What's the hurry? Books finally given you a paper cut on your eye?"

"No," I huffed. "James still won't tell me what the prank is, so I resorted to…subtle research."

"Spying," Marlene corrected.

"Semantics. Anyway, I found out absolutely nothing, and got in a trifle with Sirius, and by the way – " I paused here and glanced at her blushing cheeks – "I have something to talk to you about. We've reunited with Miranda, and she's been cooperating most gracefully lately, as gracefully as Miranda can, at least," I tagged on at last minute. "Don't you think it's time you drop the act with Sirius before you hurt someone's feelings?"

Marlene bit her lip. "Lily, I have to tell you something."

Oh, no. I knew it even before Marlene said it.

"I'm, well. I might…might, possibly, maybe…fancy? Yeah, that's the word. Might, y'know, fancy him a tad. Just a tad," Marlene reassured me in her very Marlene-ish way.

I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Bugger! Flubber, tigerismus, polyoptical plasmius – "

"Lily?" Marlene said worriedly.

"I'm sorry," I apologized, regaining composure. "It's just this isn't the best news."

"I know," Marlene said. "I can't believe I ever did this in the first place, it's so stupid of me, so unlike me-"

I glared at her.

"Or, you know, maybe exactly like me," she admitted. "But! But! I believe we should also have Miranda spill her side of the story. You know, the whole Diggory affair and everything. We need to reconnect, blah, blah, blah…" Marlene trailed off.

"I know what you mean," I sighed. Suddenly, my eyes lit up. "That's it! We need time to reconnect! We'll just have a girl's night on Wednesday – "

"Or Thursday – " interjected Marlene.

"Or Thursday," I agreed. I smiled at the thought. "It's really what we need, isn't it?"

"Productive morning for you, Lily," Marlene said, smiling affably. "Now let's see if we can get a midmorning snack."

We chattered excitedly all the way down to the kitchens.

* * *

It was my free period, and I peered around my lonely dorm room, desperate for something to capture my attention. There were times when the Head's dormitories were an absolute bore. I sighed in frustration and threw myself onto my four poster, bouncing a bit as the mattress sprung gently.

Turning over onto my back, I gazed at the ceiling.

_I've got to find out about that Halloween Prank before things get too out of hand. But Potter has been so busy lately, I haven't been able to properly interrogate him about it. Not to mention the quidditch game's coming up, so he's acting like a batty old codger and jumps whenever I try to talk to him._

_Bugger. The fool. Not…no, I meant that as two separate phrases. Don't actually bugger the fool. That would be extremely disturbing._

I had to stop thinking and escape from myself. I was beginning to drive myself absolutely bonkers.

Stepping out of my suffocating room and my crazy thoughts, I slowly descended the steps into the common room to see who else other than James Potter, vehemently ripping up a piece of paper.

"Hey, Potter?" I said softly.

Clearly shocked, James shot up from his seat and his hand went immediately to his hair. "Li_ly_?" he cried, his voice cracking and jumping several octaves.

I collapsed into a heap of giggles.

"Honestly, it's not that funny," James said indignantly.

"Oh, it's funny," I said between gasps of laughter. "You sounded like a little mouse, how cute – "

"Shut up," he grumbled, going back to ripping his parchment.

"And what are you doing there?" I said, regaining my composure and joining him on the couch.

"Quidditch tactics," he explained, and on the rips of parchment I could see tiny squiggling lines and a simple outline of the Quidditch field. The lines were moving, and appeared to me like tiny black inchworms.

"Ick," I said. "Looks like bugs."

James laughed. "Yes, Lily. That's exactly what I intended to do. My new plan, see? Distract the Slytherins with worms, it always works – "

"It's an idea," I said airily. "I could dump a bucket on them, if you'd like?"

"Would you please?" James said, sighing in exhaustion. "I'd be so grateful."

"My pleasure, my pleasure," I responded, leaning back against the cushions. There was an awkward silence, which James chose to break by putting his arm casually around my shoulders.

"Potter," I grumbled.

"Did I do something?" he said innocently, his eyes wide and doe-like behind his glasses. I could still see the mischief in his expression.

Ah, here was the Potter I knew so well!

"Yeah. Kindly remove your arm from around my person, unless you wish to live with one less limb."

"I'd sacrifice anything for you, Evans," he said easily, his fingers dancing along my back. I tried heartily to hold back a nervous tremble.

"You're gonna need that arm for the Quidditch match," I remarked lazily.

"I can throw with my left," James replied. His fingers were starting to inch lower. I pretended not to notice.

"Yeah, you'd probably end up hitting the stands instead of the goalpost – HEY!"

There was a loud audible slap as my bra strap was snapped against my back.

"POTTER!"

It was too late – in conniptions of laughter, he had vanished up the stairs of his dorm.

I was going to get _revenge_. The git was asking for it, and I was going to hand it to him sweetly on a silver platter.

* * *

"Complex human transfigurations are, though extremely difficult, very useful in many situations. Full human transfigurations are often looked down upon, as the one who has been transfigured loses their state of mind, and cannot return to their original form unless acted upon by another – "

This is boring

"Partial human transfiguration, however, allows one to pick up some otherwise inhuman capabilities while still having a civilized control over their thoughts and actions."

I slowly wrote down McGonagall's words, barely heeding her any attention at all. My eyes roamed around the room to find something worthy of interest, versus the lectures of my transfiguration professor.

If only her classes weren't so boring! Then I might make some progress.

My gaze settled on the window, where an unusual sunlight was trickling through the glass panes. It was an especially sunny day and I hadn't gotten outside since Sunday – I'd been holed up trying to finish my Potions, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts essays. So far, the week had been rather stressful, not to mention my growing worries about the Marauder's Halloween prank and how James was getting more frustrated every day, as the Quidditch match was a mere three days away.

Speaking of James.

Since his incredible display of maturity in the Head Common Room, he had deteriorated to a terrible level of drowsiness, eyes groggy and hair even messier than I thought possible. He was tugging on his tie, loosening it and retying it absently, staring at the front of the room with empty eyes. His lips were slightly parted, and his glasses were slowly sliding down the bridge of his long, slender nose, the lenses catching the sunlight and reflecting in his hazel eyes.

Oh! Those eyes, like they'd captured the golden sunlight and melted in forest ponds, framed by those wire glasses, that were for some strange reason so..._sexy _all of a sudden. The high cheekbones and the distinctive nose - bone structure, my brain said. What beautiful bone structure. And his hair, always so messy and unkempt, looked carelessly flawless in its own miracle disaster, brushing over his forehead, looking so silky and soft.

From somewhere, I heard a loud, embarrassing sigh. The classroom went deathly quiet.

It took me a minute to register that all eyes were on me – questioning, smirking glances, and especially insinuative expressions coming from the faces of Marlene, Alice, Miranda, and…Sirius.

Wait. What?

…_oops._

I had sighed! Sighed at the sights of James Potter, of all people – bloody MORON, idiotic bint! – oh, damn, now even Professor McGonagall was looking my way.

Glancing over at Potter, I realized I had caught his attention, too.

"Do you have something to say, Ms. Evans?" McGonagall asked wryly.

"Nothing, Professor, sorry," I mumbled, mortified. I tried not to notice the small smile playing on McGonagall's pursed lips.

How did SHE know?

Thoroughly humiliated and blushing furiously, I glared at my desk, imagining lasers shooting out of my eyes and boring two holes through my transfiguration notes. I tried to ignore Miranda's incessant sniggering and poking as she laughed audibly at my embarrassment.

What had come over me? This had never happened before! I had never so much as glanced at Potter and felt any such…_attraction _at all, and here I was, drooling over his bone structure.

No. Those were utter lies. Potter was…well. I had never denied that before, had I? His personality had just been nonsense enough to ignore the finer aspects of…his nature.

But now, all of a sudden, I was finding…I was…maybe? Maybe slightly attracted to nonsense.

Just slightly, not a bit more.

WHAT?

As my sudden realization crashed down on me, it seemed as if my whole world was catastrophically falling apart.

Potter? James Potter? What the bloody hell? When had THIS happened?

He was…my enemy! My sworn nemesis. My tormentor, through all my years at Hogwarts, my stalker, the absolute bane of my existence. His incessant pestering had gotten me in many a sticky situation.

Sometimes literally sticky. I remember when he enchanted my chair so I couldn't get off of it until I gave him a kiss. I had cursed him and only performed the counter curse after he had lifted the charm. And of course, the idiot had grabbed me afterwards and tried to kiss me anyway.

So what was THIS? All those years of resistance, resentment, and scorn, thrown away all of a sudden because of my damn estrogen.

Hormones! Curse thee.

I heard muffled laughter next to me, and realized that I had hissed my thoughts out loud.

The blush increased, and Miranda's giggles echoed through my head for the rest of class.

I mean, it was hormones, right? I hadn't actually _fallen _for Potter.

I was hormonal.

That…that was all.

* * *

**I'll try to update as soon as I can, which probably won't be soon at all. Sorry! Tell me what you think? Send in a review! Please, I'm beeggin you.**

**Hmm. I'm not going to correct that.**

**So long,**

**.x.**


	17. St Mango's

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

***IMPORTANT READ THIS PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU***

**Hey. A little note about this chapter update - it's not technically a new chapter, just a majorly reworked version of the last one. And by major, I mean MAJOR. I took out the entire last section (don't worry, it's going to appear in the next chapter that I'm working on), and put in an entirely different section (that's also much longer). So I'm uploading this as a "new" chapter, then deleting the old copy so people know I've fixed it and won't be confused when an actual new chapter comes out.**

**By the way, that new section is imperative to this story's progress. Which means that this chapter. Is. Progress. **

**Thanks for reading (or not reading) my author's rambles. If you haven't read what I've said, you probably should, because it's important. But now I'm just wasting your time.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Mortification. Nothing but utter mortification, coursing through my veins.

Karma! Curses, a thousand curses, I damn you to the fiery pits of Hades, where your nerves may burn and your skin may melt and your bones may disintegrate into pitiful dust –

Yeah, I know this is impossible. Don't ruin my fun.

The rest of transfiguration was torture. I couldn't look anywhere except at my notes, which swam in and out of focus as my cheeks burned and Miranda's giggles echoed and bounced around my brain. As soon as the bell rang I decided to stay back and wait for the rush of people to disappear, as to avoid any unwanted confrontation.

"Ms. Evans, are you alright?" McGonagall inquired a bit suspiciously.

"Never better," I replied, smiling tightly. "Just finishing up the last of the notes, pardon – " I gestured at the blackboard.

"Yes, well," McGonagall said, obviously a bit confused. "I hope you don't mind closing the door behind you after you're done."

"Of course, Professor," I assured her, and after making sure she was gone and the classroom empty, I quickly packed my things up and planned my escape route.

I ducked and rolled beneath a desk, coming to a halt just before the doorway. I peered out into the hallway, checking for signs of human activity, before slithering out and coming to a stand against the wall. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hello," a pleasant voice said from beside me.

"Fuck!"

I jumped a foot in the air, tripped over the hem of my robes, and as I began to fall, I resolutely accepted my fate of complete humiliation. Goodbye, my days as a dignified witch - so long, my sanity, my hopes, my dreams...

And hello to absolute horror. A pair of rather strong arms caught me and held me against a warm, welcoming body.

What a nice body it was, my brain sighed.

"Gotcha," Potter laughed happily, holding me closer.

Potter.

_Of course_ it was Potter. It was always Potter.

He smelled very, very nice.

"No!" I cried, my situation suddenly dawning on me. Struggling against his hold, I shouted, "Let go of me!", grabbing his arms and wrenching them away.

And while James released me kindly enough, my traitorous fingers stayed locked around his wrists.

What nice wrists.

"Sorry," I grumbled, even though I wasn't sorry at all. I was still thrilling at the heat of his body, and how I had just fit into his embrace like a puzzle piece. I let go of James's hands, a bit more forcefully than what was really necessary, and turned my back on him so I couldn't see the elated, about-to-combust-with-laughter expression written across his ego-inflated head.

On other standards, however, his head was actually quite nice – what with the sex hair, and all. And the eyes, and the lips, the tracings of the cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the glasses –

SHUT UP.

What was my issue? What was…THIS? I was turning into an estrogen controlled, overly hormonal, whiny, simpering fangirl.

"Is something the matter, Lily?" James asked my back, amused with a tinge of genuine concern. My resolve softened for a second, to my disapproval. Where was the awesomely awesome awesomeness, the antidote to the Potter Poison? Had it deserted me in my moment of weakness? Though the way things were shaping up, this "moment" of weakness was beginning to feel like a lifetime of tragedy.

"Oh, nothing's the matter, nothing at all," I babbled. "I just sighed at you, for Merlin's sake, sighed at you! Like some obsessive, devoted little schoolgirl. I am nothing more than a little schoolgirl."

"Technically," James commented, "you are a little schoolgirl. You're fairly little – " I harrumphed at this " – you go to school, and you're a girl, unless you have a very shocking confession to make."

"I am very feminine!" I shouted over my shoulder.

"Could you please turn around?" James sighed. "It's not as much fun to talk to your back as you apparently think it is."

"I'm going mad, James," I rambled. "I just completely humiliated myself – well, you were there to see it, you were probably laughing with the rest of them, basking in your sexy glory." I heard James choke slightly behind me. "And in that moment, that stupid, stupid moment, I succumbed to natural instincts and…y' know, sighed. I sighed. And I regret it." I spun around to James's surprise and hollered, "I REGRET IT!"

"Fine, you regret it!" James assured me, holding my arms as if to calm me down. He was rubbing pleasant circles on my wrists, and I nearly shivered with pleasure.

Fuck! No!

"Lily, calm down, or I think you'll be having a grand old time with the staff at St. Mungo's," James said soothingly. Except his words were far from soothing, and his actions even further.

"ST. MUNGO'S?" I roared, and James stepped back a bit, letting go of my wrists. The little demon inside of me cried, "No! Come back and hold me again. Idiot."

At least my internal devils could still insult properly.

"Calm, Evans," James said, holding up his hands in a precautionary fashion.

"St. Mungo's," I muttered. Then repeated, "St. Mungo's."

"Yeah," James said slowly. "St. Mungo's. You know, the big magical hospital where you can get better? Mentally," he muttered as an afterthought.

I calmly straightened myself out, but my mind was whirring a mile a minute, and this little gem came out of my mouth: "Have you ever noticed how 'mungo' is only one letter away from 'mango'?"

James looked utterly lost.

"St. Mango's," I said faintly. His expression grew more and more baffled. "St. Mango's. I want to go there." A deranged giggle slipped out from my lips. "St. Mango's!"

And with that I rushed out of the hallway, relieved that I'd finally accomplished escape. I hoped James hadn't suffered too much brain damage on my behalf.

As I power-walked expertly out of the corridor, I contemplated where I should go next, marveling in the humidity and warmth of the castle in late fall. Merlin knew I had a complicated knot of troubles to sort out, and neither the Gryffindor common room nor the Head's dorm seemed like an ideal place to go. Passing by the familiar tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy with his ballet-dancing trolls, I stopped.

Musing over the painting and even putting a hand to my chin for effect, I leant backward as Barnabas took the trolls through a tricky arabesque. He seemed so enthusiastic, freedom and laughter in his warm eyes.

How I wished to be him! Unrestrained from the troubles of reality, cut from the ropes of imprisonment and liberated from the cage of society -

Who was I kidding, waxing poetic. Barnabas was crazy in a hat.

I paced back and forth by the painting, not sure whether I should go to the head dorms or Gryffindor tower, as the most amazing thing happened. The blank stone wall across from the tapestry began to shift as bricks gave way to smooth glass panes, and before I knew it, a sliding panel had appeared before me.

This was ridiculous. Inside the room I could see trolls in tutus, practicing ballet like their lives depended on it.

Gaping at the room across from me, I did a double take, then glanced down both ends of the hallway to see if anyone else had observed what had just happened.

There were no witnesses to the dancing trolls. Except me. And from what I could see through the doors, their eyes were welcoming me in with warmhearted goodness.

I know it's usually not a good thing to listen to kind-eyed dancing trolls in an unknown, magically appearing room, but my mental state was too unstable to actually listen to the frantic logic squeaking away at the back of my mind. Entranced, and with a silly, inexplicable grin plastered on my face, I walked into the troll's dance studio.

Tinkling piano music met my ears as I walked into the fresh, cool air of the strange room, and instead of meeting the distinctive stench of troll, the soothing scent of fruity goodness met my nostrils. I eagerly sought the source of this tantalizing aroma, completely forgetting about the cheerful trolls frolicking near the ballet bar. My eyes immediately snapped to a large fruit tart, baked fresh and to absolute perfection, waiting patiently for me on a small stool.

This room was perfect.

I looked around to gather my surroundings, and found myself in a dance studio lined with mirrors one side, and glass walls on the other three, overlooking what couldn't possibly have been real – a beautiful, cloudy mountainside on one end of the room, a dramatic ocean sunset on the other, and lastly, a calming valley of green grass and daffodils opposite the direction I was facing. I panicked for a second, trying to find the door again, but saw that it had shifted to the mirrored side of the room as the trolls danced around it.

Edging closer to the tart and suspiciously peering about, I could see no others (besides the trolls) that could steal my perfect pastry away – so without further ado, I conjured up a cushion and snatched the tart from the stool and plopped down on the floor, facing the meadow and the open sky. The tart was heavenly and as I sat and devoured its deliciousness, dancing trolls behind me and daffodils before me, sane thought began to creep back into my mind.

At first my logic, it seemed, was a little jarred, likely from being in its comatose state for much longer than it should have (and also probably because it was waking up to the most illogical room I'd ever set foot in). But once it'd got its bearings, it unleashed a torrent of questions.

_What is this place? How in the hell are you surrounded by dancing trolls and three different geographical locations? Is that tart safe to eat? What the fuck am I going to do about James Potter?_

As I couldn't really answer the first three accurately, I decided to settle on the last one. Not a moment too soon and I realized – I couldn't quite answer that one, either.

Maybe I should start at profiling. That was always a good first step.

_James Potter, i.e., the Bane of Your Existence and the Man of Excellent Bone Structure Who Maybe Isn't As Bad As You Previously Had Thought (MEBSWMIABAYPHT for not so short)._

_The boy is bloody gorgeous, you have to admit. Go on. Admit it. You already sighed in front of an entire classroom, drool practically flooding out of your mouth._

_But he's a childish, immature, arrogant little fuckwit that doesn't deserve a profile. Or your attention._

_Except for maybe he does._

_Because he's really not that bad. He makes you laugh. He makes you so confused you want to explode (or make him explode), but he's so genuine. He's made you feel better loads of times, like when you had that detention, or when you had that terrible dream. He likes you despite the fact that you are certifiably out of your mind. He actually carries out his head duties._

_And he takes you seriously when you're trying, and he laughs with you when you're happy, and he's incredibly brave. Incredibly dedicated. And you like him._

_You're so far gone, Lily. And you're so blind to think that it's something new. He's been trying to be there forever, and he's never given up, and you never gave him a chance, and now you're not so sure if you should, and nothing makes sense anymore, does it? _

I can't just forget the past.

I took another bite of the tart, my voracious eating slowing down to a more acceptable pace.

I can't just forget the past. I've never forgotten things with Severus. I can't erase the times I saw him torn down by James, the mockery, the complete humiliation. I hated the spite I saw in his eyes. I absolutely hated it, down to my core, the fact that someone with everything could do such horrible things to someone with nothing.

But Severus isn't the same anymore. James isn't the same anymore. Not in the least bit.

And I don't think I'm the same anymore, either.

_There's no other reason why you would be thinking this, right now, right here._

I like James.

I like James Potter.

Fuck.

My fork clattered to the floor as I finished the very last bit of the fruit tart, but as I let go of the plate and stood up, the room began to spin and the beautiful views began to vanish. The piano, playing ever so softly in the background, disappeared completely, and the trolls were gone, too. I was standing in a plain, empty room.

What the fuck?

There was a sudden _pop_ behind me and I spun around.

To my horror, a life-size picture of James Potter, clad in sexy Quidditch gear, was plastered on the whitewashed walls. He grinned at me wickedly, raising a perfect, arched eyebrow that made me _blush_, even though for Merlin's sake, it was a poster.

James got me even in _poster_ form.

"Bloody hell!" I shrieked, and scrambled away from the poster as fast as I could, but another _pop_ sounded off and another poster appeared – this time James, in nothing but scarlet and gold boxers, stretching and yawning and revealing _wonderful_ muscles on his gorgeous, gorgeous chest.

Another pop. Another poster. James, at a desk, frowning slightly and ruffling his hair, bending over an assignment with a quill in his other hand.

Fuck! I can't take all this beauty!

I rushed out the door and left the room behind me. The humidity of the Hogwarts corridor hit me like a brick wall, and for a second, I had trouble breathing and adjusting from the inexplicably air-conditioned nightmare room to the climate of the castle. You'd think a magical academy would learn some sort of climate control. They wouldn't have to pay for air conditioning, anyway.

I slumped against the wall, realizing that the door had disappeared altogether, in much the same manner as it had appeared to begin with. For some reason, I was relieved. A small smile refused to remove itself from my face.

I liked James Potter.

This was great. A step up. It was better to know than not know.

But what the ruddy _hell_ could I do now?

* * *

**That's it for today! Will update soon, I hope. Want to tell me if Lily's introverted-ness was annoying, or if I seemed like I was high while writing about dancing trolls? Then review, my good friends.**

**-.x.**


	18. Exploding Rainbows

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing but madness. Even that, sometimes, is a bit iffy.

**Hey! Look. A (rather slow, but something) new chapter.**

* * *

The walk back to the Head's Common Room was a torturous one, with feelings plaguing me from all different directions, jabbing at my poor brain and steadily increasing my levels of insanity.

Yeah, I didn't think it was possible either, but I was slowly growing madder. Mad-hatter madder.

I needed a few moments to clear my mind. And I definitely needed company to talk to – being by myself was slowly driving me crazy. Being with James, I realized, probably would drive me even crazier – so I turned tail and started heading straight for the Gryffindor Common Room.

The walk was therapeutic, with muted daylight filtering in through the open windows, and a chilly October breeze passing over my heated skin. It was a cloudy day, but the sunshine broke through at different intervals, casting golden light rays onto the Black Lake and the Forbidden Forest. As I passed through the corridor, eyes trained on the outside, I watched the Giant Squid's tentacle lazily reach up and slither down amongst the waters.

Too soon, I left the comforts of that corridor, and found myself face to face with the Fat Lady.

"Kneazel's whiskers," I muttered.

Upon realizing that the portrait hadn't swung open yet, I looked up to meet a rather comical expression. The Fat Lady looked positively horrified.

"What?" I asked, a bit offended. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, dear," she said in a high-pitched, nervous tone. Her voice wobbled uncertainly. "But please. Don't go in there."

"What's the problem?" I asked suspiciously, narrowing my eyes and leaning forward menacingly.

"I've been specifically informed not to respond to that," the Fat Lady said, unsure.

"Well, here I am, specifically informing you to answer my question," I said menacingly.

"Well, I don't have to listen to you, do I?" the Fat Lady responded, her voice steadily getting more and more shrill.

"_Well,_ it would be in your best interest if you did," I threatened, and her rosy cheeks paled quickly.

"Oh alright then, I'll let you in," the Fat Lady finally gave in. "Just make sure to tell them that I was forced. That I tried my absolute best to keep you out – "

"KNEAZLE'S WHISKERS!" I bellowed, and she shrieked and swung open immediately.

My jaw went slack and I nearly fell over. It was pure chaos that met my eyes.

It seemed as if a rainbow had decided to stroll into the Common Room and explode. There was multicolored goo oozing from every nook and cranny, and the slime covered the carpet and was slathered on the furniture. The always blazing fire had been reduced to a tiny crackle, the ooze filling up the fire place as it dripped down from the mantle. The walls were coated in purple and blue, the floor covered with varying shades of red, orange, and yellow – and green was splattered on the ceiling quite spectacularly.

"Shit!" five voices chorused.

One of them, I knew, was mine. The other four…well.

"You. GUYS. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL HAVE YOU DONE?" I screeched, and the multicolored students on the floor (I hadn't noticed them before, they had blended into the scenery quite nicely) struggled to cover their ears.

I saw the Marauders quivering in the corner, still standing and relatively spared of the rainbow mess. Sirius was clutching his ear drums and cowering away, while Peter was huddling and crossing himself repeatedly, apparently having broken down completely at my outburst. Remus was standing, utterly beside himself with frustration, seething and massaging his knotted brow with a goo-covered hand, the other at his waist in the perfect picture of intolerance.

And James. Well.

James.

He was standing there, eyes wide as saucers, hands limp at his sides, frozen in fear.

I wanted to maul him.

And do other things to his body, too, but that was…completely beside the point.

I took in their collective reactions, and felt more than saw the curious and wide eyes of the rainbow-coated students strewn across the room as they tried to gauge my reaction.

I was simmering with anger, the madness frothing in my gut, but I took a deep breath and counted backwards from ten, just like my dad had always told me to.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight –

Fuck this shit.

"You morons better get this cleaned up in the next ten minutes or Merlin help me, I will _cut._ You."

It was amazing how fast the Marauders went to work. They sprang from their frozen positions and began shooting spells haphazardly all over the room, showering the walls with fresh water and scourgifying students willy nilly. I watched, borderline amused, as Sirius pranced along the walls and cleared away masses of purple and blue slime, and Remus sent calculated jets of water into the ceiling corners in order to reach the farthest places.

James sent drying charms over the entire room, sending a strong breeze throughout the mass of confused and now spotless students, while Peter, since he was rather hopeless at cleaning spells, conjured up a small rag and went to work on the windows and mantelpiece.

In ten minutes, the chaos of the Gryffindor Common Room was a distant memory. The only reminder was the group of boys now standing, quite exhausted and out of breath, in the middle of the room, covered in the slime they'd created to begin with.

My mouth set in a grim line. All the Gryffindors debated whether or not they'd like to see the inevitable mutilation of the infamous Marauders that was sure to happen in the next moment or so – and, like rational human beings, they fled the Common Room faster than I could say "spattergroit."

The four boys stood resolutely in the center, facing their demise.

I narrowed my eyes and sent a quick, wordless _scourgify _in their direction.

"Sit," I commanded, and watched as the Marauders frantically tripped over each other in attempts to reach the nearest chair. The power of this was oddly satisfying. I decided to test it a bit further.

"Sirius!" I barked. He immediately stood at attention, pupils dilating with terror.

"Sing the alphabet," I demanded.

"What is this, a sobriety test?"

"Do it. NOW."

He jumped. "Um. Fuck. Wait. No, that's not how the alphabet works."

I heard in the corner James quietly singing the alphabet song to Sirius's words. "_Um, fuck, wait, no, Black's an idiot…"_

I sent a spell shooting in his direction and heard his muffled scream from behind me, watching Peter's rather horrified expression out of the corner of my eye.

Meanwhile, Sirius was having a small scale mental breakdown as he continued to struggle with the alphabet. He seemed to be stuck on "M".

I charmed his mouth shut and summoned the boys to the couch in front of the fireplace, where they all squished uncomfortably as I paced back and forth in front of them.

"You are going to explain to me exactly what just happened," I said calmly, staring straight ahead as I paced and not sparing their nervous bodies a single glance. "You are going to explain, and you are going to be absolutely _honest_, unless you want to suffer the consequences."

I turned to Remus, who was looking rather guilty and uncomfortable. "Start. NOW."

"Calm down, Lily," he stuttered to begin with, avoiding my murderous glare. "It honestly was a mistake. Believe me, we'd never try to cause this level of chaos before Hallow – " he stopped short.

"Halloween?" I finished eagerly.

"MOONY!" James and Peter cried out, and Sirius struggled against my silencio with a strangled _mmph!_

"I get the point!" Remus shouted exasperatedly. And as if I hadn't witnessed the spectacle myself, he turned to me and said apologetically, "I'm afraid I can't tell you, Lily."

"Right," I said weakly. "Just explain why the Common Room looked like unicorn poop, please."

While James and Sirius contemplated the many uses of unicorn poop with far-off, dreamlike expressions on their faces, Remus walked me through the mess that I'd found in the common room.

"Well, Hagrid made an interesting discovery the other day," Remus began in a business-like tone. "He was taking Fang for a walk in the Forbidden Forest and happened upon a variant species of a puffskein, except they were about this big – " Remus held his thumb and index finger about two inches apart " – rainbow colored, and made strange humming noises whenever Hagrid got close to them."

"Mmmph nnnmm – " Sirius interrupted. I took off the silencing charm and he almost screamed in relief.

"Dear Merlin, woman, don't ever do that again," he huffed. "But Hagrid gave 'em to us since he thought that they'd be less scared of us."

"Called you and James a 'couple o' pretty boys'," Peter added.

"How _can _you be scared of this?" James said, hands framing his face effeminately. Remus's hand shot out and thumped the back of his head.

"Can you lot be quiet for a second and just _answer_ my _question_?" I hissed.

"Right," Remus continued. "Anyway, Hagrid left about three of the puffskeins with us and we had them in the dorm for a few days."

Something seemed rather off about this, but I just nodded and gestured for Remus to continue.

"They were actually sort of adorable, and we named them – Harold, Arty, and Jumper, actually. They were frolicking around in our dormitory and seemed to be having the time of their lives there, just sort of sitting and warbling in the sunlight."

Sirius picked up. "Now, _I_ thought it would be a good idea to just show them off. They deserved some attention, and I knew that the girls would probably fawn over them like mother hens, so I brought them down to the Common Room for a bit."

"Things were going swell, Lily," James insisted. "They were just sitting on the mantelpiece and being all happy in such, and everyone was happy, and it was just a happy moment. Nothing but happiness."

"And that changed when…" I trailed off.

"Sirius _lost track_ of them while he was talking to some silly 4th years about them," James growled. "And of _course_ they just hopped off the mantelpiece, and then some idiot fed them Exploding Snap cards – "

"How does that even happen?" Sirius said, throwing his arms up with an indignant flair. "Such animal cruelty, I don't even – "

"It was your fault, you bint," interrupted Remus.

"Anyway, they sort of exploded," Peter said quietly, watching his friends roar at each other unabashedly.

I faced Peter in despair. "You made three adorable, rainbow colored Puffskeins explode by feeding them Snap cards?"

"Well, technically, it wasn't us feeding them the Snap cards. Some different guy, you know."

I buried my head in my hands and, sensing my moment of sadness, James, Sirius, and Remus all stopped shouting rather quickly.

"They packed quite a punch for such tiny little creatures," Sirius said thoughtfully.

"You are a cruel and terrible excuse for a human being," I said coldly, and Sirius looked at me, deeply offended.

I took a deep breath and prepared my punishment. "You four are going to go to Hagrid and apologize, no, _grovel_, incessantly until you've fixed the terror that you've caused. You are going to find that stupid student who thought that feeding Snap cards to a few living creatures was a good idea, and you are going to make him beg for mercy. I know you're capable of that."

They nodded emphatically.

"And you'll have detention."

There were simultaneous groans from the four teenage boys in front of me and I contemplated slapping each one.

"Let me finish my sentence, will you?" I said, annoyed. "You'll only have tomorrow night, which you should be _thankful _for, and I'm not going to tell McGonagall about your latest escapade. I can't believe I'm not reporting you to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. I am an angel, boys. Remember this."

To my disbelief, all four of them simultaneously leapt off the couch and kowtowed right at my feet.

"That's pushing it a bit," I said quickly, but decided to bask in the glory of the moment.

"Hey, Lily," Sirius piped up from the ground, and I glanced down at his curious expression, also joined by James who was glancing sideways at his best mate.

"Yes, Black?" I said warily bending down slightly to meet his gaze. Now we had captured Remus and Peter's attention, too.

"Was it _actually_ you that sighed at Jamesie-kins in Transfiguration today?" Sirius said gleefully.

Suddenly all the confusion and insanity that had messed me up earlier this afternoon came shooting back into my mind. Spluttering with anger, I saw no other solution than to step on Sirius's back with vigor, enjoy the strangled choking sounds he made for a moment, then leave for the girl's dormitories without further ado.

"Nice knickers, Evans!"

I shot a Jelly-Legs Jinx behind me for good measure.

* * *

It sometimes astounds me how things tend to flare up and then blow over so quickly. Thanks to the Exploding Puffskein Incident (which I never thought I'd be saying, much less be thankful for), people had virtually forgotten about the sighing debacle. Except for, you know, the Marauders and my friends, who were all equally interested in my tight-lipped behavior regarding the incident.

Rather tight-lipped, that is, unless you counted the hexes I sent at Sirius as he pretended to wilt and sigh as I walked past, screaming, "James! Oh, James!"

My Wednesday was quiet.

Potter and I had, after the St. Mango's incident and my sighing debacle, agreed to put the matter to rest by swearing to never speak of it again. Though he did always bring it up as great let's-ruin-Lily's-mood material, I threatened him often enough that he'd at least stop after a little bit. I was surprised he hadn't jumped on the opportunity, actually. I had pretty much stated out in the open that I at least found him physically attractive, and he'd done nothing but tease me about it and whisper to his little Marauder friends.

And to think I was in like with this pitiable boy.

Meanwhile, Marlene and I had proposed the Girl's Night to Alice and Miranda with girlish excitement. Alice and Miranda had reacted equally as girlishly, if not more so. We were having it in the girl's dorms, as James probably would either yell at us or interfere with our fun if I'd had the lack of sense to allow my friends in the Head dormitories. The date was set and I planned an outline for the event the morning of during charms, scribbling hastily on parchment underneath the desk as Flitwick lectured about charm engineering.

_Plans for the Girl's Night_

1. Opening: set safety precautionary measures against any open ears, propose agenda.

2. Discuss embarrassing moments of the week, as per usual.

3. Discuss present problems and matters at hand – propose solutions to Miranda and Marlene's current unspoken but very obnoxiously present predicament.

4. Have a bit of Miranda's firewhiskey.

5. Have a bit more of Miranda's firewhiskey.

6. Generally goof off.

8. Finish off firewhiskey.

"You forgot number 'seven' there," James said from beside me. I wasn't even surprised he was next to me anymore – just exasperated. His bad habit of popping up suddenly from nowhere was beginning to seem almost normal.

"Well – " I rechecked my list and realized to my embarrassment that he was right. I had forgotten 7. I covered my mistake up with an, "I meant to do that."

"Did you really?" grinned James. I realized that he had read my subtle list title and was now trying to get a better look at the rest of the list. "Seven's my favorite number, you know," he informed me as I protectively shielded my list from his eyes. "Pity you should skip it."

"Mr. Potter! Ms. Evans! Care to show me what you have there?" Flitwick piped up from the front of the classroom.

Not particularly, Professor. "Just notes," I assured him innocently. In eerie unison, the entire classroom turned to face my desk. Eyes blinked owlishly from the people surrounding me. Beside me Potter was stealthily switching my planning list with his dutifully written charms notes. As Flitwick strolled over, trying to look as menacing as possible from his meager four feet, I grabbed the list back before James could study it and hid it beneath my skirt.

Ha. No one was going down there, that's for sure.

Meanwhile, Flitwick was perusing James's notes with careful eyes as the rest of the classroom watched in fascination. Alice was giving me a look from by the window. I shrugged helplessly.

"Seems satisfactory," Flitwick announced, handing the notes back to me. "Please tell me, Ms. Evans, the proper aspects of charm engineering, and give an example using a charm we've learned in the past week." Flitwick looked at me expectantly, and James was also glancing at me furtively.

"Charm engineering covers aspects such as wandwork, mental attention, proper intonation, and overall control. For example, animating charms require the a specific manner, so to say, of the intended action, and correct pronunciation, along with clear intentions, in order to produce the desired effect." Ace, Evans.

"10 points to Gryffindor," Flitwick replied, smiling broadly, before returning to his podium and finishing his lecture.

I felt a nudge right above my elbow and realized James had passed me a note.

_Have fun with that firewhiskey, yeah? Take pictures for me!_

I sent a silent stinging hex in his direction, and James's following outcry was well received by the class.

After the bell rang James had lagged behind, clearly waiting for me. I didn't know what to make of our current friendship. I had grown closer to him than I cared to admit, and all this waiting and dancing around each other was beginning to frazzle my nerves. Not to mention that I'd made a wishing room full of posters of him just yesterday.

It haunted me to no end.

"Lily Evans, take a look at this," James said, rolling up his sleeve and showing me a rather nasty red mark, the product of my hex, on his forearm. His fine, fine forearm.

"Looking. Appreciating," I said fondly.

"I meant the _burn_, Lily, not _me_," James smirked.

I swatted him away. "Begone! I can't take you right now."

James slowly backed away to meet Sirius at the door. "You'll take me at all times, Lily. From now on and forevahh!"

His voice trailed off as he disappeared into the hallway.

I gazed after his figure and shook my head. Life was rather hopeless.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Hello. Nice to be back and writing again! **

**Review for the latest? I'll update soon!**

**-.x.**


	19. Remus

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: It be not mine, argh.

**A/N: Yeah...I said I'd update soon...but at least it hasn't been a year, right? I mean, almost a month. Better than nothing.**

**This chapter actually had to be split into two cause it was too long, so I have the next part coming up soon!**

* * *

Lunch was thinking time. But it seemed that Gryffindor was having none of that nonsense.

"I'm just saying that if he had maybe put the kangaroo to the _left_ of the naked mole rat, there might have been a marginally better chance of making it through the fifth basket."

"Right, and I'm a flowering teapot ready to mate."

"Well, I don't know what you do in your spare time – "

"Would you please just shut up!" I shouted at my friends, and Marlene and Miranda simultaneously stopped speaking, blinking at me owlishly in surprise.

"Well someone's got her knickers in a twist," Alice said, poking me with her fork before using it to spear a freshly baked potato slice.

"My pants are not in knots," I insisted crossly, retaliating her fork-jab with a quick elbow to the ribs. She nearly lost control of the baked potato.

"Your pants are in plenty of knots, Lily, and from what I can tell, it must also be riding up very uncomfortably," Marlene smirked. "I haven't seen you in such a state in a very long while."

"I recall," Miranda said false-ponderingly, "the only times she really gets like this is when James Potter has bothered her in some way or another – "

"But they haven't been arguing at all!" Alice cried, catching on to Miranda's tone. "What a curious, curious thing."

"But she's still so bothered," Marlene said, her grin growing wicked. "Maybe bothered in _other _ways, it seems…"

"Yeah, yeah, innuendo," I said moodily, eating my meal without much energy.

"What's got you down, Lil?" Alice asked kindly, having finished her baked potato, turning toward me and facing me down with an Alice Look.

"Nothing," I lied, not even bothering to hide my scowl. "Anyway, you guys are about done with lunch. I'll meet you up in the common room before charms, alright?"

Alice, Marlene, and Miranda all give me a simultaneous suspicious glance, but I passed it off with a beaming smile. Shrugging, they left the table in a cloud of chatter. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Remus glancing at me with an interested, but innocent expression on his face. I turned to him quickly and raised an eyebrow.

"What's got you all curious?" I asked.

"You," he stated blandly.

Of course he was curious. We were a regular pair of thinkers, we were.

Remus, anyone could tell you, was a quiet bookish sort. He tended to reason and logic his way through life, juxtaposing the outrageous and obnoxious ways of his best friends. It was this reason to why I'd always seen Remus Lupin as the most communicable of the lot. He wasn't so unbelievably out of his mind all of the time.

Not to say that he didn't have his moments. He was a Marauder, after all – but the anti-Marauder for the group, at least, when things got a bit dodgy.

When we had both become prefects in 5th year, I hadn't been entirely despondent, because we had several things in common – an obsessive adoration of all types of literature, a habit of analyzing everything we came across, and a work ethic that frustrated our friends to no end. So as we patrolled the corridors and sat together during meetings, I found myself forming an unlikely but not entirely unexpected friendship with him.

And of course, to my delight, it irritated James to no end. I've never been the type to pass up a perfectly good opportunity to annoy someone out of their wits, especially someone who seemed to delight in doing the exact same thing to me.

So Remus and I enjoyed each other's company, without the pesky interference of his pranksters or my curious friends, at times taking a break from the nonsensical people surrounding us. Patrols were fun and conversation was never difficult, just an easy flow of words between two people who had become fast friends.

But then Remus began skiving off. On a regular basis. And no matter how much I'd ignored what Severus had told me at the time, I couldn't just disregard it any longer.

I remember, distinctly, the night he'd told me. He'd been suspiciously shifty, and it was the week before the full moon – though I hadn't necessarily paid that mind at the time. Though I'd been chatty as ever, he had been decidedly quiet and thoughtful, though not nervous – it was as if he'd come to a decision that he couldn't avoid.

"You like me, don't you, Lily?" he'd said suddenly while I'd been rattling off everything I knew about magical tubas and the like. I stopped abruptly, in the middle of a fascinating fact about euphoniums, immediately growing suspicious at his incredibly out of place question.

"A fair bit, yeah," I said, confused. Jokingly, I asked, "Why? You're not going to confess to me, are you?"

He stuck out his tongue at my attempt to lighten the mood. "James 'd have my head, he's already gone completely mad," he replied, but then paused deliberately. The silence buzzed between us as my confusion grew and he remained still.

"I have lycanthropy."

Er. "You have whatsit?"

He stared at me for a bit as if I wasn't understanding something. Which I knew I wasn't, but it was still a tad irritating nonetheless. "Lycanthropy."

"Is that some sort of rash?" I asked, completely bewildered.

Remus gaped at me for a second. I had clearly not given him the reaction he'd been expecting.

He hesitated for a second, before completely unraveling in a way I'd never seen before. "Lycanthropy," he said, words tumbling from his lips, "is transmitted by a bite from a lycanthrope, and renders one in wolf-like state that only occurs at the peak of the full moon every month. In that state the lycanthrope completely loses its ability to think with human reason and submits to the bloodthirsty ways of the wolf, rendering it completely unable to –"

"So you're saying you're a werewolf," I cut Remus off, in fear of his inevitable death from constant babbling.

"Uh…yeah."

The silence, once again, reigned.

"Well, that's incredibly unfortunate," I said, looking at him rather sadly for a second. "You have to go through that every month? Must be bloody torture, right?"

Remus, if possible, looked even more shocked than he did before.

"You – you don't- you don't mind?" he spluttered rather incoherently.

"Why should I?" I smiled. "It's not your fault you turn into a violent hell-bent human-wolf hybrid every full moon. And I know that you're a fantastic fellow, wolf and all, so don't blow a gasket. Anyway," I said, tilting my head rather thoughtfully, "I'm a muggleborn, aren't I? So in this world we're both a little freaky. It's no big deal."

"You're not freaky. And you don't understand," Remus said. "I've been wanting to tell you this so I can explain my absences every month, but – "

"I understand perfectly," I said, and my tone was no longer light. "But I don't care."

His expression of relief, in that moment, marked down in my mind with the type of permanence a life-changing event usually has. It was as if the emotion flooded through him, as if he'd expected the worst and gotten far better than he could ever have imagined. And it was this that gave me the impression, in that instant – that Remus had much more bottled up inside his logical, reasonable self than anyone had ever really cared to explore.

Except for Sirius, James, and Peter, that is. And for a fraction of a second, I felt gratitude to the Marauders. There was no doubt in my mind that they knew every bit about Remus, especially more than I did, and supported him with more strength than I could even imagine.

Pondering this reflection over a steaming bowl of hot stew, I gazed a little too far off into the distance, and Remus took it upon himself to bring me back to reality.

"Lily – Lily Evans – hello, are you even conscious?"

"Quite," I said, falling out of my reverie and focusing my gaze on the weary blue eyes in front of me. "I'm absolutely fine, sorry Remus."

James suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I reddened immediately, and to my horror, it wasn't out of anger.

"What are you doing? Go away – " I began, but he interrupted.

"Is Lily okay? Does she need to go to the hospital wing? Does she need to lie down? I can take her to the dormitory – " he rushed urgently.

"I'm fine, you fool," I snapped. Remus rolled his eyes. "And I hope you'll never set foot in the girl's dormitory."

"It's actually sort of a lost cause," Sirius said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. "We make sure to visit at least once a week."

I gaped at him for a second, before deciding to ignore this unpleasantly surprising tidbit of conversation. Glancing back over at James, whose sudden entrance had seemed a little strange, I realized he was decked out in full Quidditch uniform, and his Nimbus was tucked under his arm.

"Off to Quidditch practice again, Potter?" I sighed.

"But of course! The match is only next _week_, Lily," James replied, mock-exasperated. Instantly perking up, he quipped, "Come watch us fly! Alexander's girlfriend does all the time – " A fifth year clad in scarlet and gold Quidditch robes waved from behind the small crowd of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

I found myself, already rather flushed, turning a complete and utter tomato red. Watch them practice! As if…as if I was some sort of…

Girlfriend.

As my mind sputtered over that concept, my mouth decided to run loose, and a jumble of "um, err, erk, I mean – " came out before I regained control of my speech.

"I think that's somewhere around a no," Remus said quietly to the side. Sirius sniggered slightly.

James looked heartbreakingly crestfallen. It took all the restraint I had not to leap off of the bench and hug him with all my might. As things were, I squirmed a bit in my seat and, the blush still flaming across my skin, said squeakily, "Maybe another time. When I'm not having lunch."

"But of course, my flower must have her meal," James said gallantly, before trooping off with the rest of the Quidditch players.

"Technically, flowers don't eat," Sirius called to his retreating form. Opening his arms as if they were petals, Sirius basked in the sunlight filtering from the enchanted ceiling, chanting, "Photosynthesis! Photosynthesis!"

Remus and I looked on in amusement. As Sirius continued to photosynthesize, Remus redirected his attention to me once more.

"So, you're acting more than your usual strange," he commented, waving his fork around rather carelessly.

That damn blush, the one that had just begun to fade away, returned full-force. I tried not to think about how James, just by being within feet of me, had made me completely lose my head.

And it was all because of this stupid realization. The acknowledgement of my _feelings_. Why did I have to do that? I could've been swimming in the river of denial, but instead I was floundering on the shores of blundering acceptance.

THOSE DAMN GRIEF STAGES. Why had my friends even brought them up in the first place?

"I'm really not sure who's crazier – you or Sirius," Remus said suddenly, and I realized I had been muttering "tsunami of denial" under my breath through my entire thought process, while Sirius had continued his photosynthesis.

He was still continuing his photosynthesis.

I sighed and turned to Remus, hesitant about actually telling him what was on my mind for obvious reasons. I decided to hedge my response a bit.

"Remus, I need some help," I started.

"You certainly do," he agreed emphatically.

"Listen to me, you dolt!" I cried, flicking the side of his forehead.

"Ouch! Alright," he said sorely, massaging the spot that I'd attacked.

"Say, hypothetically," I started off, "that…someone died."

Well, they were the stages of grief, right?

Remus gave me a horrified look. I guess I hadn't exactly started it off as well as I thought.

"It's all hypothetical!" I cried. "And not even death. Say that…something terrible has happened. And it's been happening for a very long time, but you just didn't realize it for the most part because you were in…in…d…denial."

"Denial," Remus said, tilting his head and looking at me oddly.

"You know what? I give up," I huffed, pushing my now cold stew away and slumping down on the table.

"Well, er, Lily…cheer up, will you? I'm sure it's not that bad," Remus said, sounding as unsure as he possibly could. He gave me an awkward pat on my back. "Be chipper, Lily flower."

I turned and ogled him. "You sounded exactly like James just now."

"Yeah, well, I thought it would work," Remus muttered.

"And why would you think that?" I asked shrewdly, narrowing my eyes dangerously. Remus immediately picked up on the impending doom.

"It's not like I _meant_ anything by it, Lily," he laughed nervously, and as fear of my wrath once again overtook my prey, I began to realize something, quite calmly.

Remus was the ticket.

Remus was the ticket to figuring out the Halloween prank.

But of course! And in the common room – after those exploding puffskeins – Remus had almost given away the prank anyway!

I could feel it in my bones. Remus would be the easiest marauder to break.

"Nevermind what I was saying earlier," I said, shaking my head and waving my hand airily. "I've got other things I have to talk to you about. Emmeline and Robert just told me a couple hours ago that they can't take patrol on the 30th."

"Of October?" Remus said, surprised.

"Yes, what else?" I rolled my eyes. "And I was thinking, as long as you're not _up to anything_ the night before Halloween…"

"PHOTOSYNTHESIS!"

There was a massive commotion as Sirius somehow leapt up on top of the Gryffindor table and began operatically singing with all his might.

"OaaahhAHAHHHHHH! LalaLAAAA!"

"What in Merlin's name?" I yelled, as Sirius pranced over to me and bent down so we were face to face – and for whoever was unfortunately behind him, face to arse.

Maybe not so unfortunate.

Bad thought tangents.

"Lily of the valley, the dearest flower of them all, the fiery, violent vixen of our prestigious school of Hogwarts," Sirius started with a knowing grin. "Are you trying to fool Remus into spilling Marauder-only secrets?"

I was infuriated. Not only because Sirius had caught on so quickly I hadn't even had the chance to weasel anything useful out of Remus, but also because he was so terribly _right_ that I couldn't possibly argue back.

But I could lie.

"How dare you!" I said righteously, standing up from the bench for full effect. Sirius leapt down from the table so we were face to face – or more face to collarbone, given his ridiculous height.

"I believe, on the Wednesday of October 25th, 1978, Lily Evans fully and knowingly attempted to wheedle confidential Marauder information out of our poor, dear, Moony," Sirius stated in a pompous, arrogant tone, chuffing Remus roughly on the shoulders to Remus's displeasure.

"_I _believe that a certain Sirius Black, at the lunchtime on the noble day of Wednesday, October 25th, 1978, made false accusations against the honorable and innocent Lily Evans," I countered powerfully. "Let it be known that Ms. Evans was just merely trying to _rearrange the prefect patrols_, and never even touched upon the 'masterful' pranks of the so-called Gryffindor 'Marauders'."

Everyone surrounding us was watching with bemused, albeit rapt, interest. Sirius looked impressed.

"That was quite a defense, Ms. Evans," he commended.

"Why thank you, Mr. Black," I smiled grimly. "You're not too shabby of a prosecution yourself."

"Why don't we settle this in a quieter setting, Lily Flower? One with less spectators, perhaps? You know…a place for decent…alone time," Sirius said, glee edging the innuendo-laced words shooting from his lips.

"Only if Remus comes too," I grinned, relishing in the dirtiness of it all. Sirius barked with laughter as gasps ran up the Hufflepuff table. I giggled slightly, but resumed my straight-faced mask quickly.

"To the Common Room it is," Remus sighed heftily. Sirius and I grinned.

"Lead the way, ol' Moony o' Mine."

* * *

**A/N:**

**Review! Please? Next chapter coming up, and I promise, soon!**

**-.x.**


	20. Sirius

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Nah.

**A/N: **

**Read on! Sirius time :)**

* * *

The Common Room was comfortingly empty, but I saw to my chagrin that Alice, Marlene, and Miranda were nowhere to be found – I was depending on them to back up my arguments against Remus and Sirius. There was absolutely no way I was actually going to be able to learn anything from Remus if Sirius was here, and them together, well…I was practically walled out.

"So Remus," I began innocently.

"Bup bup bup!" Sirius cried out. "No direct talking to my client."

"Oh, drop the lawyer act already, will you Black?" I asked exasperatedly.

"I believe that is Mr. Black, Esquire, to you," he sniffed mock-haughtily. I kicked him in the shin softly and he relented.

"Anyway, now that Black's out of criminal justice," I snarled at him, before turning to Remus once more and simpering, "But really, could you take that night on the 30th? There isn't anything you could _possibly _be doing so close to Halloween – "

"Lily! Take your feminine wiles and begone!" Sirius declared, protectively defending a rather bewildered Remus Lupin.

"Feminine wiles!" I huffed. "You know what, Lupin, just leave. I believe I need to have a word with Mr. Black, _Esquire_."

Remus left in such a hurry that I could've sworn he'd apparated.

Sirius threw himself onto the couch in front of the fire, stretching his legs across until there was absolutely no room for me to sit, then crossing them tauntingly as if rubbing it in my face.

"So there was something you'd like to tell me, Lils?" Black asked.

"Not so much tell, as discuss," I said quietly, and my tone surprised him to an extent that some of the mischievous glint dimmed in his grey eyes.

"Well, discuss away, so long as it's nothing too incriminating," Sirius said, now a little curious as to what I was getting at.

"It's actually nothing to do with whatever you're up to on Halloween," I sighed, sitting between the couch and the fire so the flames flickered and warmed me behind my back. "It's actually more to do with my mates, and how you're messing with them."

Sirius went still and silent immediately, tensing up, the glitter in his usually light eyes turned to an overcast, stormy cloud.

I thought for a moment, considering my words so they would be phrased in a way that was actually effective.

"I know the Marauders," I began. "Sure, you call yourselves a group of elite pranksters, because that is exactly what you are – but more than that, you're also the closest group of friends I've ever set eyes on. You support each other in ways I probably can't even imagine, and your lives are more than just connected – they are intertwined at every twist and turn. So you have to know what I'm trying to do when I'm saying…I'm just trying to protect my friends."

There was a silence, neither tense nor calm, nor deathly cold and quiet, nor warm and comforting. It was just a silence, and the only thing you could detect was thought.

Sirius's voice broke roughly. "Protect them, huh?"

"Why else would I care so much?"

The fire crackled.

"I'm not going to talk to you about my love life, Evans," Sirius said, picking his legs up from the couch and setting them on the ground in a typical guy-manner. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees, and looked me straight in the eyes. His gaze did not waver, and neither did mine.

Storm grey mixed with emerald green in a silent battle of dominance.

"I'm not asking you to," I replied calmly, still not breaking eye contact. "I'm just asking for you to think before you act. Because every bit of hurt you inflict on either Marlene or Miranda, I'll make sure you receive tenfold."

Sirius stared for a moment more, but then a grin eased onto his face, and the glint returned to his eyes. "I'd be disappointed with anything less."

Against my better judgment, a smile crept onto my face, and I shuffled around on the carpet to lean back against the couch cushions next to Sirius's knees. We both stared into the fire for a little bit.

"Hey, Lilykins?" Sirius said quietly.

I sighed. There really was nothing I could do about the nicknames at this point. "Yes, Sirimuffin?"

He laughed. "Good one. But I was wondering…have you heard anything else about my brother?"

He had lost me. "Huh?" I asked, confused. Looking up at Sirius's face, I could see that he was carefully keeping up a mask of calm, controlling every muscle as to not give away any indication of what was actually running through his mind.

"You know. About the necklace you found, and how Reg – Regulus – he claimed it. It's just…you haven't really found out any more about that, have you?"

I felt guilty, but I tried my best not to look away from Sirius's face. "Sorry, Sirius, I haven't. I think it was just a one time thing. And if he really was up to anything, he wouldn't be parading it around now that the mudblood Head Girl's on his case, right?"

"Don't call yourself that."

"It's just a word," I muttered, looking back at the fire.

"Words have meanings, and you don't deserve anything that you have thrown at you," Sirius said distantly.

I looked up at him again, now more curious than I'd ever been.

"Do you know what my family's like, Evans?" Sirius said, finally turning away from the fire to meet my gaze with a grim, twisted smile. I didn't like that smile.

"Only vaguely," I answered.

"They're the pureblood extremists who are causing all of this shite in the first place," Sirius said, and his voice was detached, cold, almost mechanical. "They're the ones who support mass murder of innocent lives. They thrive in the killing of 'dirty blood'. It's disgusting, is what it is.

"Ever since I was a kid I couldn't understand why they were so set in their ways, but I just went with them. They were so bigoted, so unreasonable, so…_stupid_. And if I hadn't been shown a better perspective by my cousin, Andromeda, I would've probably ended up exactly like them. Exactly like how Regulus has become.

"I've made a couple of sacrifices so I wouldn't have to bend to their will. I've kind of lost my family, and hopefully have shamed my mum so that she can't show her face anymore, but that's alright. I've James, and Remus and Peter, and I might not see my family anymore, but I'm still myself, and I still stand for what I believe in. And there's something about hard choices that makes your beliefs even stronger."

His words, first so edgy, had turned softer and kinder. They washed over me like a breeze.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"You're fucking brilliant, you know that?"

I didn't even have to look up to sense his easy smile. "Yeah. Known it for a while, actually."

I thought back, way back, to when I had found the necklace. To the headlines I'd read in the Prophet, to that moment when James had held my hand and told me he'd be with me when the world turned on its axis.

I knew what I had to say.

"Sirius, you know what this means, right?" I said boldly.

"Could mean a ton of things, really, Evans," he said, amused.

"You say it's worth making a hard choice if you know you're right," I repeated, continuing with a running fervor. "But what's the worth in having those ideas, those beliefs, if you're just going to let them sit in your head? You're right, Sirius. There's an entire army out there that's building and it's going to fuck us up to pieces if we don't do anything about it. But I'm not ready to see my family go yet, and I'm not ready to go myself, either. I'm definitely sure that you're not just going to sit and think about it for the rest of eternity. So why don't we just _do_ something about it?"

"Do something about it?" Sirius repeated.

"We're almost out of school and I bet you're either terrified out of your pants about your future, or you have a set career idea in store, or a combination of both. But we're practically legal, Sirius. We know everything that any wizard knows, and since we're both brilliant, probably more. Voldemort – and I don't care about this You-Know-Who name business – has an army, but it's an army of brainless, bigoted, hateful people. We have strength, and something worth fighting for. So why not fight for it?"

Sirius looked at me for a second, and I couldn't tell whether he thought I was crazy or ingenious.

"I can see what James sees in you sometimes, Evans," Sirius said, a smile playing on his lips. "You've got a bit of moxie, haven't you?

"Did you just say I have…moxie?" I asked, deflating rapidly.

"Yeah, moxie," Sirius said. "But James is always going on and on about how it's impossible to find another girl like you, always talking about your spirit and passion and all these ridiculously romantic things – "

I think my blush was practically covering my whole body by now. And getting redder by the second.

"Does he – does he really say that?" I asked, trying to sound stable and less like a mental patient.

"Yeah. Most of the time. But some of the time he just sits in his bed and lusts after you with a pillow on his lap."

I almost exploded.

"Really?" I said again, my voice ten octaves too high.

"Yeah. Too often, really. Think you can relieve a bit of his sexual frustration?" Sirius said slyly.

"More than a bit," I said before I'd even realized.

Sirius gaped. "Well why don't I just get James and you and him can – "

"No! Shut up! That never happened! I said nothing!" I cried, leaping up from the ground and smothering Sirius with a pillow.

"What is going on?" a voice called out, and I saw Peter peeking out from the boy's stair.

"Just the norm," I said cheerfully, continuing to cut off Sirius's air supply.

"Merlin, Evans! Don't _kill_ me! And after all we've been through!" Sirius cried out dramatically. "Oh, hey Pete. Come join us, will you?"

"Is it safe to come down now? Oh, good," Remus said, and I saw him too emerge from the boy's dormitories, a good book in hand.

Finding myself surrounded by all the Marauders (minus James), I began to realize that these boys that I'd classified and labeled all my life as the Marauders were more than just Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot – they were people. And together, while they formed a sort of supergroup, they were still much the same people that they were alone, only each fortified the other. They were all strengthened by bonds so strong I'd be scared to see them shattered.

Which made me think, more than I really wanted to, about Prongs himself.

As the lunch break toiled away, and more students filtered in from the Great Hall, I made myself comfortable with the Marauders Minus James, participating in their banter and generally enjoying my heart out.

"What the - ?"

Ah, finally. The entrance of the main man himself. Finally, Quidditch had decided to let out, and James Potter was once again in my life.

That hour of peace had been precious.

"James, m'boy! Look who's come to play!" Sirius called out in excitement across the common room.

"It seems I've replaced you, Prongs," I winked, and James, to his credit, had every right to look as dumbfounded as he did.

It was adorable, the way his jaw was slightly slack and his hair was still a bit damp from the shower. And the way his uniform was settled on his shape, and the trace of his torso –

Getting carried away.

"What do you say we call her? Bambi?" Sirius said, as happy as a puppy upon finding a strange new object to mess with. Which I basically was.

"Bambi's a boy, you idiot," Remus said, not even bothering to look up from his book.

"Really? Camp name for a boy, I say – "

"Oi! You lot! What's going on here?" James cried out, utterly baffled.

"GOT IT! Prongless," Peter said, clapping his hands together at his creation.

"That's fucking brill, Wormtail."

"Take it easy on the sarcasm, Padfoot. Gorsh."

James had had, apparently, enough. "GUYS!"

His boom echoed around the tower, and the entire common room fell silent.

"It's simple, James," I said, smiling, breaking the unnatural silence. "I've taken your place. And all your friends."

James could only gape as Sirius and Remus both encircled me in a very friendly hug. A small part of my mind was thinking, _I could get used to this. Being surrounded by attractive blokes. And Peter._

At that moment, in a spot of perfect timing, Alice, Marlene, and Miranda strolled into the common room with a strange vat of steaming something in their hands. The pot was huge and silver, held by Marlene, and the steam rising out of it seemed to be a bright lilac color.

Potter, completely ignoring the fact that they were holding a huge, boiling pot, rushed up to my friends at first sight and bent down on his knees dramatically.

"He's really taking it far," Sirius commented offhandedly from my left.

"The git," Remus muttered from my right.

"Miranda! Marlene! Alice! I'm begging you, you beautiful, wonderful, perfect, _charming_ young women – "

"I like this guy," Miranda said, pointing to James's head.

"It seems," James said gravely, "that my friends – _best mates_ – have been stolen away from me by a terrible seductress."

"Seductress!" I hollered across the room.

"So you see," James said, taking a bewildered Alice's hand in a gentle hold, "I must find company…with you."

Marlene, Miranda, and Alice all surveyed the scene for a moment, observing me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, then looked back to James, who was positively groveling on the carpet.

"Eh, sure, why not, Potter."

"Now just move, alright? We need to get this up the room before it cools."

And my friends, the great souls they were, marched past the kneeling Potter and chatted all the way up to the girl's dormitories.

I was in hysterics.

"That was just too…good! Oh, Merlin, I think my sides are splitting – I'm going to have to give them superb Christmas presents, I have the best mates _ever – "_

Suddenly, I felt a strange sensation graze my scalp. It wasn't unpleasant, but altogether unsettling.

"What just happened?" I asked nervously, knowing magic and its unexpected actions. Sirius and Remus both simultaneously jumped away a little bit.

"Holy Merlin's pants, that is fucking _weird_," Sirius said, looking at my head in awe.

"Well, since you're thoroughly replacing me," James said with a smile, "I decided to give you matching locks."

In horror, I reached up to my hair and instead of long, gingery goodness, found myself with the equivalent of a jet black pixie cut – not only that, but hair so untidy and messed up it was as if the Tasmanian Devil had ran through my head.

"What have you done!" I cried, before leaping up and sending a jet of red light shooting at James head. In a second his usual mop was replaced with wavy red locks.

It was just about the funniest thing I'd ever set eyes on. Peter, Sirius and Remus were very much in agreement, if their howls of laughter were any indication.

"Change me back!" James cried, almost in cardiac arrest.

"Only if you change me!" I shouted frantically back, my wand still pointed in his direction. Remus and Sirius were now practically rolling on the floor, and Peter had flipped off the edge of his chair.

Simultaneously, our spells shot across the room, but in the confusion they ended up hitting to sixth years who had been working on Transfiguration homework.

"Get it right, Potter!" I yelled as another two boys wound up with flowing ginger hair and a tornado mop.

"Speak for yourself!" he yelled back, and finally, my head was returned to normal.

Fingering a red curl, I sighed happily, before looking up at James who was almost ecstatically ruffling his own very messy hair.

Again.

The smarmy bastard. I just wanted to…

To…

Well, damn it.

"I'm going upstairs before I become a ginger," Sirius said, and Remus and Peter followed him up to the boys dorms, chortling cheerfully all the way.

"Gits," James muttered, and I laughed. The sound surprised him, and he looked back up from the ground, then stepped toward me slowly.

"You were acting a little weird at lunch today," James said, eyeing me in such a mature, calculated manner that I couldn't possibly see how this was the same person who was, minutes ago, propelling hair spells across the common room.

"Yeah, might've been something I ate," I said, acknowledging that it was probably the poorest excuse for anything I'd ever given before. "But guess what?"

"What?" James said, settling down into the seat recently vacated by Sirius. I sat down next to him.

"I think I may have just become friends with Sirius Black."

I had suspected surprise, but it was most certainly not what I got. Instead, it was utter delight – and a little bit of embarrassment, too.

"You – you and Padfoot – _Sirius_ – friends?"

I swallowed a laugh. "Let me simplify it. Lily. Sirius. Friends."

"That's brilliant," James said, settling back into the armchair and folding his arms behind his head. All of a sudden, a look of panic crossed his eyes.

"Wait a second. He didn't say anything embarrassing about me, did he?" James said urgently.

"It depends on what you classify 'embarrassing'," I hedged, and James groaned. "But hey, look at it this way. There really isn't anything you could possibly do now that would embarrass you more than you have already in your lifetime."

James paused. "Thanks. I think."

"Don't mention it," I said, ruffling his hair. "By the way, I really do prefer you with your tornado mop."

"You wouldn't be nearly as great without your gingeryness," James agreed, taking a ringlet and twirling it around his finger.

I tried my best to hold it down, but a shade of crimson ended up tinting my cheeks. Too soon, James's hand slipped away and he had leaned away.

"See you later, Lily," James grinned.

"What? No! What are you – "

But he was already getting up from the chair and leaving me behind to stare at his back as he left through the portrait hole.

This frustration. I didn't know what it was, but if I didn't do something about it soon, I could guarantee a mental breakdown in the future.

* * *

**A/N: Well, well, Lily.**

**I'll try to update soon, I've got time on my hands...**

**Drop a review by, it'll make the world sunny. **

**Love you all :)**

**-.x.**


	21. To Youth

MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL

NARRATOR: Ms. Lily Evans

SUMMARY: It's the start of 7th year and things are beginning to spiral out of Lily's control. Follow her day-to-day adventures in this multi-chaptered fic about love, hate, and the many aspects of a 17-year-old witch's life.

RATING: T, for language, some visual imagery, and attempted humor.

Disclaimer: Nope.

**YEAR. HAHAHA. **

* * *

"Pass the whiskey," Marlene bumbled, pronouncing it "hwiskey". Miranda giggled shrilly and fell into her lap.

Some part of me was wondering whether firewhiskey was a choice drink for a school night, but the wonderfully warm feeling spreading from the tips of my ears to my toes argued otherwise.

Oh, to be young and drunk with love!

Except, firewhiskey, and not love.

We were surrounded by an immense fort of bed hangings and linens, the floor strewn with pillows and comforters, dressed to the nines in our underwear and laid out across the ground. A silver platter was stacked with fancy little sandwiches, cakes, and a scattering of tea cookies next to our glasses of butter beer and firewhiskey. Alice and I were pacing ourselves, but Marlene and Miranda were already completely far gone. So I sat, happily woozy, reveling in the power of friendship.

"Hey, that's your third glass, you tipsy ditz," I quipped, snatching it away from Miranda before she could down it in seconds. "You've still got stories to tell, both of you, so don't get completely smashed yet. I've already let you indulge before making you speak, do be thankful."

"Yes master," Miranda replied, though her fingers reached again for the glass. "Liquor makes things easier."

"That's something an alcoholic would say," Alice pointed out, taking a sip of her butter beer-whiskey concoction.

"Alcoholics," Marlene said, frowning. "Am I an alcoholic, Lily?"

"Of course not. No more for you either, though," I said, also taking away her glass, "Well, for now, at least." And while they weren't looking I sneaked a sip out of both of their drinks and smiled as the liquid sizzled down.

"D-I-G-G-O-R-Y," Marlene spelled, hugging a pillow to herself and leaning forward towards Miranda, a taunting, sly smile on her flushed face. "Tell us all your secrets, darling."

"He's a good lay," Miranda said flatly, before her face broke into a tremendous grin. "But did you know he has a tiny pecker?"

We howled with laughter. "So that's all it was then?" I asked. "Just sexual venting?"

"Bah, I liked him at first," Miranda said, wiggling her hand in a nonchalant gesture, "because he was so romantic, mainly. I'm not used to that, you know - things are usually gritty and messy with me."

There was a slight uncomfortable pause where we all mentally thought _Sirius_, but it passed as Miranda plowed on with her tale.

"And he's dim as a dingbat, not to mention a terrible conversationalist. The boy really enjoys himself, you know? So I got tired of the Little Prick Prince and started being less, fake, I guess, you know, more like my usual."

"The hateful, weird, sarcastic little shrew you are," Marlene said lovingly.

"Yeah, so he dumped me," Miranda said, and gestured to me to pass back her glass of firewhiskey. I obliged - she had earned it. "It kinda sucks that whenever I actually act like myself men get tired of me, but I guess I bring that on on my own, right?"

"It just goes to show that you haven't found the right person yet," Alice said quietly.

"It would be nice to be like you, Alice," Marlene said, turning onto her stomach. "You've found what everyone's looking for, haven't you?" Miranda nodded fervently in agreement.

"We're just bitter old women next to you," I agreed, cocking my head to the side and studying the smile on her face. It seemed sad, but at the same time, incredibly happy.

"I - well, maybe," Alice said, looking towards her knees. "Which I've been meaning to tell you guys this, but..."

The air was still. We watched in slight awe as a crimson blush flooded Alice's fair skin.

"Holy Merlin, he proposed didn't he," Marlene gasped.

We all waited on edge, anticipation stamped on our faces, until Alice nodded quickly.

The collective scream was loud enough to wake a sleeping troll. Thank Merlin we'd thought to put up silencing charms on the fort.

"ALICE! ALICE! ALICE!" was all Miranda could say, shouting with a dumbfounded gape on her face, while Marlene was rolling around on the floor, shrieking with happiness. I took Alice into my arms and clung to her tightly, grinning so hard I couldn't speak. Alice shook, and I realized that she was crying. How come she hadn't told us about this? These were tears of happiness, right?

Right, because when I pulled back, through the streams of tears glittering in her eyes I saw complete and true happiness, and knew immediately that that was how I wanted to feel someday. That filling dedication that could send you to the brink of sanity, could launch you soaring into the sky. A love filled not with pain but with brilliance and freedom. And I knew, in that moment, who could make me feel happy, but it came and went in a fleeting, breezy thought, clouded by alcohol and emotion.

"We're so young," Alice said, hiccuping slightly and rubbing the tears out of her eyes with her sleeve while Marlene and Miranda watched in awe. They were utterly spellbound by the thought of a successful school romance. "He says he understands if I'm not ready to answer yet - in fact, he doesn't want an answer yet. I'm scared, because we're going to be barely eighteen, but I can't imagine anything without him. I really think I love him. I was planning on saying yes, but I was just so unsure about it all.

"There's so much destruction going on right now, I never want to be in a situation where I can't see him and can't make sure he's safe and beside me. I don't know if we can handle just launching ourselves into the world, but...thanks, guys, for supporting me, I really -" she laughed nervously through her tears and we all reached for a piece of her to cling to, a part of her that we could touch to maybe feel the things she felt.

"Go for it, Alice," Marlene said, smiling slyly but genuinely. "If there's any story book couple that will never be separated, it's you and Frank. You'll have beautiful babies that will defeat You Know Who yourself, you'll see. You and Frank, and maybe Lily and James - you guys all seem like you could make world-saving children. Yes, definitely."

I was blushing a royal crimson. "You shut your dirty mouth," I said defensively, but it came out sounding more silly than angry.

"Oh you know it's inevitable," Miranda said, turning to me. "Speaking of which, it's about time you come clean, Lily. You've been in love for weeks and we still haven't heard a proper confession of your acceptance."

I gaped.

"We're you're best friends you dumbbutt," Marlene stated obviously. "Did you seriously think you could ever keep something from us?"

Alice and Miranda shook their heads disapprovingly.

By now I was so red you could've used my face for redirecting traffic. "I don't - "

They continued to stare, unconvinced.

"But, I hate him, I -"

More skepticism.

"Guys, listen to me! I can't -"

"Do you want us to force veritaserum down your throat?" Miranda exploded.

"You love him!" Marlene and Alice hollered, before tackling me to the ground and sitting square on my back.

"Get off, you oafs!" I roared.

"Lily Evans loves James Potter and we're not getting up until she says so!" they chanted in an eerie unison.

"NEVER!" I screamed, finding the power to grab their legs and fling them off of my back. They tumbled across the floor, surprised, and I seethed as they watched my rapidly changing expressions - from anger, to embarrassment, then anger again - flit across my face.

"Is this part of your automatic defense mechanism? Cause if so, it's going to be awful hard for you to confess to him," Miranda said doubtfully.

In all seriousness, I glared at them and began a winding explanation. It started with my newfound tolerance for his antics, and our budding friendship, but as I continued my voice started sounding more and more disgustingly sappy - I could feel it in the words tumbling from my rather tipsy lips. I was now talking about how he suddenly seemed so physically attractive, and everything that annoyed me about him also endeared me to him. I was, in short, completely unraveling.

And I told them that it would be too much, too soon, if I began dating him now, because there was so much dysfunction in our past. It was better to leave him free then to tie him down when there were so many things I was still unsure about.

Their looks upon hearing this were utterly furious, but they did not say one unsupportive word, besides calling me a "daft cow".

"He's never going to run away from you, but you've got to understand that no one waits forever," Marlene sighed. Her words sparked a nervousness in me, and I knew that that was exactly what I was afraid of.

I took another glass of firewhiskey. Down the hatch.

"But past wise, sometimes you just have to put things behind you," Miranda said, swirling her finger around the rim of her cup. "Marlene."

The atmosphere was rather awkward, and Alice and I retreated to each other for comfort as we watched Miranda and Marlene lock eyes, their similarly dark gazes meeting with a snap, Miranda's heterochromatic eyes glistening and Marlene's dark blue irises flashing in response.

"He's a douchebag," Miranda said, and we all knew who she was talking about. "But I'm sure you know that."

"I do," Marlene said, nodding in acceptance. "But what's sad and strange is that right now I don't really seem to care. You've got history with him, Miranda."

"He was the only one who would pay attention to me when I'm really acting myself," Miranda shrugged, "but I guess I can find any old masochist who will do that. Marlene, he's yours - you can appreciate him way more than I can ever imagine myself doing."

"Don't give up," Marlene said quietly, as if hurt by Miranda's defeat. Which she was - a friend's pain was her pain, as it was with all of us.

"I mean it. When I'm around him, I'm destructive. I just need to take some time to calm myself. And I want your happiness more than anything. Merlin knows you deserve it." With those words, she poured us all another glass of firewhiskey, right to the brim in each cup, and lifted hers in victory.

"Cheers," she said, a wry grin twisting her lips, and we matched her expression, raising our glasses in the air in one triumphant toast to our world.

As we settled down and things became comfortably quiet, I blew out the hovering candles within our fort - a fire hazard I hadn't considered before, and only vaguely noted at the time - and let my thoughts run through my head as I drifted off into a dazed, blurry sleep.

I guess if some things ruin friendships, it's better to just bury them and leave them behind. Sirius - for Marlene and Miranda, at least, he's just another roadblock that they've overcome. Perhaps he won't mind, though. It seems like he wouldn't. I'm not sure what will ever make him happy - be it a girl, or a sexual favor.

And with those thoughts lulling me to sleep, I closed my eyes and dreamt of a boy with emerald green eyes and messy jet black hair, a smile on his face and a scar on his forehead, and James' warmth against my body.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So. Don't kill me. Update soon, I think.**

**-.x.**


End file.
